lemonlime Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I don't know what to do. I'm a senior in college, and a single mom of a 4 year old. Everything was going great with my kinda ex kinda current bf after me having hid something pretty big from him in July. It seemed like we would be officially back together, having family nights in no time. However, 1 1/2 weeks ago we found out that I'm pregnant, despite having perfect birth control compliance. Now, I feel so lost. I don't know what to do. He shocked me when he told me that if I decided to have it he would help me financially but he didnt want any involvement with our child. Seeing him with my son, and having three years of experience with him I never imagined he'd ever say something like that to me. Every version of the future I have he's in. I've never felt so blind sided or lost in my life. He really wants an abortion but I think he realizes I probably can't do that. I'm trying to be open to adoption, but I think it would be so hard to give up my child. Keeping it and raising two by myself at 24 seems impossible. I dont really have anyone that could help me. Few friends and all my family lives very far away. I don't understand why this happened, and I don't understand why someone that claims they love me would do this to me.
River Rain Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 I don't know what to do. I'm a senior in college, and a single mom of a 4 year old. Everything was going great with my kinda ex kinda current bf after me having hid something pretty big from him in July. It seemed like we would be officially back together, having family nights in no time. However, 1 1/2 weeks ago we found out that I'm pregnant, despite having perfect birth control compliance. Now, I feel so lost. I don't know what to do. He shocked me when he told me that if I decided to have it he would help me financially but he didnt want any involvement with our child. Seeing him with my son, and having three years of experience with him I never imagined he'd ever say something like that to me. Every version of the future I have he's in. I've never felt so blind sided or lost in my life. He really wants an abortion but I think he realizes I probably can't do that. I'm trying to be open to adoption, but I think it would be so hard to give up my child. Keeping it and raising two by myself at 24 seems impossible. I dont really have anyone that could help me. Few friends and all my family lives very far away. I don't understand why this happened, and I don't understand why someone that claims they love me would do this to me. Sometimes there is no answer. People just change and grow all the time. My ex told me he loved me and treasured me last Thursday, then disappeared on me and I never heard from him again. You'll drive yourself nuts trying to figure it out. As for the baby...he said he would contribute financially right? Can you trust him to do that? I can't imagine giving it up for adoption after carrying it. But that might be the best option knowing you don't have any other support. When I was pregnant, I was 26 years old, and I couldn't imagine being able to support one child, the father disappeared on me. She ended up stillborn, but I was looking at a life of welfare and struggle for me and her. But you certainly have time to think about it. You need to weigh the options, and really ensure the guy will be there financially. But even promises can be empty. Sorry you're going through this! *hugs* You're so young to have to struggle like that.
Author lemonlime Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 Thanks. I know he would help financially. He's been in a job for half the income to trade for equity and hes been already trying to find one with his regular salary. I just can't believe he wouldnt even want to see our baby, or me. I'm really in shock. Its so incredibly out of character for him. He's a good guy. Even now I think he loves me. He keeps telling me to make a decision for me and not for him. That he'll support me as best he can. The whole thing just breaks my heart. Part of the issue I have with keeping it is I'm so close to graduation. I need a real job, I can't keep serving. Especially with two kids. But life would be 1000 times harder with two.
Drseussgrrl Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Have the baby and take him to court for child support. You can make this work. He might just be scared and in shock right now, but a lot of times men don't realize the attachment to their baby until they see it.
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