jennifer4 Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 I'm a 40 yr old single mom of 4 and this thread really is interesting to me. Where I live I don't run into a lot of men who judge me based on the fact I have kids. As a previous member stated, I'm not looking for a "dad" for my kids, if a man can't accept the fact that I'm a mom then he's not the one for me. Dating is tough regardless of the circumstances, single mom's may have a harder time, but it's not impossible.
theredpill Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 To be fair in my experience, a loving mother is the best girlfriend you will ever have. Yes, you will have to understand her kids are her priority but when the whole family loves you, and you them... it's beyond amazing! 1
sb129 Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 I'm a 40 yr old single mom of 4 and this thread really is interesting to me. Where I live I don't run into a lot of men who judge me based on the fact I have kids. As a previous member stated, I'm not looking for a "dad" for my kids, if a man can't accept the fact that I'm a mom then he's not the one for me. Dating is tough regardless of the circumstances, single mom's may have a harder time, but it's not impossible. To be fair in my experience, a loving mother is the best girlfriend you will ever have. Yes, you will have to understand her kids are her priority but when the whole family loves you, and you them... it's beyond amazing! I think most single guys in their late 20s and early 30s would struggle to get that. They seem to make up the bulk of the men on this thread who judge single mothers. I'm not sure what they're complaining about though- where I live there are plenty of single child free women in their late 20s and early 30s. Most single mothers I know are in their late 30s and 40s, and they wouldnt be interested in anyone that much younger than them- especially if they had a negative attitude towards their children. 1
theredpill Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Agreed, I'm slightly older than the OP Perhaps my perspective is different as my first long long term relationship was with a woman with a young daughter, 20 years later I'm good friends with her mum and her daughter has grown into a beautiful young lady who contacts me occasionally on facebook to say "Hi" Touches me it does...
Charmy Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 In case you didn't know it, single parents are human beings, they are limited sometimes because they have to care for children,60 years ago, kids went to adoption because the mothers were unwed and or too young to have kids. This created a generation of adults looking for their natural parents on top of all the stuff they had to go through to identify themselves. I was 34 when I had my son, it wasn't a one night stand either, the father left or should I say abandonned both of us when my son was 22 months old. Please do yourself a favor, before you embark on a relationship with a single mum, ask yourself this, do I love here or not? Am I selfish or not? Is it their fault if they landed on their own in the lurch? NO is the anwer, it is not their fault? No is the answer. I met a few uncommited men after the father left but nothing serious, just guys who were afraid of a child who didn't ask for what happened to him or her. I will always chose my child first. If I ever meet someone who is unselfish and willing to share my life because he truly loves me, he will understand. Maybe one day you will have children of your own, remember that women can also leave a relationship and abandon children with the fathers, I know some and the result is the same, we have to look after the children just like your 2 parents looked after you! Are you happy you know your mother? Yes? Good. If you know your father well you are luckier than my son. At least he has me to look after him, he will one day be an adult and meet perhaps, your daughter? Now think deep.
pathetic1999 Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Ok, this is an analogy of why you don't date single moms. Single moms are like old cars with rusted engines. Sure they purr and brrr but if you put the pedal to the metal it breaks. So not worth it. And this is why I don't date douchebags, they make up words and try to string them together to form a sentence to prove a non existent point. 1
dreamerisland Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 And this is why I don't date douchebags, they make up words and try to string them together to form a sentence to prove a non existent point. Lucky for you, I am no douchebag.
suladas Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 The problem I had dating a single mom was she was single for a while and finding a balance between spending time with her kids and me, felt guilty taking time away from the kids because she spent the last few years always with them. And by saying that, you make the guy feel bad like you are taking away the kids mom, and she feels guilty for not spending time with you, it's a tough thing to balance. It is a ton of pressure on someone, especially getting to know more then one person, and having to consider how the kids feel and that they might get attached, etc. Also spending time with the mom and kids together really is quite tough, which I know my ex overlooked. Not sure how to put it, she wasn't looking for someone to replace their dad but almost expected me to be comfortable around the kids right away, and because I wasn't seemed to take it that I didn't like her kids or something. It's not easy for someone who doesn't have kids and hasn't spent a lot of time around them, which I don't think a lot of single parents can understand. 1
yongyong Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 they are more likely to have another kid with a new guy. NO? 2
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