NGC1300 Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 I mean, I'm sure the general consensus is yes, but hear me out. If a man starts texting good morning and good night, every day after the first date, is always asking when the next date will be, and talks of exclusivity after the 3rd date, we all know how this comes off. My question is, if a WOMAN does the same thing, does it sound the same alarm bells in the above example? The major reason why my recent breakup has affected me so much, is because the girl acted this exact way, and being somewhat inexperienced with women, I took it all at face value and thought she was crazy about me. Therefore, upon teh termination of the relaionship, I was especially devistated. Regardless, is it just more accepted from women to conduct themselves this way than it is for men?
robaday Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 No straight answer for this mate!! but you have to be very very careful with some women. If shes just really into you!! awesome!!! could be an amazing thing! but my ex for instance - if you hooked up twice shed already start thinking she owned me......jealousy got worse and worse Its great to have that attention though really is, but seriously mate be careful!! Its funny as well, because the minute I showed insecurity to her.......bang she was gone. Sounds daft to say, but insecure women are very hard to date - seems the worse you treat them the more they like you.......start being nice, oh man it all goes wrong!!
veggirl Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 It's common for both to come off as "desperate". Peruse the posts in this forum, I'd say actually that many more women come off that way than men do You would do yourself a world of good to keep things in check at the beginning. If a girl is coming on very strong, you should take a step back. If she is racing into things (asking for exclusivity after 3 dates, constantly texting) then you should wonder why that is--how well do you know someone after THREE dates? You may know stories about them that they have told you but you don't know THEM. Racing into things is often a recipe for disaster.
Author NGC1300 Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 No straight answer for this mate!! but you have to be very very careful with some women. If shes just really into you!! awesome!!! could be an amazing thing! but my ex for instance - if you hooked up twice shed already start thinking she owned me......jealousy got worse and worse Its great to have that attention though really is, but seriously mate be careful!! Its funny as well, because the minute I showed insecurity to her.......bang she was gone. Sounds daft to say, but insecure women are very hard to date - seems the worse you treat them the more they like you.......start being nice, oh man it all goes wrong!! I know exactly what you mean and it's frustrating as hell because it leads me to believe I'll have to withhold affection to keep a girl interested. To me it's counterintuitive, and yet I hear and read this time and time again. I also agree on the attention part. It feel great and you're literally high on it. Then when you discover it wasn't what you thought, you're left reeling.
MrCastle Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 I never felt a woman was "desperate". I've gotten the "crazy" feeling though. The woman will say or do something that makes me feel very uncomfortable about where things are going. I've been stalked before, and that's the kind of stuff I worry about. I worry a woman is gonna fall for me (I don't do relationships) which will cause me to have to break things off, and as a result, she does something irrational.
robaday Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 How on earth do you enforce those boundaries? Like I try and see a new person maybe once a week for first month or two - not much more to try and keep things in check. i dont want someone to take over my life. But its so easy to start seeing them all the time and then after a month wake up and realise your heading down the wedding aisle with someone youve just met. how do you enforce those boundaries?
veggirl Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 How on earth do you enforce those boundaries? Like I try and see a new person maybe once a week for first month or two - not much more to try and keep things in check. i dont want someone to take over my life. But its so easy to start seeing them all the time and then after a month wake up and realise your heading down the wedding aisle with someone youve just met. how do you enforce those boundaries? Really? You don't know how to achieve the middle ground between once a week and every single day? Do you have other friends, other hobbies? I guess you need to CONSCIOUSLY tell yourself "this is lust, these are butterflies, this is not real yet" and force yourself to take it slower. Hang out like 3x per week or something, you don't friggin move a stranger into your apartment and start spending every waking minute with him/her just because they make your tummy flutter. I've never woken up after a month and found myself heading down the aisle, lol.
El Brujo Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Men who are not used to women initiating can interpret such behavior as "desperate". Come to think of it, that's probably how the whole "women should let men initiate" thing got started in the first place.
Spreeley713 Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 She could just be really into you and very excited. I would just go with the flow and see what happens. If I'm into a guy, I like to let him know. I can't say I've texted him every day, but every couple of days and I try to see him at least once or twice a week depending on our work/social schedules. No one's ever accused me of being needy, in fact, I've been accused of the opposite. However, some people are way more excited and open with it when they start dating. The red flags would be if she starts getting super jealous and controlling, wanting to spend every waking moment with you, and getting accusatory if you don't respond back to her text within a few minutes.
verhrzn Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Um, I think women who act in this way are usually labeled as "needy." Desperate, maybe, but needy is more likely.
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Her behavior was desperate. Did you talk to her about it? How was the breakup? Other desperate female behavior: when a woman is OLD and only shows headshots or pics taken from above. That type of woman is desperate. It means she's insecure about her body and believes men will not find her attractive if they see her body pics only. So they use deception to score dates. It's a real desperate move to believe that deceiving a guy like that will work. Do these women really think that a guy will overlook her obesity when they finally meet face to face? And say he does overlook her obesity and ends up having kids with her. Imagine her kid walking up to her one day and asking, "Mommy, how did you meet Daddy?" Mommy: "We were OLD and I only showed headshots and birds-eye-view shots. And I fooled him into having a date with me." Kid: "What did Daddy think when you first met?" Mommy: "He was shocked by the deception because I was a lot bigger than he expected. But he later overlooked my flaws and settled down with me." Kid: "Do you think Daddy would have dated with you if you had showed your body pics?" Mommy: "Most likely not." Kid: "Don't you think it was kind of desperate and showing low self-esteem by doing that?" Mommy: "I think it's time for you to go to bed, sweetie." OP, you may not be OLD-ing right now, but if you do (and you seem like the type who will), there are a lot of women who will try to only show above the head or only headshots and be deceptive. Those are the truly desperate types that should be avoided.
Recommended Posts