NGC1300 Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Perhaps it's just a sad reflection of our society these days; so many single girls in their mid-20's with kids, often multiple kids. To me, this really is a major turnoff. I want my own kids, and just don't see anything good in dating a woman that's already obligated to some other guys kids. It also means she's going to have less time to spend with you, and build a solid relationship. And yet, the pickings these days just seem so slim. Is there a point where one may have to break down and considering "settling" for a woman with kids? I'm 28, btw. 4
wheream_i Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I feel the same way. And some of those are from different dads! No thanks. It's the same with smokers for me. Girls who smoke clearly outnumber those that don't. I'd rather just be single.
veggirl Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I don't personally have any friends who are single 20s with kids, but I see it a lot at work and stuff. At 28 you def don't have to settle for a single mom if you aren't interested in that. I'm 29 and I won't date guys with kids. 3
suladas Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 I was never for it and never would of asked someone out with kids, but my ex had kids and it grew on me actually. The only bad thing I found was lack of time to spend together because of kids, but also is advantages to depending on the situation. But if you feel like it's settling being with someone who has kids already, then don't because that's not how you should see it. But saying that, being single again I wouldn't date anyone with kids right now.
MrCastle Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Two of my biggest dating rules are 1.) no drugs (yes this includes weed) and 2.) no kids. I don't think that's asking for a lot at all. I don't do drugs, period, and I have no kids. Just looking for myself in female form. 1
Author NGC1300 Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 Two of my biggest dating rules are 1.) no drugs (yes this includes weed) No drugs, you'd have to include alcohol and caffeine as well.... 1
MrCastle Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 No drugs, you'd have to include alcohol and caffeine as well.... Well alcohol on occasion is alright. But I don't drink coffee either. I've had it maybe twice in my whole life
MrCastle Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 What about soft drinks? I don't drink soda. 1
wheream_i Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 How in the world can you not drink soda? You are seriously lying or something is wrong with you... There is absolutely nothing wrong with her. I don't drink sodas either. Big deal. Hell, I don't think I'd date someone who had a soda addiction.
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Perhaps it's just a sad reflection of our society these days; so many single girls in their mid-20's with kids, often multiple kids. To me, this really is a major turnoff. I want my own kids, and just don't see anything good in dating a woman that's already obligated to some other guys kids. It also means she's going to have less time to spend with you, and build a solid relationship. And yet, the pickings these days just seem so slim. Is there a point where one may have to break down and considering "settling" for a woman with kids? I'm 28, btw. Holy crap! I wish I could like this post 100 times. I am 28 as well and I always thought I wanted to stay single til I'm around 40. But man, when I talk to single dudes over 30 about dating sometimes I wanna take an anxiety pill. According to them, dating sucks when you're in your 20s. But dating sucks harder when you're over 30. They tell me it's hard to meet a single women who doesn't fall into one or more of the following category: 1. Personality problems: desperate and lonely or bitter against men. 2. Lives with her parents. 3. Single mother. 4. Whore. 5. Divorced. I'm wondering if I should just leave the country entirely. Maybe it's time to meet new women on new ground. Sad to say but the dating world does not look bright for us single dudes.
Sameold Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 Lol I'm starting to see this at 25. 2 girls I've dated since my LTR broke and both of them were so confusing and clearly have issues.
veggirl Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 Holy crap! I wish I could like this post 100 times. I am 28 as well and I always thought I wanted to stay single til I'm around 40. But man, when I talk to single dudes over 30 about dating sometimes I wanna take an anxiety pill. According to them, dating sucks when you're in your 20s. But dating sucks harder when you're over 30. They tell me it's hard to meet a single women who doesn't fall into one or more of the following category: 1. Personality problems: desperate and lonely or bitter against men. 2. Lives with her parents. 3. Single mother. 4. Whore. 5. Divorced. I'm wondering if I should just leave the country entirely. Maybe it's time to meet new women on new ground. Sad to say but the dating world does not look bright for us single dudes. Why would you want to stay single til you are 40? And at 40 what ages would you be dating? I mean in the age range of a 40 yr old, you really would be surprised to run across a woman with kids?! Or divorced? LOL what??? 2
MrCastle Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 How in the world can you not drink soda? You are seriously lying or something is wrong with you... Soda is extremely unhealthy. Sugar and caffeine? No thanks. I haven't had soda in about 7 years. I drink water, juice, tea, and on occasion, soy milk. 95% of the time it's water. I drink about 10 poland springs a day. 2
Imajerk17 Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 I dated two single moms. I won't do it again. BUT that is due to us being incompatible. I've read the Evo Psych theories that say that single moms are looking for a Nice Guy to help raise the child she knocked out with her Bad Boy partner and for a time I actually believed it. That hasn't been my experience at all. My experience is that many single moms actually have a good sense of fair play when it comes to dating. They are willing to do their share in a relationship. In fact, one single mom I met at work a decade ago. She really was the mature one of us, talking me out of a lot of rash decisions. She also was buying her own house--while I lived in a crappy apartment. In the end she couldn't take my immaturity and reluctance to commit, and she broke up with me. The dangers is that many single moms tend to get serious (to the exclusive level anyway) much faster. The evening she is spending with you might be the one evening a week she gets to spend at her discretion, so if she is giving that up for you, she really likes you. OR she is backwards-rationalizing that she really likes you. For that matter, you are likely the only guy she is seeing. Where can she find the time to see someone else too?
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 Why would you want to stay single til you are 40? And at 40 what ages would you be dating? I mean in the age range of a 40 yr old, you really would be surprised to run across a woman with kids?! Or divorced? LOL what??? I'm not in a hurry to settle down. I think I will be when I turn 40. But if I'm 40 and single, I don't have a problem dating women my own age. Honestly, I never really realized how hard it would be to meet a single 40yr old woman who isn't divorced or a mother til I talked to single older dudes. Call it naive but I certainly thought it wouldn't be as hard to find one as they say it is. I read a lot of news articles that talk about women getting married and having kids later. But from what I hear that's all a bunch of malarky.
suladas Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 I dated two single moms. I won't do it again. BUT that is due to us being incompatible. I've read the Evo Psych theories that say that single moms are looking for a Nice Guy to help raise the child she knocked out with her Bad Boy partner and for a time I actually believed it. That hasn't been my experience at all. My experience is that many single moms actually have a good sense of fair play when it comes to dating. They are willing to do their share in a relationship. In fact, one single mom I met at work a decade ago. She really was the mature one of us, talking me out of a lot of rash decisions. She also was buying her own house--while I lived in a crappy apartment. In the end she couldn't take my immaturity and reluctance to commit, and she broke up with me. The dangers is that many single moms tend to get serious (to the exclusive level anyway) much faster. The evening she is spending with you might be the one evening a week she gets to spend at her discretion, so if she is giving that up for you, she really likes you. OR she is backwards-rationalizing that she really likes you. For that matter, you are likely the only guy she is seeing. Where can she find the time to see someone else too? I dated one and I agree it wasn't the case either. In fact it was the opposite very strong and didn't need anyone for anything, which is actually really good. Lack of free time was huge to, and found any free time was spent together. Exclusive immediately and sex was early to.
runningfar Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 Perhaps it's just a sad reflection of our society these days; so many single girls in their mid-20's with kids, often multiple kids. To me, this really is a major turnoff. I want my own kids, and just don't see anything good in dating a woman that's already obligated to some other guys kids. It also means she's going to have less time to spend with you, and build a solid relationship. And yet, the pickings these days just seem so slim. Is there a point where one may have to break down and considering "settling" for a woman with kids? I'm 28, btw. Please do not "settle" for a woman with kids As the child of a single mom; I had to beg that. My stepdad did not settle, in his mind, he reached and thought of us as a blessing. He is a Man. If you feel like its settling please stay away from single moms and don't hurt her or her kids. 5
Pompom Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 My brother has been together with a mother of 3 (all from different dads, just none from him) for the past 2 years. They are now 2, 6 and 8 if I'm correct. He is thrilled. He adores them. He's happy to have found a family to take care of and he's doing a great job helping her raise the kids. He says he doesn't even truly love her but he's so happy with her - among other things, because of the kids - that he may marry her. 1
sb129 Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 H and I were 32 (him) and 29 (me) when we met. No kids between us then, now we have one together and another one on the way, he's now 38 and I'm 35.
Pompom Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 1. No he is not 2. Israel has nothing to do with it 3. He cannot
Pompom Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 1. I know but you sound like a person too ignorant to engage if you fail to realize the first choice option that I was hinting at the absolute fact that not every person is fertile or able to afford whatever fixes there are for that. 2. Israel still has nothing to do with it, all modern societies have relationships you may disagree with. Also nobody has an obligation to care about a silly old book full of made-up BS. The majority of Israelis is secular. 3. I never even remotely hinted that it was just for the kids, and she's quite happy with her babysitter/shelter/companion. They are both happy with the situation, meaning neither is being a jerk to the other.
natwilliams Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 I once was hit on by a woman in a grocery store with kids. She even gave me her email. It was a little funny because I couldn't tell if she was married or not, wanted to side thing or a new father for her kids. Haha, oh well, I guess it can be okay if you can figure out what you both are looking for. You just gotta communicate about it.
pathetic1999 Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 I once was hit on by a woman in a grocery store with kids. She even gave me her email. It was a little funny because I couldn't tell if she was married or not, wanted to side thing or a new father for her kids. Haha, oh well, I guess it can be okay if you can figure out what you both are looking for. You just gotta communicate about it. This thread frustrates me...as a single mom I have never ever looked for a father for my son. Guess what my son has a dad! I do not need anything from a prospective date except the hope of a partner in life, yes I have a child but I can fully support him financially, I own my own home and like I stated his father is very in his life. I want someone to enrich MY life. 5
dreamerisland Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Ok, this is an analogy of why you don't date single moms. Single moms are like old cars with rusted engines. Sure they purr and brrr but if you put the pedal to the metal it breaks. So not worth it.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Single moms are like old cars with rusted engines. Sure they purr and brrr but if you put the pedal to the metal it breaks. So not worth it. You know what? It's perfectly fine and more than acceptable for a person to not date someone with kids, whether they're male or female. Someone is not doing the family any favors if they feel like they are "settling" for something they don't want. But what you posted is disgusting and ignorant. Lots of us have had single mothers, or have been single mothers, or love someone who is or has been a single mother. They are not like old rusty cars. I'm wondering what you've contributed to the world or to someone else's life in order to render you so judgmental. 4
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