Pompom Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Weird question? Let me elaborate. Warning: as usual, I am a wordy ADHD case, off my meds already 29 years So I love cute stuff. Cute, and kitsch. I have a nice collection of My little Pony, stuffed animals (mostly little pigs I got from my mom), and Corean Pullip dolls. But also Sylvanian Families, tea light holder angels, and currently saving to get some silk plants as I'm scared any real plants might poison my cats. I love creating stuff like fabric-covered card box hearts, heart-shaped mirrors etc. to decorate the walls with. I have a blue glitter horse with a gigantic penis, a single white wing, a pink bow and a swastika necklace. Oh, and a mortar shell. Basically, I have kept, or, for nostalgia's sake, re-assembled a lot of childhood memories and love arranging them in plain sight. Buuuuuut, sometimes I wonder if I should really invite a guy of interest over. I mean, it's not like those things make me a pervert or anything, but they're not what you normally expect in a 29-year-old's home. I've never been ashamed of my quirks and obsessions, but I'm from a rather poor town where people my age and standing normally only have the necessities plus a few trinkets, and being "all trinket", I do feel a bit awkward about my place which raises questions about my priorities in hard times. I don't want to be viewed as a "better-off", but I simply am, and while I don't brag, I don't see why I shouldn't decorate however I please, but considering a Pullip doll costs $100 on average and the ponies come from Toy'R'Us, I do feel kind of weird about them, for one because it's a dead givaway of how I treat money, and on the other hand, I'm afraid a guy could walk in and upon seeing them, think I'm a little girl who can't be an adult (when it comes to men, sex, relationships etc.). I have a bad feeling about it, too. I've had 3 first dates at my place, only one of them resulting in sex, but that was a sex date from the very beginning and then there was a bottle of bad wine. 2 guys, one of whom I know for a fact was attracted to me, went home without bringing up sex. All my dates that take place elsewhere, result in sex. My bedroom door was closed and they had no reason to fear my bed may be full of cat hair. It can't be my animals smelling, by the way (the two guys leaving without having sex). I asked a reliable friend and she says my place doesn't smell or otherwise put off in terms of pet dirt, and I take great care the **** boxes be out of sight and it smells of either Dettol, or chlorine, or some nice scented candles, oil or incence. I would never let anyone into my place with even a wiff of animal ick. I want people to know that my animals are not a problem. Men, do you think a ton of girl stuff in a grown woman's house is a cockblocker? Women's experiences are welcome too, but I'd really like to hear mens' opinions on it.
ThaWholigan Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Not really. Girls sometimes can be really neeky with that stuff but I think it's cute. There are other extremes I've encountered, but none have bothered me.
EasyHeart Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 You sound adorable. But the stuff you describe doesn't create a sexy vibe; it creates more of a cute vibe. Guys looking to bang a chick are going to be scared off by "cute"; guys looking for a girlfriend are going to like it. 1
gaius Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Nothing wrong with teddy bears or stuffed lions. A lot of guys have been trained not to bring up sex on the first date so don't think too much of it. What does a glitter horse with a giant penis look like? 1
amaysngrace Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I want to know about the blue glitter horse too. 1
somedude81 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Did somebody say (Best clip I could find) 1
Author Pompom Posted November 10, 2012 Author Posted November 10, 2012 You sound adorable. But the stuff you describe doesn't create a sexy vibe; it creates more of a cute vibe. Guys looking to bang a chick are going to be scared off by "cute"; guys looking for a girlfriend are going to like it. I know right That's an interesting theory though, care to elaborate? Nothing wrong with teddy bears or stuffed lions. A lot of guys have been trained not to bring up sex on the first date so don't think too much of it. What does a glitter horse with a giant penis look like? Like so: http://666kb.com/i/c8uietmfv2ybum6ey.jpg It's a work in progress though. Needs lots more nails. First I wanted to make it campy and cute, then when I opened my crafts box (or one of 20), I found a plastic penis straw that I'd found on the Eilat shore once, and thought, hmmm... horse, dick, wings, swastika... I am genius. Thanks for your replies, I'm a bit more at ease now I just love my girl stuff so much, but I don't want it getting in the way of having a life... 1
carhill Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Men, do you think a ton of girl stuff in a grown woman's house is a cockblocker? Historically, pretty normal IME. Women's homes reflect who they are, just like men's. Most of the women I dated, including my exW, had 'girly' homes. It never occurred to me to expect anything in particular and I found some of the stories behind the 'stuff' to be aspects of intimacy building over time.
Taramere Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 (edited) Men, do you think a ton of girl stuff in a grown woman's house is a cockblocker? Women's experiences are welcome too, but I'd really like to hear mens' opinions on it. I'm not a man, but surely it's only a cockblocker if you're wearing a chastity belt decorated with stars, glitter and transfers of Ken and Barbie holding hands. Girly paraphernalia isn't really any different from going into a man's flat and finding lots of boy toys. Whether it's a problem or not is just down to whether the visitor is inclined to make a lot of judgements about things like that. I've got a friend who I'll bet has a lot more girly stuff in his flat than you do. Not only is the place clogged with little china figurines of Victorian ladies, but he has an entire chair filled to overflowing with the kind of glassy eyed dolls that put you in mind of abused, Dickensian orphans. I never mentioned anything about the dolls as it's his flat and up to him how he wants to decorate it. However, one day he was bemoaning a relationship break up and inthe course of it he mentioned that the now ex boyfriend had had a problem with the dolls. Did I think the dolls were creepy? I didn't know what to say. Of course a gang of stoned looking, abused, Dickensian orphans hogging an entire chair in somebody's flat is a bit freaky. I suppose I just assumed he would know that, but was happy to go with it as a mildly unnerving little personal foible he would change for nobody. Edited November 10, 2012 by Taramere 1
january2011 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 OP, if I were your friend, I'd be a little taken aback if I visited your home. But presumably you don't bring this "girliness" into the public space as well, so I would just put it down to your home being your private space and you can decorate it however you wish. I think that people are always going to "judge" you if there's a disconnect between what they think is appropriate and what you think is appropriate. It's a good way to weed out the people you're unlikely to get on with at a more intimate level, whether it's a close friendship or a romantic prospect. There's a saying that, "the people who mind, don't matter and the people who matter, don't mind."
Got it Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I agree with January. As a woman I would find a female friend with that type of decor disarming. And the horse thing is odd. Maybe because I have horses, but the sexualization of it is . . . odd. I would ask the men their thoughts and see what they say. Like another poster said, maybe you are expecting them to move faster than they think is appropriate.
gaius Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I know right Like so: http://666kb.com/i/c8uietmfv2ybum6ey.jpg It's a work in progress though. Needs lots more nails. First I wanted to make it campy and cute, then when I opened my crafts box (or one of 20), I found a plastic penis straw that I'd found on the Eilat shore once, and thought, hmmm... horse, dick, wings, swastika... I am genius. That's pretty cool. I was thinking if the penis was too big the guy might get intimidated but no worries there. My sister loves the warrior books too.
AlexDP Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Weird question? Let me elaborate. Warning: as usual, I am a wordy ADHD case, off my meds already 29 years So I love cute stuff. Cute, and kitsch. I have a nice collection of My little Pony, stuffed animals (mostly little pigs I got from my mom), and Corean Pullip dolls. But also Sylvanian Families, tea light holder angels, and currently saving to get some silk plants as I'm scared any real plants might poison my cats. I love creating stuff like fabric-covered card box hearts, heart-shaped mirrors etc. to decorate the walls with. I have a blue glitter horse with a gigantic penis, a single white wing, a pink bow and a swastika necklace. Oh, and a mortar shell. Basically, I have kept, or, for nostalgia's sake, re-assembled a lot of childhood memories and love arranging them in plain sight. Buuuuuut, sometimes I wonder if I should really invite a guy of interest over. I mean, it's not like those things make me a pervert or anything, but they're not what you normally expect in a 29-year-old's home. I've never been ashamed of my quirks and obsessions, but I'm from a rather poor town where people my age and standing normally only have the necessities plus a few trinkets, and being "all trinket", I do feel a bit awkward about my place which raises questions about my priorities in hard times. I don't want to be viewed as a "better-off", but I simply am, and while I don't brag, I don't see why I shouldn't decorate however I please, but considering a Pullip doll costs $100 on average and the ponies come from Toy'R'Us, I do feel kind of weird about them, for one because it's a dead givaway of how I treat money, and on the other hand, I'm afraid a guy could walk in and upon seeing them, think I'm a little girl who can't be an adult (when it comes to men, sex, relationships etc.). I have a bad feeling about it, too. I've had 3 first dates at my place, only one of them resulting in sex, but that was a sex date from the very beginning and then there was a bottle of bad wine. 2 guys, one of whom I know for a fact was attracted to me, went home without bringing up sex. All my dates that take place elsewhere, result in sex. My bedroom door was closed and they had no reason to fear my bed may be full of cat hair. It can't be my animals smelling, by the way (the two guys leaving without having sex). I asked a reliable friend and she says my place doesn't smell or otherwise put off in terms of pet dirt, and I take great care the **** boxes be out of sight and it smells of either Dettol, or chlorine, or some nice scented candles, oil or incence. I would never let anyone into my place with even a wiff of animal ick. I want people to know that my animals are not a problem. Men, do you think a ton of girl stuff in a grown woman's house is a cockblocker? Women's experiences are welcome too, but I'd really like to hear mens' opinions on it. It's the horse. For us men a horse with a gigantic penis is actually a turn off.
gaius Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 It's the horse. For us men a horse with a gigantic penis is actually a turn off. It's no bigger than my pinky finger. Nothing to be afraid of.
_100x99.thumb.jpg.72b9a6d6ea156e843780fa38a7e38424.jpg)
Recommended Posts