CaterpillarGirl Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin I believe the bottom line is that women have it SO much f*cking easier in the dating world than guys. Dating, yes. I could find a date pretty quick. But relationships? Personally, I think these are harder to come by. Most guys who "date" you are just looking for a quick hook-up. Maybe there is an expectation that attractive people are just after sex. Who knows?
viciouscancer Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 u obviously are confused. girls just need to sit there and look pritty. guys always approach the girl. girls always get the choice of who they want to be with. guys do all the work in the relationship as well. eternally confused i would like u to explain ur so called list of why its so hard for girls to deal with things like this. u make so sense. girls also are no way near as horny as guys are, girls look for relationships so they can feed off there money, and have a guy do things for them.. the best way to get a girl is through prostitution on the streets. thanx alot, vicious
snilljente Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 I agree....people are always amazed when I say I don't have a boyfriend......why, you are so, bla bla bla....Well, guys approach me.....I have tried approaching guys that I find interesting/attractive and it has been minimally successful....Also, I hear alot that I have alot to offer...i.e. educated, house, bla bla bla....this seems to be intimidating to a man who is maybe less educated, far along career wise.....I HATE THIS.....I am looking at you for the person you are, not your $.....I just want a good guy....and despite the compliments, I seem to only find ones that have some major character flaws.....I'm not that picky! Suggestions......
snilljente Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 I agree....people are always amazed when I say I don't have a boyfriend......why, you are so, bla bla bla....Well, guys approach me.....I have tried approaching guys that I find interesting/attractive and it has been minimally successful....Also, I hear alot that I have alot to offer...i.e. educated, house, bla bla bla....this seems to be intimidating to a man who is maybe less educated, far along career wise.....I HATE THIS.....I am looking at you for the person you are, not your $.....I just want a good guy....and despite the compliments, I seem to only find ones that have some major character flaws.....I'm not that picky! Suggestions......
snilljente Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 By the way, I have yet to find a man who's got a strong libido than mine! So, NO, guys are not always hornier than girls.....
InmannRoshi Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 I'll have a hard time being convinced that sitting back and fielding offers is harder than having to make the initialization and approach, but I'm interested in hearing the argument.
snilljente Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 If they aren't approaching me...I am not fielding offers.....that's my argument and I'm sticking to it!
UCFKevin Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 EternallyCOnfused, all you gotta do is be there. You girls almost NEVER do the work. The guy has to come up to you. The guy has to work his charm. You just sit there and respond. Guys come up to girls. That's the bottom line. Girls barely ever go up to guys, at least with me, so in that respect, guys do all the work, and girls have it easy BIG TIME because they don't have to do a damn thing. See, with guys, it's not like we can go, "I need a date. Hey you! Go out with me!" 'cuz it won't work. But chances are, if you're an attractive girl, if you ask ANY guy, "Hey, you wanna go out?" the guy will say "Sure!"
snilljente Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Ok...I am going to try that...I am just going to walk up to guys and ask them if they want to go out.....We'll see what happens.... '
amerikajin Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 I don't really know if it's that much harder for guys in the dating game -- girls do get burned, too. But at least in terms of the initial stages of the romance, I'd have to agree with the Loveshack legend himself (Kevin) and say that it's the guy that has to take the personal risks. Maybe it's not easy for girls to relate, but to a guy, putting your pride up on the line to ask a girl out on a date is a tough thing to do. There's something somewhere in the back of your mind that thinks slightly less of yourself if you don't succeed in getting the woman you want - even in the most confident of men. What I've learned over time is that I have to accept that some girls just aren't going to be attracted to me and that there's nothing I can do about it. I have to be as confident and comfortable being myself as possible. I may not be able to get a supermodel, but by being relaxed and confident, I'll do much better than I would if I were putting on a performance or trying to be someone I'm not. I've recently found a few things that work for me, and they've really been paying off in the past few months. 1. Always watch for the body language and take it from there. If she smiles, then talk to her; if she talks back, keep talking to her; if you don't have time to get to know her too well, then keep it really short and get her number and call her to set up a time when you can. 2. Keep the conversation positive and, preferably, talk about her. It takes the pressure off of yourself, and it keeps you looking like you're preoccupied with how you come across. 3. When you talk about her, talk about things that make her happy. Talk about her past experiences - past vacations or special accomplishments. Find out within the first hour or so what's important to her, and never forget it. 4. Don't talk about sex and don't try to initiate touching until she's starting to touch you first. Girls are very protective of their space, so don't set foot on that turf unless you've been invited. 5. When dating, don't make it too serious or traditional at first. Keep it light. Keep things open-ended until you get a sense for just how interested she is in you. I'm sure there are more tips, but those are some things that have helped me.
frogprinz29 Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 You threw some good tips out there amerikagin-san. Don't mean to go off tangent on this thread but, got any on getting through the shyness and fear of gettin' shot down?
Papillon Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 Seeing as you use the analogy "being shot down", well, I'll go with that idea. The RAF fighter and bomber pilots of WWII had not only the fear of getting shot down, but of getting killed in the process, something that was extremely likely. (1 in 3!) So every time they had to climb in their planes, they told themselves they they were already dead. That what they were doing was just a dream. So take that approach. If a girl shoots you down, well, you were shot down to begin with, so nothing has changed. But what if she accepts.... Then you get to drop that 2000 pounder right in the bunker...
michaeljones Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 Men dont do some of the work, they do ALL of it!!! Man has to ask the girl out, man has to make all the right moves, man has to be ****ing everything, all the woman has to do is show up. Guys cant win. Its like a pretty but shy girl, guys will always approach her. But a good looking but shy guy, nothing, **** all. At least gay people know how the other thinks!
Papillon Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 Bahaha that was funny! Maybe I'll become gay, just to increase universal understanding. But then again, straight women won't understand me again, in turn. Sigh...you're right. Victory is impossible
frogprinz29 Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 I don't want to generalize. Girls/Women may have prob's with guys approaching them, attracting them, starting the sparks or keeping them goin'. Guys have the same prob's. We are all relating to the same issue here. But, I think Humankind is somewhat just like the animal/insect kingdom. In the animal/insect kingdom, it's the male that has to do the dance, sport the colors, make sure he's got what it takes to provide for her, vie for his mate, or die fighting for her hand...or rights to keep his line goin'. The female just sits there lookin' good and throwin' out her phermones. She gets to decide who she wants to be with. LOL, in the insect world though, the male gets eaten after mating. Guys, let's just be greatful it's not like that in our world. I, personally, admire the wolves. They meet one partner only, and stay with them for life through thick and thin. They protect each other and work together as a true team. Now that's rare in our world. Damn, I really admire those wolves. Hey Pap, thanks for sharin' the RAF fighter and Bomber pilots of WWII idea. You're explanation was enlightening and taken in. How about the Kamikaze pilots...If she's gonna shoot me down then I'll take her out too. Just kiddin'. Lots of you have wonderful, funny, and enlightening sayings or poems at the end of what you say. Hmmm. ~a man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders his beer. ~he notices a man sitting next to him ordering a shot and a beer, and after taking the shot and drinking the beer he looks into his shirt pocket. ~The man orders his shots and beers and ends with the routine of looking into his shirt pocket several times. ~Curiousity gets to him and the first man finally has to ask, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual. Why do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot and beer?" ~the man replies, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I go home."
simplybrill Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 hahahah,,,when she starts lookin good, I go home...too funny
Cupcake Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 I think anyone who wants to date, and doesn't have a date, attractive or unattractive: it's because the effort isn't being made. For all of the really attractive people who are shy, you will have to find ways to get around the shyness. You have to talk and be friendly with people of interest. You don't have to use corney lines. Try simply introducing yourself first. Usually, telling the person why you want to get to know them starts the conversation freely. And if the person isn't receptive, take that as a sign that they aren't interested, and just forget about them. For all of the Unattractive people, you need to have something else going for you like your personality, money, hobbies ect. Personality if veeeery important. Can't be shy. Appearence does matter. So if the physical features aren't working for you, wear nice and stylish clothing. For everyone, keep great hygiene !!!
savethedrama4allama Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 To all of those attractive, lonely people out there: how do you know that you are, indeed, attractive? Maybe you are not so beautiful as you surmise- inside or out.
EC Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 Savethedrama4yrmama I loooove your avatar!!! It made me smile and want a happy meal. lol
fundamental Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 I think the difference between attractive guys and attractive women is that some women are wary of attractive guys. Though she doesn't know the guy personally , she may decide prematurely that the guy is cocky, an @ss***, or a player based on his looks. Although she might flirt with him, she will watch him carefully and will be less likely to ask him out or give him attention--since he (the attractive guy) is getting it from 1000 other women...right?!?!? It's similar to somes guys that see a very attractive woman and believe that she is stuck up or a b**** when she just might be shy. Well, I believe it's about 10 times worse for an attractive guy. fundamental fundamentally sound
simplybrill Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by fundamental Although she might flirt with him, she will watch him carefully and will be less likely to ask him out or give him attention--since he (the attractive guy) is getting it from 1000 other women...right?!?!? I'm not gonna lie, Ive thought this one before about an attractive guy, but that was because he already had 2 girls swooning over him at the time, trying to get his number. Coming from a shy one, YES, the situation does happen where we're just shy, and not at all stuck up or a B**ch like some would think. I know for me personally, if I see a guy I really really like sometimes I cant even form words.
PinkPippaCat Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 All I can add is this... In England I am considered 'ok' - ie, not attractive but not a total dog either - never seem to have major trouble getting male attention when I need it though. Recently returned from living in Finland where I have never felt so completely unattractive! No male attention for months (even when my F88k buddy came to see me). Additionally, lots of expectionally attractive women with lots of ugly men. Now, obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder and friends of mine who came over varied between thinking the girls were 'hot' or that they were 'rough' but I think that cultural expectations and standards play a very big part! While we are all in general agreement about what makes someone classically attractive (models and some celebrities, basic facial and body features), in reality, in terms of people in our own neighbourhoods, we are a lot more open to attractiveness taking many different forms. Of course, there is also the psychologists opinion that we seek people of the same level of attractiveness as ourselves to preserve the gene pool - we know that more attractive people are out of our league and we don't want to lower our status by dating someone who is less attractive than we are hence, attractive people can be as lonely as very ugly people as no-one (except the exceptionally arrogant) would put themselves in the same 'attractiveness' bracket...
BlockHead Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Krang The point is very attractive guys aren't treated as well as very attractive girls.Both are treated better than unattractive guys, and girls. Krang I'm a bit shy, and when i'm talking, i hold back on what to say, so i don't like talking bland-like because i have very poor social skills, through years of being withdrawn, and never had a girlfriend.Mastering the art of BSing is crucial. Women seem to use smalltalk to connect at an emotional level. You also need charm. simplybrill So that may be one common reason why attractive girls dont walk up to the guys as much. Its not that we're sitting around waiting like lazy bums, its just that we dont want to have to deal with the cocky-factor.By having the guys approach you, you get to do the rejecting. viciouscancer girls also are no way near as horny as guys are, girls look for relationships so they can feed off there money, and have a guy do things for them..I was manipulated to an extent. I hope she enjoyed her power trip. UCFKevin EternallyCOnfused, all you gotta do is be there. You girls almost NEVER do the work. The guy has to come up to you. The guy has to work his charm. You just sit there and respond. Guys come up to girls. That's the bottom line. Girls barely ever go up to guys, at least with me, so in that respect, guys do all the work, and girls have it easy BIG TIME because they don't have to do a damn thing.Dance fool! Dance! I dare you to make me laugh! PinkPippaCat Of course, there is also the psychologists opinion that we seek people of the same level of attractiveness as ourselves to preserve the gene pool - we know that more attractive people are out of our league and we don't want to lower our status by dating someone who is less attractive than we are hence, attractive people can be as lonely as very ugly people as no-one (except the exceptionally arrogant) would put themselves in the same 'attractiveness' bracket...There are people who are actually nice and decent people, and there are people who want the appearance of being nice and decent. Maybe the people who are only preoccupied with looks want to live a lie.
HokeyReligions Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by BBB08 How come the most attractive people are always single?...... Does anyone else notice this. When you go to a bar or club, all the good looking girls/guys are alone. I don't get that. Beautiful people don't hang out in bars or clubs. Those places exist for desperate singles who lack the social skills and self-esteem to find and maintain relationships. *JK* I know a lot of very attractive couples. I'm no slouch--at least to some. Everyone is attractive to someone! When I was in college the first time, I went to visit my high-school friend (a guy--but not a romance) at his college and his roommates used to tease him because they considered me a "babe"! LOL (Oh, those were the days!) I was such a flirt back then! We were driving somewhere in Den's car and it was a standard shift. We picked up one of his roommates and there was no room for a third person (well, I could have cleared a spot in the back seat) so I oh so generously got out, let the roomie in, than sat on his lap! My friend Den was laughing and finding every bumpy road he could on the drive back and his poor roomie was so red in the face because he knew that I knew..... Anyway, just because you might not find a couple attractive, doesn't mean that they are unattractive to everyone. They attracted each other! There was a joke going around a while back about fantasizing about beautiful people while having sex. The tag line was: So, who do Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston fantasize about?
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