kyle77 Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 So I would like to start up regular contact with my ex. I have gotten to a place in my life where I can accept that I am not dating her and that she has the right to date anyone she wants. I just want to start some regular contact because that way if in the future we decide to give it another shot, then that is an option. Also I just want it to stop being so awkward between us. I think that might be what bothers me the most. I think it's dumb that we should go from lovers to nothing. I don't expect all of her attention nor do I want it all I am saying is there is no point for this awkwardness. So with that said, how do I make her open up to me? How do I make the conversations friendly and not so awkward? I just talked with her now to try and get rid of some of this awkwardness and well it was weird, it was like we just didn't have anything to say to each other. I got the impression that she wanted to talk she just didn't want to start it or something. Any advice is appreciated. I just want her to talk to me like a friend, and not a forced conversation in any way, just natural.
River Rain Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 You can't really make anyone open up if they don't want to. But if your goal is friendship, all you can do is keep being nice and initiating conversation. If she comes around great. But if she doesn't then you have to figure out if it's really worth your efforts if you goal is reconciliation down the line.
Author kyle77 Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 Its just I dont want to come off as too eager to talk to her. Frankly, I'm not that eager to talk to her its just if I keep trying to initiate these conversations it might give her the wrong idea dont you think?
River Rain Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Its just I dont want to come off as too eager to talk to her. Frankly, I'm not that eager to talk to her its just if I keep trying to initiate these conversations it might give her the wrong idea dont you think? If you're not eager to talk to her, then I'm not sure why you want to initiate contact? What are you worried about i.e. the "wrong idea"? If one person feels awkward, there's nothing the other can do to fix that. She will have to come around if she's willing.
Author kyle77 Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 I guess what I am trying to say is that I have gotten over her to an extent. I am not in that stage where I am going out of my way to find her. I live my own life but when I do see her i would just like to talk to her and have a friendly conversation without sending chills down my spine from awkwardness. What I am worried about is well a little while back i was in that creepy stage where i just would have done anything for her. I dont want to think Im still there or anything. I just worry that if I initiate these conversations she will think I am trying to get her back, where as I am really just saying hi trying to get rid of awkwardness and if it should happen where we do decide to get back together then we will deal with that then.
Mike6466 Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Have you thought about being honest with her? Tell her that u want to make things my so awkward and that might get her to open about the issue and you guys can move forward. Tell her that I feel this is awkward between us but I wanna make it better and if your willing to we can start to be civil
KatZee Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I think you're setting yourself up for a bad time. Were you the one who was dumped? If so, you reaching out for "regular contact" is going to come off as being really desperate. I mean, she essentially told you "you're not good enough for me, I don't want you" and you keep chasing after that. Not only THAT but your intentions aren't even genuine. You're not trying to be her friend at all. You said it yourself. You want the friendship "just in case" at some point down the line she decides to try again with you. The fastest way NOT to have that chance, is to be her friend. You're going to get friend zoned, and you're going to be around to hear ALLLLLL about the new boyfriends, and all the guys she's hooking up with. She's going to come to you for advice... you really want to be around for that? I'd say if she's not really talking to you, it's not because she finds it awkward and b/c she doesn't know what to say to you, it's because she DOESN'T! want to talk to you. 1
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