brokenwingz Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I posted on here recently. Now short story, Ex and I were together 6 yrs..We had no contact for 3 years and silly me contacted him, to catch up and see how he was doing. Now of course he will always be in my heart and I genuinely care for him. Note he recently split with the girl he left me for 6 months ago, they have a lil boy together. In which he said, he has no plans of being with her ever again. We started out great for a week, friendly catch up, him sending good morning, and goodnight to me. I thought hey I like how this feels, like old times. All of this is thru texting(which sucks)Then week 2 He seemed to get distant but yet flirty. Basically, I said "I am in too good of a mood to go home alone tonight" He replies with "Reeallly, Whos the lucky guy"? I said no one unfortunately and at that moment it could have been him, but oh no I won't jump in that easy again. So he went silent for 2 days, I asked if I annoyed him "he says no" Okay into week 3 and he totally won't repy to none of my texts, simple How are you? Is everything okay? This is the same exact thing he did to me when he was dumping me 3 years ago. He just went silent and changed his number. Now I feel taken back to that day and it hurts like hell. I honestly didnt see this coming, I just thought a little friendly chat here and there and see where it goes. Does anyone understand what is happening? Is he scared of what he is feeling or he genuinely can't stand me?? I was prepared at the beginning for a no response, but 3 weeks into, what he said he wanted us to be friends? Why now after 3 years can you treat me so cold AGAIN? I was not asking for marriage just friends.
Tiera D Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 its simple,he was using you to get over his ex,and your simply convenient in his needy time,now he got over it,your no longer needed.sorry its harsh,atleast now you opened your eyes to who he is,my 3rd ex occasionally pull this trick on me too,i simply keep my options open with many girls,OP its time to remove those rose tinted glasses and see who he really is TD
Author brokenwingz Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 its simple,he was using you to get over his ex,and your simply convenient in his needy time,now he got over it,your no longer needed.sorry its harsh,atleast now you opened your eyes to who he is,my 3rd ex occasionally pull this trick on me too,i simply keep my options open with many girls,OP its time to remove those rose tinted glasses and see who he really is TD Update Tiera: I texted him and asked him if he was mad? He replied and said "no I'm not mad" and instantly said "I was just remembering nights like these on the island" So I take it he been thinking about me..hope this is a good sign..What do you think?
Sav Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Im really doubting you just want to be friends 1
beyond Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I posted on here recently. Now short story, Ex and I were together 6 yrs..We had no contact for 3 years and silly me contacted him, to catch up and see how he was doing. Now of course he will always be in my heart and I genuinely care for him. Note he recently split with the girl he left me for 6 months ago, they have a lil boy together. In which he said, he has no plans of being with her ever again. We started out great for a week, friendly catch up, him sending good morning, and goodnight to me. I thought hey I like how this feels, like old times. All of this is thru texting(which sucks)Then week 2 He seemed to get distant but yet flirty. Basically, I said "I am in too good of a mood to go home alone tonight" He replies with "Reeallly, Whos the lucky guy"? I said no one unfortunately and at that moment it could have been him, but oh no I won't jump in that easy again. So he went silent for 2 days, I asked if I annoyed him "he says no" Okay into week 3 and he totally won't repy to none of my texts, simple How are you? Is everything okay? This is the same exact thing he did to me when he was dumping me 3 years ago. He just went silent and changed his number. Now I feel taken back to that day and it hurts like hell. I honestly didnt see this coming, I just thought a little friendly chat here and there and see where it goes. Does anyone understand what is happening? Is he scared of what he is feeling or he genuinely can't stand me?? I was prepared at the beginning for a no response, but 3 weeks into, what he said he wanted us to be friends? Why now after 3 years can you treat me so cold AGAIN? I was not asking for marriage just friends. You obviously want more than friends, so don't kid yourself. He dumped you for another girl and now you are chasing after him, sending him flirty messages and, when he acts cold, you chase him again asking him what's wrong. Don't you think if he really wanted you, he would have been the one to break no contact and would be going all out to win you back if that was his true intention?
Author brokenwingz Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 You obviously want more than friends, so don't kid yourself. He dumped you for another girl and now you are chasing after him, sending him flirty messages and, when he acts cold, you chase him again asking him what's wrong. Don't you think if he really wanted you, he would have been the one to break no contact and would be going all out to win you back if that was his true intention? Well to my surprise last night he responded to my question "Are you mad at me now?" He said No and immediately started remanising about when we were together?? Asking me alot of personal questions.. Then I asked why does he ignore me some days? He said cause he is trying to forgive and forget and is angry how after it was over, I acted crazy and to talked to his new GF and told her things she did not know yet. So As I see it..He is on the fence with his feelings, He is struggling with old feelings of us and anger for how I handled how HE hurt me.. Any other guesses? And for the record..It would take months of rebuilding trust to ever invite him over or even take him back..Actually I would take him back..no one knows the entire story here
Treasa Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 It really sounds like you're desperate to get him back, and you're chasing him. That is really unattractive, and men can smell it a mile away. I would stop texting him completely and ask him not to contact you unless he's interested in rekindling things. When it comes to people who are purely just my friends, I don't worry if I don't hear from them for weeks, much less days, and I certainly don't ask them if they're mad at me unless they're acting openly hostile. I just don't think you want only friendship with him, and you're going to end up getting hurt.
BDranger Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Brokenwingz, There are two options here; one is entertain a friendship to see if something can go further, or, to cut things off. I'm not sure if you quite realize it, but, you are looking to rekindle that old flame. You're asking LS to identify what this guy is thinking and how to go about it. We already know you're going to push it, its ok, so did I. You need to determine if this guy is what you want. You can ask LS all day and we are all happy to provide input but you need to do "you". And please, don't listen to negative people - you want positive energy around you. If this dude is what you need then go for it, just know that life ain't perfect.
Tiera D Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 i agree with BD ranger on many things,i suggest you play it cool and weight the pros and cons,currently your situation is quite similar to mine,my 3rd ex recently contacted me again we broke up a year ago..we in LS can only analyse with the facts you provide us.Let me clarify further what BD meant,weight the facts! 1) He has a daughter with the ex = possible loose ends ..could you accept the complications with that? 2) He says he will not reunite with the ex,but im sure he made promises in the relationship while with you which he eventually broke it 3) He could be sincere,but currently my opinion is leaning more towards my original comment about him being unavailable and using it at his time in need 4) i also highly doubt your into being friends with him based on the emotions you projected in your thread,you should consider the possibilities As conclusion,i think you should play it cool now,unless he shows substantial effort ie: try harder in anyway to reconcile friendship or relationship,be sure not to put too high hopes on this one,and reflect his actions,if he is cold,be cold to him as well,if he is warm dont pour your heart out,but open little by little. Heres a phrase for you below Judge a man by his ACTIONS,not by his WORDS TD
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