boblet Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 So, today I've made 33 days NC... I will admit to creeping his FB, he actually began posting pictures like crazy after I deleted him and changed them to public. Is that to get my attention? Because he's private, never posts, never has his stuff on public, and I do think I bruised his ego by cutting ties and not messaging at all. His ex before me cut all ties with him, and I think I realize now it probably got to him a lot, I don't think he expected me to do the same and I wonder if it would make him bitter rather than realizing I did it to heal myself. How do you guys resist this temptation even after blocking? Don't you just have that burning urge to know sometimes? Anyway, his brother's wedding is coming up in a week... I was wondering if I should message or not, just to send my well wishes. Part of me does not want to come across as immature for not messaging. I wonder if it would hurt the chances of reconciliation one day if it comes across as selfish for not putting my feelings aside. Then again, I'm the dumpee, he hasn't been very nice to me leading up to the break up and after as well, I know part of it is that he feels guilty and lashed out at me because I know it was hurting him as well... but I guess I'll take his word for some of the mean things he's said to me, and he's constantly put the blame on me for the breakup. He still wanted to keep in contact with me post BU and be part of my life, but I could not hold a conversation without hopes that he'd ask to see me and all that, I began ranting and getting out of control a bit which is why I went NC. Anyway, I know if I don't message him, it would be on my mind all day and I think I'd feel a bit guilty for not messaging. If I do message, I'd be disappointed that I initiated contact first being the dumpee, I'd probably be giving him an ego boost and it probably doesn't matter much to him if I don't message (I'm really unsure about this part). Any advice? Anyone have any similar experiences to share, if you messaged for some important event and was glad that you did or regretted it? Also, my bday is coming up a few weeks after the wedding, I was curious to see if he'd message or not, I guess it shouldn't matter but I wonder if he'd message if I don't message about the wedding, since it was so important to him and his family. Honestly, it's killing me not talking to him I miss him so much, we have no mutual friends or anything so I really have no clue about him now, I don't even know if he would reach out to me, I don't know if he misses me it sucks sometimes.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 No. Why would you contact him because his brother is getting married?
Author boblet Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 I know I know, I've thought that, it's just he was talking about that day for so long, even while we were together there was so much preparation etc. and I know how important that day is to him and his family and I thought it would be a nice gesture but it probably isn't that important.. ah maybe I'm searching for ways to break NC
Simon Phoenix Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 I know I know, I've thought that, it's just he was talking about that day for so long, even while we were together there was so much preparation etc. and I know how important that day is to him and his family and I thought it would be a nice gesture but it probably isn't that important.. ah maybe I'm searching for ways to break NC That's obvious, because this is a huge stretch. 1
LostOne1 Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Well if it was me.. I don't know if I'd break NC. But if you really want to wish the brother, why not just text the brother directly? I know I was close with my ex's siblings and text them here and there. I would just text them instead if it was a wedding or something and I was close with them. I wouldn't go through my ex at all. 1
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