Trisb4u Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Hi my relationship of six and a half years ended. She finished me because we never go out or do anything together (admitted she was to blame aswell) and because we are not as intimate anymore (difficult with her two kids from two previous relationships around aged 13 and 16). She didnt see the relationship going anywhere. She never gave me a chance. As she ended she seemed confused and admitted she didnt know if she was just putting walls up and didnt know whether we should have a break or call it a day crying and hugging me. It ended anyway and i left hers and went home. A couple of days later she gave all my stuff from hers to my friend to give back to me. A day or so after that she text me asking if i would change her phone bill to a paper bill as i paid it for her every month D/D. I text back that she was getting me out of her life quick and why. She said i told you why. I text back good luck with the rest of herlife and i hope she finds what she is looking for. A week later i sent her a letter saying how i felt and what my views were. No responce. Another week passes and i sent her some flowers. No responce. Three days after the flowers i found out that she was sleeping with a mutual friend of ours already (two weeks approx since we split). I hit the roof and text her a load of abuse which is really out of charater for me as i never said anything nasty or evil to her as it is not i my nature but i was hurting. Do you think she will ever contact me again? Ps the guy she is with now isnt over his ex and has a lot of anger problems. He sells cannibis has no job and used to his his ex gf hence why his ex finished him.
blue_jay_bird Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 I know you want her to contact you. But chance's are she won't. I'd send a text apologizing for the ugly things you said. And leave it at that. I don't know how long ago you broke up. I think i read it was a month. EMOTIONS are running high. You can't think clearly. She isn't thinking clearly, hence the sleeping with a idiot. Space and time. I know you don't want to hear this. No one like's to not be proactive in their lives. But the more you do stuff, especially under your emotional state. The more you **** it up. You can't make things worse if you do nothing. Please do nothing. And go NC. The only thing i would recommend is apologizing for your ugly words. Space time, and Heal.
Author Trisb4u Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 The problem is i have been NC for nearly two weeks now and i dont want to reset that. Also another horrible thing i did when i found out was cancel her phone contract as it was still in my name and i would of got in trouble if she didnt pay the bill. stupid me. i keep making a fool out of myself so dont really want to contact her again. Just thought she might one day. Have i showed my true colours. I think she was flirting with my so called mate behind my back. Do you think he only hit his ex because it was her or will he be like that with all women. My ex has two kids there to think about. He does get angry very easily and breaks things all the time like phone and punches whole in walls and stuff. I have no way of contacting her now to make my life easier. i didnt want the ability to text her as now i dont know her new number. She was planning on selling the iphone i bought her to him. that annoyed me. She knew me for years and am hoping she realised how much she hurt me and thats why i lashed out which i would never do normally.
blue_jay_bird Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 The problem is i have been NC for nearly two weeks now and i dont want to reset that. Also another horrible thing i did when i found out was cancel her phone contract as it was still in my name and i would of got in trouble if she didnt pay the bill. stupid me. i keep making a fool out of myself so dont really want to contact her again. Just thought she might one day. Have i showed my true colours. I think she was flirting with my so called mate behind my back. Do you think he only hit his ex because it was her or will he be like that with all women. My ex has two kids there to think about. He does get angry very easily and breaks things all the time like phone and punches whole in walls and stuff. I have no way of contacting her now to make my life easier. i didnt want the ability to text her as now i dont know her new number. She was planning on selling the iphone i bought her to him. that annoyed me. She knew me for years and am hoping she realised how much she hurt me and thats why i lashed out which i would never do normally. Sounds more like you don't want to apologize. I don't blame you. She did some pretty mean stuff. You can email her, mail her a letter. Saying sorry. It's up to you. But i'd try to be the bigger man and leave peacefully.
Author Trisb4u Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 When u say be the bigger man do you mean send a letter apologising? Thanks
Author Trisb4u Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 Your right I don't want to but do people think I should apologise for what i said?
geegirl Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Your right I don't want to but do people think I should apologise for what i said? Understand that endings are never perfect. They're riddled with hurt and pain. So, in you saying what you said, it's understandable that it came from a bad place. I'm sure she knows that too. Motive. I believe it isn't your need to relay a sincere apology but more so your fear that your words may have killed every opportunity for a door to be left open if she wants to come back. If you really are sorry for what you said, do it when you have a better handle of your emotions and when you're in a mentally stronger position to take on whatever the response, or non-response. The other thing, you believe your apology carries meaning because you are in your own emotional bubble. Understand that she is now occupied with another man and most likely doesn't even care about what you think or what you've said. It may have stung her but not enough to keep her affected the way you are. Let it go.
Author Trisb4u Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 I am so confused I said some horrible things. Maybe your right about the door being left open. What would you suggest I do. I don't like hurting people and would normally apologise if I did or said something wrong to anyone. I know she is made up with new guy I get that. I know in the future I will regret what I said even more. I would like her to mate contact me one day
geegirl Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 I am so confused I said some horrible things. Maybe your right about the door being left open. What would you suggest I do. I don't like hurting people and would normally apologise if I did or said something wrong to anyone. I know she is made up with new guy I get that. I know in the future I will regret what I said even more. I would like her to mate contact me one day She is not anyone. She is an ex that you are hurting about so it's not a typical situation whereby if you had to apologize it wouldn't have you running to a forum seeking answers. Stop comparing. You would like her to contact you again, so now you want to make yourself look good in her eyes again. Fact. You can send the email if you want but be prepared for the aftermath in that if you do not get a response, it will send you up the wall. If you do get a response and it isn't the one you want, be prepared to be hurt all over again. Only you can make that choice. If you are truly sorry, send it without the hope of anything back. Then move on.
Author Trisb4u Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 I have some important documents of hers which I was originally gonna bin but need to send them as they are regarding her daughter so I might send a letter wrapped around the document apologising. I don't want a responce straight away definately not. I don't want to hear off her as I need to move on.
Author Trisb4u Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 Or should I just return the documents which would say there is no hard feelings
geegirl Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 That would mean you are returning documents. There is no hidden meaning to her because she is not emotional about it. You are the one that's putting a spin on it. You have two different opinions here. You have to choose for yourself because it seems no matter what anyone says, you're lost in your own uncertainty.
Chi townD Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Well, if she's screwing around with a mutual friend just weeks after ending it with you, it should give you an understanding where you stood in the relationship. So, she's brushing you off, you brush her off. Just place the documents in the post and mail them off. No note, no letter...nothing. Then start moving on with your life.
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