lisa916 Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I dont know where to start but here goes 18 years ago i got involved with a man i thought was my soul mate he was 52 i was 25 big diffrence i know but i thought that meant he would be diffrent any way he was living with a woman and i just knew he was going to leave her for me and he did 11 years later during that time i had a child with him when he moved in with us my child was already 6 years old i thought everything was great only to find out thats when she became his misstress and he was in a relationship with someone else so now there is 3 of us that was in 2006 and i flipped out turned in to a stalker you name it i done and i thought that was behind us this july i found out he is still with both of them i really want out and i know i need counceling and a job only thing now i cant find a job i quite school when i was 14 no education no money he only gives me what he wants to so there is no way to save he has total controll of me and now it is a big problem my son knows everything people come to our house and tell my children people we dont even know one of these woman goes as far as to leave letters in our mailbox last week some one sent a letter cut out like a ransom note and when i showed it to him he said what do you want me to do about it please tell me where to start planning my get away cause if i dont get out soon i will loose my mind sometimes i tell my self he want live forever he is now 70 not in the best of health cant believe i think like this and cant to family or friends cause now i have none
NotCamelot Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 You say he can't live forever. What are your plans for when "the time comes"? If you have plans for that, can you do it now?
Author lisa916 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 i dont have a clue what to do on anything i am really screwed up
CarrieT Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Sorry - you really need to use periods and actual sentences that run-on train-of-thought understandable... 1
Author lisa916 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 sorry carrie i told you i cant read or write that well
NotCamelot Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Do you have any other family? You'd be surprised how family can come around even if they had not been there before.
Author lisa916 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 i have a sister but she lost her husband to cancer a few years ago and she has 5 girls so i ould never bother her she struggles her self
NotCamelot Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Ok, I understand. BUT, she may just be the one person who best can advise you on how to take care of yourself. She certainly has had to learn how. I don't know, but she may take comfort in being able to assist you in some way.
2sunny Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Take him to court and have the judge order support money. Ask the court (given his age) that he hold a life ins policy paid to you when he dies. Call a women's shelter too - got help - they can help educate you and get you working! 6
NotCamelot Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Take him to court and have the judge order support money. Ask the court (given his age) that he hold a life ins policy paid to you when he dies. Call a women's shelter too - got help - they can help educate you and get you working! YES...the ultimate. You should be able to get free or close to free legal help. Check with the Superior Court clerk in your judicial district for advise there. If he fights it, request DNA. Your state DEFACS will probably take over from there. 2
Author lisa916 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 i understand everything you are saying but mentally how do you do this im not mentally strong enough
TexasCountryGirl Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Lisa - You ARE mentally strong enough !!! Sounds like this man has been pretty controlling for a very long time ... and If I had to bet ... I bet he is the one who has planted the seed in your mind that you can not leave or that you are not strong enough !!! you acknowledged that his heath isn't that great ... so think about things logically ... it really doesn't matter if you leave him or if he were to pass away .. one way or another you have to learn to stand on your own two feet! what will you do when he is gone ... either way you must get yourself some help!!! you have no choice ... you have to learn some sort of trade ... you are going to have to get a job! You many not have a college degree or even a full high school education ... but you are not stupid either! You know the basics of using the internet ... you found this forum and learned how to start a thread!!! You can achieve anything that your heart desires ... the tools are out there for you and there are people who will help you ... but you have to genuinely WANT the help !!! I will tell you like my grandmother use to me - The Lord helps those ... who help themselves!!! Meaning you have to be willing to help yourself ... get up ... there are women's shelters all over the place ... even if you don't stay there .. they can give you the information on where to go and get you started on the right track to better yourself, your education, and assistance with being able to find a job! If you are not willing to help yourself ... then there just isn't much anyone can do for you! 2
Author lisa916 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 texascounty girl i know you are right i have applyed for jobs and get turned down i either have no work history or no education i guess that is where i get the feeling of being worthless i truely think im scared of life this is all i have ever know do you think i should get counceling first
Ninja'sHusband Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 (edited) sorry carrie i told you i cant read or write that well Your spelling doesn't seem that bad. Maybe try using some punctuation? Bad punctuation is better than none and at least gives the appearance that you made some effort. It really does make things a lot easier to read, otherwise everything blurs together and the reader's eyes get lost in the mess of words. Sorry if I come off as a total dick here...but just in case you really don't know: Punctuation is stuff like: " . ! ? , Periods(.) go at the end of most sentences. Question marks(?) go at the end of questions. Use (!) if you want it said with excitement! Commas (,) can break up sentences in places where you might take a breath in normal talking. At the beginning of a new sentence, use a capitol letter for the first letter. Also, always capitalize the word "I". Edited November 8, 2012 by Ninja'sHusband
turnera Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Then go online to the webpage for the town you live in. Search for "services" or stuff like that. There will be some sort of city agency that will help you figure out how to leave, how to file for child support, etc. Also try www.unitedway.org.
alexandria35 Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 He's, 70 yrs old and still seeing 3 different women? HolyMoses, Break out the viagra! Did you two ever get married? Is he still married to his ex? If he's still married to her then she might be the one who stands to inherit everything he has should he die unless he's made up a will naming you or his child as the beneficiary. You should be able to find some kind of job. Fast food chains and retail outlets usually aren't that picky about education or experience. If your applying at those places and even they aren't calling you then maybe there is something wrong in the way you are presenting yourself. Don't just drop off applications. Make yourself a resume. There are different styles of resumes you can create in order to highlight your skills and somewhat hide your lack of work history. Look up resume writing on the internet. Ask your cheating bf if he will contribute financially towards any kind of upgrading. You can take courses online if need be. You have to do something because doing nothing is just going to make it worse. Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself or think you are a victim. Actually you got exactly what you planned for. At 25 years old you decided to bank your future on getting a cheating man instead of taking responsibility for yourself and your own life. Now you are feeling the consequences of that decision, but it was your decision afterall. As soon as you are working or upgrading your self esteem will get a boost which will make it easier to keep working towards your goals.
Tara247 Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Lisa, you are with a disgusting, low-life, scummy, vulgar pack of bones! Can you start by going back for your GED? Call the school district in your area and see what you need to do to take the test, and how to study for it. In the meantime, don't let him touch you. You see if he leaves you, he still has to pay for child support, so you will have some money. Go to the dept. of public social services in your area and apply for general assistance (money) and food stamps. If you keep having sex with this vulgar excuse for a human being he might infect you with an STD.
TexasCountryGirl Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 texascounty girl i know you are right i have applyed for jobs and get turned down i either have no work history or no education i guess that is where i get the feeling of being worthless i truely think im scared of life this is all i have ever know do you think i should get counceling first Being scared is a normal reaction. And yes, Counseling is probably a good idea! There are all kinds of resources out there that you can utilize.
turnera Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Tara's right. Don't do anything drastic but DO start doing things that will help you long term. Sign up for the very next GED class and start attending. You won't get anywhere without it. The class will help you learn enough to pass the test. In the meantime, find ways to start earning money by cleaning houses or dog sitting or something like that. Start saving money.
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