Push_Through_It Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 So brief recap: I was the "nice guy" in the relationship, always careful not to disrupt what we had going because it seemed to be going well. After a few months of dating (where she was the one to push us to be exclusive) she pulls the rug out and goes back to her ex. About 60 days of NC later I get a "nothing" text and after releasing a little frustration on her I still stupidly agree to meet up. We start hanging out again for about a mth, only to have her again pull the rug out again and say she wants to be single. Now, 14 days after she tells me she wants to talk in person and instead of catering to her wish I did what was best for me and said I would only speak to her on the phone (seeing her again would have been trouble). And tonight when we talked I followed my plan to a T She wanted us to remain friends because she "valued our relationship" and would hate to think that she lost me forever. I didnt buy it. I calmly and assertively presented all of my feelings on the issue in a logical way. I told her that while she doesnt currently know what she is looking for in her life, I on the otherhand do. Im looking to build a quality and meaningful life with someone that can challenge me and support me at the same time. And I cant find that person if you are still lingering in my life. I told her that I have already let thought of her prevent me from going on a date this past Sunday and I can't let that happen again. I was very logical in my responses and politely challenged her to disagree with anything that I was saying. She said that she really didnt have any response, so I said "I guess that's all we have to talk about then." I know I may have a setback tomorrow or in the coming days but tonight I feel very proud of myself for sticking to my own wants and not catering to her's and wanting to be the "nice guy" that would do anything to please her. 3
witmadskilllz Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 You did good mate, I wish I was like you during the time of my breakup. I wasn't a man of dignity and had little to no self respect when begging to my ex.
LostOne1 Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 You did good mate, I wish I was like you during the time of my breakup. I wasn't a man of dignity and had little to no self respect when begging to my ex. same here.. I was so stupid. I never listened to anyones advice.. my BU was before I saw this website. I should've just told her okay take your space and moved on myself. Gone out and had fun and said screw it! It's hard because it hurts then, but if someone wants to hurt you.. well we should be happy to move on and know they aren't worth it. Woulda loved to have given my ex her space and had her beg for me a few weeks later to only have me say I am going on a date with someone else and have moved on.
Author Push_Through_It Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 I should've just told her okay take your space and moved on myself. Gone out and had fun and said screw it! It's hard because it hurts then, but if someone wants to hurt you.. well we should be happy to move on and know they aren't worth it. Woulda loved to have given my ex her space and had her beg for me a few weeks later to only have me say I am going on a date with someone else and have moved on. Everything comes with time. My relationship before this I begged and pleaded and did everything but grovel at her feet trying to get her to stay. Then I found this site and a whole bunch of other resources that have helped shape my mindset into what it is today. We have to realize that we are always works in progress and progress takes time. This morning is a little rough, knowing that I will never speak with her again, but I read through all of the bullets I had put on paper before the call and still felt strongly that those are the things I want and those are the things she cannot give to me. SO the only option is to cut it free and start preparing myself for the next person that enters my life. Im sad about losing something I cared about so deeply but happy that Im looking out for my own interests first.
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