Why did he ask for it?

November 8, 2012

The guy with a gf - the one I decided to move on from because he is unavailable(hopefully most of you already know my story). So I've made a lot of progress trying to get over him. I'm doing so much better now, emotionally.

However, last week, he told me he had been trying to contact me and asked for my number. I've known him for almost two years now and tbh I was a little surprised. All this time he never asked for my number. Why now? I hadn't seen him in 2 months b4 I saw him last week. I wonder if he's asking to make sure I don't go MIA again. Why would he ask now after all this time? I gave him the number but I never asked 4 his. There's a reason why I hadn't asked all this time and it's because I don't want it. He has a gf and I have no business asking for his number.

I thought he thought and felt the same so I'm baffled by his decision to ask for it now. I was hesitant to give it to him because I don't want to find myself hoping to receive a text from him. I felt better b4 not expecting anything from him because I knew he had no means of contacting me. Why did he do this now? I don't understand? B4 I went MIA, we used to see eachother all the time and not once did he ask. Why did he ask now? I don't understand.

November 9, 2012

Because you went MIA and he suddenly realised you weren't easily available any more. It doesn't mean he's fallen for you but he did notice you'd gone and wanted to keep in touch.

November 9, 2012

Lol, that's a ridiculous assumption. Why would I assume he's fallen 4 me when I went out of touch. Doesn't make much sense 4 me to assume that. If anything I was thinking he would have forgotten about me and I was fine with that because I was doing the same thing - trying to forget him. I just don't understand why he had to ask 4 it now.

I've been out of touch many times and he never asked. I just wish he hadn't asked and I'm wondering if I should change number just so I don't find self checking my phone daily 4 a text message from him.

Edited November 9, 2012 by LoverOfDance

November 9, 2012

Anyone else have any other ideas why he asked for it now after almost two years of knowing me? And do you think changing my number is a good idea?

November 9, 2012

Wait, you actually gave him your number? You left that crucial bit out; I only deduced it by your post about changing your number.

Why would you give him your number after you've worked so hard to get over him?

November 9, 2012

I didn't leave it out

"I gave him the number but I never asked for his"

I couldn't say no. He would have known 4 sure that I was avoiding him even though he already kind of knows. This would have been like telling him to his face that I didn't want to talk to him. He's my friend. I couldn't do that.

It would be awkward btw us if I had said to him 'no I'm not giving u my number'. I didn't know what to do. I almost gave him a fake number but then I realized there was no way I could get away with it since we'd be seeing eachother again. Didn't really have a choice but to give it to him.

Edited November 9, 2012 by LoverOfDance

November 9, 2012

Maybe you should ask him...........seems to me he probably was talking to another chick. things didn't work out and he figured he could go come back to you..........[/

He has another chick. He has a gf(long term) and they are still together(she's also my friend so that makes it even more impossible 4 me to even think of coming in btw them).

He actually came straight to me immediately after dance class to ask for it which made me think it was probably something he had already decided he was going to do as opposed to something he had just randomly thought of while we were having a conversation or something.

November 9, 2012

sounds like trouble to me............

Yeah, trouble for me.

November 9, 2012

Either he just considers you a platonic friend or he wants to cheat on his girlfriend. If you didn't still want him, you wouldn't care one way or the other. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

November 9, 2012

Either he just considers you a platonic friend or he wants to cheat on his girlfriend. If you didn't still want him, you wouldn't care one way or the other. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

I wish I did but I have no idea what he's thinking. He can't cheat with me and I think he should know that by now. I've made it very clear to him that I would never do that(not by my words but by my actions). It has to be the first because there's nothing going on between us right now as far as I'm concerned.

I'm not doing anything. No lingering hugs with cheeks touching, nothing. When that first started after I told him 8 months ago that I liked him, I knew it was likely to lead to a kiss so I stopped it. I was and I'm still keeping it completely platonic.

November 9, 2012

I wish I did but I have no idea what he's thinking. He can't cheat with me and I think he should know that by now. I've made it very clear to him that I would never do that(not by my words but by my actions). It has to be the first because there's nothing going on between us right now as far as I'm concerned.

I'm not doing anything. No lingering hugs with cheeks touching, nothing. When that first started after I told him 8 months ago that I liked him, I knew it was likely to lead to a kiss so I stopped it. I was and I'm still keeping it completely platonic.

He's not a moron, he can tel you wanted to and are still interested. You playing hooky for two months just showed him you were going to give a bigger chase so now he had to make one simple gesture just to throw you for a loop...pretty pathetic isn't? the fact that you'll be so easily moved by this I mean

Your actions are showing that you're on the fence but you're still willing, that you aren't strong enough to resist if he puts on the pressure and he doesn't seem to be the aggressive type or ladies man so it'll take him a while to figure out that if he puts enough pressure and taps into your emotions a little bit, you just might throw the little rules out of the window, then he can just make something up about how bad his relationship is with her or how he's thinking about breaking up with her...the normal BS that men feed women when they want to extend them themselves ever so slightly to you because ::gasp:: they can't help it either...how romantic!

Anyway, if you mean serious business and you're not an idiot then just ignore him and stay away from him, now and forever. Or he's going to push the limits and test the waters at some point, the fact that you think you're special over and emotionally moved by this is the biggest tragedy.

November 9, 2012

He's not a moron, he can tel you wanted to and are still interested. You playing hooky for two months just showed him you were going to give a bigger chase so now he had to make one simple gesture just to throw you for a loop...pretty pathetic isn't? the fact that you'll be so easily moved by this I mean

Your actions are showing that you're on the fence but you're still willing, that you aren't strong enough to resist if he puts on the pressure and he doesn't seem to be the aggressive type or ladies man so it'll take him a while to figure out that if he puts enough pressure and taps into your emotions a little bit, you just might throw the little rules out of the window, then he can just make something up about how bad his relationship is with her or how he's thinking about breaking up with her...the normal BS that men feed women when they want to extend them themselves ever so slightly to you because ::gasp:: they can't help it either...how romantic!

Anyway, if you mean serious business and you're not an idiot then just ignore
him and stay away from him, now and forever. Or he's going to push the limits and test the waters at some point, the fact that you think you're special
over and emotionally moved by this is the biggest tragedy.

Willing to do what? I like him and I care about him but I have very strong morals and nothing he does can ever make me throw them out the window. I love our social circle and sometimes I give in to the urge of wanting to see him and our friends but one thing I can never do is kiss him. I would never do anything that may jeopardize/ruin his relationship.

He can sprout wings, fly up to the sky and bring me the stars if he wants and I would still never cheat with him. He can be very immature and he plays silly mind games sometimes but he is a good guy and he is my friend. I don't think he would ever try to make me do something I don't want to do.

November 9, 2012

However, last week, he told me he had been trying to contact me and asked for my number. I've known him for almost two years now and tbh I was a little surprised.

He actually came straight to me immediately after dance class to ask for it

When that first started after I told him 8 months ago that I liked him, I knew it was likely to lead to a kiss so I stopped it.

He can be very immature and he plays silly mind games sometimes but he is a good guy and he is my friend.

Are you all in High school? If so, this is normal.

From personal experiences of my own, I can tell you now that the guy is fond of you. Guys get bored being with any girl, especially, if they feel they have a stronger bond with another girl they know. It doesn't matter if the girl is your best friend or not; he'll like what he likes and if you say you want to go out with him then he may break up with the other girl. Also, he ask for your number because he simply missed you and the time you two shared.

Another thing, believe it or not, but he knows you like him even now after your absence and it's going to become a game of cat and mouse since you're trying to dodge him and hide. Those silly little mind games have double meanings as well. With each game he is getting information about either how far he can go or how low his chances with you are (It may not seem like it, but it is.) It can be a game as simple as: "A or B. Pick one and don't worry about what they mean!" Also, watch for those "hypothetical situations" questions as well. (Example: "Hey... what if I were to break up with my girlfriend?")

Anyway, it's truly up to you on what to do about him because he is not going to leave you alone unless you tell him that you want to keep away from him because of your feelings, your strong morals and that you do not want to hurt your female friend (His girlfriend).

The outcome is up to the guy. He can either:

Respect your feelings and only talk to you every now and then.
Plan to break up with his girlfriend if he feels he has a chance of going out with you. If he does break up for you, do not blame yourself, it was his choice and not yours However, be prepared to not be friends with the female friend if she finds out he broke off things because of you.

November 9, 2012

Are you all in High school? If so, this is normal.

From personal experiences of my own, I can tell you now that the guy is fond of you. Guys get bored being with any girl, especially, if they feel they have a stronger bond with another girl they know. It doesn't matter if the girl is your best friend or not; he'll like what he likes and if you say you want to go out with him then he may break up with the other girl. Also, he ask for your number because he simply missed you and the time you two shared.

Another thing, believe it or not, but he knows you like him even now after your absence and it's going to become a game of cat and mouse since you're trying to dodge him and hide. Those silly little mind games have double meanings as well. With each game he is getting information about either how far he can go or how low his chances with you are (It may not seem like it, but it is.) It can be a game as simple as: "A or B. Pick one and don't worry about what they
mean!" Also, watch for those "hypothetical situations" questions as well. (Example: "Hey... what if I were to break up with my girlfriend?")

Anyway, it's truly up to you on what to do about him because he is not going
to leave you alone unless you tell him that you want to keep away from him
because of your feelings, your strong morals and that you do not want to hurt
your female friend (His girlfriend).

The outcome is up to the guy. He can either:

Respect your feelings and only talk to you every now and then.

Plan to break up with his girlfriend if he feels he has a chance of going out
with you. If he does break up for you, do not blame yourself, it was his choice
and not yours However, be prepared to not be friends with the female friend if
she finds out he broke off things because of you.

We are not in high school. We are actually quite grown up. He's in his late 20s. He's only immature sometimes because well you know, men will always be boys. As far as I'm concerned, he loves that girl. They've been together a really long time. Probably since high school I think. I honestly don't see them ever breaking up and I hope they don't. At least not because of me. He might be a little bored with the relationship I don't know but I know he loves her.

That's why him asking for my number came as a surprise to me. I thought we were on the same page. If he knows me as well as I think he should, he should know that I'll never ask for his number because he is with someone else. I always thought he never asked 4 mine because he too thought it was a bad idea to do that while still in a relationship. Plus there was always something btw us even b4 I told him I liked him which made it even more of a bad idea to ask for it.

November 9, 2012

Anyone else have any comments on this?

November 9, 2012

Why don't you get a boyfriend of your own? I guarantee he will lose interest. Better yet, ask him to fix you up with someone he knows, telling him that you "trust his judgment" not to pick a loser. As a good friend who just wants you to be happy, he'll do that, right?

November 9, 2012

Why don't you get a boyfriend of your own? I guarantee he will lose interest. Better yet, ask him to fix you up with someone he knows, telling him that you "trust his judgment" not to pick a loser. As a good friend who just wants you to be happy, he'll do that, right?

He is not pursuing me as far as I'm concerned so there's no interest to be lost or gained. Like I said, he loves his gf. I just wish someone would tell me why he would do this now.

It doesn't make any sense to me at all. I know why I never asked for his number but now that he's asked for mine, I'm not sure I know why he never asked 4 mine anymore. I feel like I'm missing something and trust me every time I feel this way, I'm always right.

November 9, 2012

And btw, I'm actually dating right now so I'm not after him. What he has with his girl is very special and I have no intention of breaking their happy home. They are not married but you get what I mean.

November 10, 2012

I didn't leave it out

"I gave him the number but I never asked for his"

I couldn't say no. He would have known 4 sure that I was avoiding him even though he already kind of knows. This would have been like telling him to his face that I didn't want to talk to him. He's my friend. I couldn't do that.

It would be awkward btw us if I had said to him 'no I'm not giving u my number'. I didn't know what to do. I almost gave him a fake number but then I realized there was no way I could get away with it since we'd be seeing eachother again. Didn't really have a choice but to give it to him.

This is straight bull$h it. You had a choice you wanted 2 give your number 2 him. Excuses. All you had 2 say was it wouldnt be a great idea because you are involved with someone. He knows you like him & he more than likely has an ulterior motive. & you will have his as soon as he contacts you so you might as well had got his. How does your BF feel about this?

Edited November 10, 2012 by Keke1

November 10, 2012

I just wish someone would tell me why he would do this now.

HE is the only person who knows. Why don't you ask HIM?

November 10, 2012

This is straight bull$h it. You had a choice you wanted 2 give your number 2 him. Excuses. All you had 2 say was it wouldnt be a great idea because you are involved with someone. He knows you like him & he more than likely has an ulterior motive. & you will have his as soon as he contacts you so you might as well had got his. How does your BF feel about this?

Do u realize how awkward it would have been if I had said that? We are friends. We act normal around eachother and we never talk about my feelings(which like I said are not as strong as they used to be). I can't say that to him. He asked me 4 my number as a friend and not as someone who's interested in dating me.

I just know something happened. Something that made him all of a

sudden decide to ask 4 it. It might be that he thinks I've improved in my dancing and is thinking of working with me in the future or it could be something else. I don't know but I know he asked 4 it 4 a reason. I just don't know what it is. And I don't have a bf. I'm dating. I'm not in a relationship.

Edited November 10, 2012 by LoverOfDance

November 10, 2012

HE is the only person who knows. Why don't you ask HIM?

You're right. I was just hoping someone on here who might have gone through something similar might have an idea what his reasons might be for asking for it all of a sudden.

November 10, 2012

Do u realize how awkward it would have been if I had said that? We are friends. We act normal around eachother and we never talk about my feelings(which like I said are not as strong as they used to be). I can't say that to him. He asked me 4 my number as a friend and not as someone who's interested in dating me.

I just know something happened. Something that made him all of a
sudden decide to ask 4 it. It might be that he thinks I've improved in my dancing and is thinking of working with me in the future or it could be something else. I don't know but I know he asked 4 it 4 a reason. I just don't know what it is. And I don't have a bf. I'm dating. I'm not in a relationship.

I dont think it wouldve been awkward. He should have(if it went down like that) respected that decision. Ask him but he probably is going 2 keep you close as a just in case.

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Why did he ask for it?

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