Interesting comment on how Womens attraction towards Men works..agree or disagree?

[mesmerized]

Meh maybe for some women. Im very visual and looooove a man's body if its hot and in shape.

[River Rain]

Meh maybe for some women. Im very visual and looooove a man's body if its hot and in shape.

 

I definitely swoon at eye candy, which for me is a guy who has a fit body and a nice face/smile. But deeper levels of attraction are more than just physical.

[Shaun-Dro]

Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive.

 

Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man's life is--how many "cool," "exciting" and prestigious things he is doing or connected to.

 

They are interested in how other people view him--how many people want to be around him, how other people interact with him and whether their interactions convey that he is special and amazing. They want him to be extremely outgoing and aggressive, they want him to demonstrate his status over other people by dominating them in various non-violent ways.

 

A woman's attraction to a man is a function of her jealousy at the thought of another woman having that man. She doesn't care who he actually is or EXACTLY what he looks like physically, she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has constructed around himself.

 

 

This is almost 99% false. I'm just about the opposite ofwhat you describe. I hardly smile, I'm moody and negative at times, thoughrealistically so, and I'm a loner by nature, so explain why women continue to ogleme when I pass them in the streets every day? And I have little problems sleeping with many.

Edited November 9, 2012 by Shaun-Dro
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[mesmerized]

I definitely swoon at eye candy, which for me is a guy who has a fit body and a nice face/smile. But deeper levels of attraction are more than just physical.

 

True, for relationships physical attraction is not enough but still necessary for me.

[ThaWholigan]

Every woman has a type. And it's not the same as other women often.

[River Rain]

True, for relationships physical attraction is not enough but still necessary for me.

 

Me too, I make efforts to stay in shape and keep myself looking as attractive as I can, so I expect the same thing from my SO.

[NYC-BigKat]

Well, looks ARE important, but not in the way you may think. While there are a small number of men who would be universally attractive, most men are attractive to someone. I've said it here before, but I have a friend who is crazy about big lips on a man. For her, that's the #1 thing, physical-wise. Doesn't matter if he's tall, short, fat, skinny... as long as he has sexy big lips.

 

For me, it's about eyes and smile. I can overlook a lot of "flaws" for a guy who has that twinkle in his eyes.

 

I don't notice much about a guy's body. I mean, if he's really muscular, or really fat, or really skinny, I may notice. But that's not the thing that is going to determine my attraction to him.

 

I actually agree with Pierre that what is attractive changes as a woman ages. In my 20s, I liked tall guys with long bangs who were the "shy bad boy" type. Now, I will go for a nice guy with integrity and a smile any day.

 

Uh...what's a shy badboy? I never hear people say that. Can my uncle be a shy babdboy since he dont talk alot & does dodgy stuff sometimes?

[mesmerized]

Me too, I make efforts to stay in shape and keep myself looking as attractive as I can, so I expect the same thing from my SO.

 

I think the sooner men realize women are also visual the better for all of us.That doesn't mean good body alone will get a man a woman. But it increases his chances a looot if he is not socially awkward. I have never known a woman who sees a masculine body and complains, the ones that do, do so because they're intimidated and think they can't get one.

[grkBoy]

I've learned it's not how good you look on paper, but HOW YOU MAKE HER FEEL.

 

You could give a woman a tall, handsome, wealthy man...and then another average-looking joe who isn't wealthy. If average joe though somehow made her feel butterflies in her stomach, sparks, etc...she'll pick him. I've actually seen this happen.

 

That's the only common thing I've seen about women and attraction. Even the ones who value wealth/status over the heart will then feel those sparks and butterflies for rich man's wallet and the idea of her being arm candy with an A-Lister.

 

Personality goes a long way...if you're not making her feel wonderful then good looks and money won't get you as far as you might think.

[mysteryscape]

pteromom looks for the smile and the twinkle in his eye -- sounds like personality to me!

 

Most of the posts here reinforce that women are just less looks/visually oriented than men -- unless the "looks" are associated with some non-physical personality trait.

 

For the record, at some point in my life I decided to beef up my skinny body with time in the gym -- it worked, and improved my romantic life -- I think more because I felt better about myself, than the change in my looks itself. I think most women appreciate some muscle -- not too much, but some -- but a guy's body just isn't nearly as important to women as a female bod is to men.

[carhill]

What marriage taught me is the tenuousness of that attraction. To bookend on GrkBoy's post, I will opine that, indeed, how one makes her 'feel' is paramount; the other factors become more important when life circumstances, whether personal or relational, impact those feelings negatively. In other words, all else being equal, the 'rich', 'handsome', or 'socially popular' man enjoys increased recovery opportunity over the 'average' man. He's less disposable; more useful. IME, pragmatism does enter as part of the equation, supporting, in part, the OP's quoted comment.

 

The other part of that equation is that such a man has more relationship/romantic options and is more likely to discard a woman who has 'changed' feelings for him, whether as a boyfriend or a husband, due to the same personality characteristics which make him 'rich' or 'socially popular'. The very act of unceremonious rejection often impels an emotional 'kick start' to the attraction process, when the man is otherwise viewed as a 'catch'. This is where pragmatism feeds the emotions of attraction.

 

Most of this is gleaned from my own marital experiences as well as being a 'listener' to women for many years and understanding how they view their husbands and marriages. Each person is different but, over time and with repeated exposure, commonalities emerge. I see them as potentials of human behavior; something to understand and accept.

[Sunfire73]

Not entirely true. The value of a man by himself may help in making himself attractive to women, but it still depends on how he treats women, how he makes them feel and has values that are important in a long term relationship (trustworthy, conscientious, integrity...etc) . Physically, he has to be at least acceptable, not really eye-candy, but not bad either. In fact I don't like someone who is really good looking because I know a lot of women would check him out, and I don't want that. He should be at least healthy and pleasing in my eyes.

[verhrzn]

Oh, let's just claim women are hive-minded, group-think beasts and have it done. Women don't have individual tastes or personalities, despite lots and lots of evidence to the contrary, because that would mean they're human and we have to stop degrading them.

 

It never fails to disgust me how desperate some guys are to make all women out to be nothing short of shallow, superficial, whores. Why?

[AD1980]

Every woman has a type. And it's not the same as other women often.

 

I dont see that at all.My good looking friend is attractive to pretty much most women he comes in contact with im attractive to very little so far

 

A good looking dude may not be attractive to every women on the planet but a large majority will agree hes good looking

[ThaWholigan]

I dont see that at all.My good looking friend is attractive to pretty much most women he comes in contact with im attractive to very little so far

 

A good looking dude may not be attractive to every women on the planet but a large majority will agree hes good looking

They will agree he's good looking, sure. But I don't think a majority would sleep with him.

 

You guys exaggerate this so much it's hilarious.

[verhrzn]

They will agree he's good looking, sure. But I don't think a majority would sleep with him.

 

You guys exaggerate this so much it's hilarious.

 

Why? Why is this such a favorite topic among the less-successful? Lack of personal responsibility? Eager to demonize women? What is it?

[ThaWholigan]

Why? Why is this such a favorite topic among the less-successful? Lack of personal responsibility? Eager to demonize women? What is it?

Beats me.

 

I think it's likely what their perception shows them - they see their good looking friends getting all the attention and conclude that women only like looks. Then they see women with men that have money/status/insert other attractive attribute, and then conclude that this is what they want.

 

It's linear thinking, and the belief that attraction SHOULD be logical, when it isn't and never will be - and thus no true desire to understand and adapt according to attraction. Not to change oneself, but to understand that women all have a type, and if you're persistent you can find a woman who puts you in that bracket. Simples.

[AD1980]

They will agree he's good looking, sure. But I don't think a majority would sleep with him.

 

You guys exaggerate this so much it's hilarious.

 

I spent the summer with him renting a summer home every girl i talked to ended up fleeign to him and sleeping with him..Hes also had numerous friends wives come close to crossing the line with him women cant keep their hands off him..

 

I dont think womens tastse in men as a whole are that radically different at all..The only women who say they arent into these tpye of guys dont say it out of not being attracted to them its out of insecurity and the fact they dont think guys like that would give em the time of day.. So they go for safer less attractvie guys they think wont cheat on them..

[AD1980]

Why? Why is this such a favorite topic among the less-successful? Lack of personal responsibility? Eager to demonize women? What is it?

 

This is grand coming from you who thinks all men are pigs who would cheat with a better looking women if they had the opportunity

[verhrzn]

This is grand coming from you who thinks all men are pigs who would cheat with a better looking women if they had the opportunity

 

*Shrugs* I just repeat what you yourselves have told me.

 

Lots and lots of women on this board (even in this thread) point out they don't date for looks, or status. That some of them have dated "ugly" men who they KNEW were ugly but liked em anyway.

 

You guys immediately discount them ("women don't know what they want") and then turn around saying that you HAVE to be physically attracted to someone to be in a relationship, that a woman MUST have curves, that you won't date anyone below a 6, etc.

 

Women on the board continually dispute the premise of these threads. You yourselves reinforce that looks matter first in dating for you.

 

So, many these threads are just projections. You know you'd never date an ugly woman, so automatically assume a woman would never date an ugly man.

[AD1980]

*Shrugs* I just repeat what you yourselves have told me.

 

Lots and lots of women on this board (even in this thread) point out they don't date for looks, or status. That some of them have dated "ugly" men who they KNEW were ugly but liked em anyway.

 

You guys immediately discount them ("women don't know what they want") and then turn around saying that you HAVE to be physically attracted to someone to be in a relationship, that a woman MUST have curves, that you won't date anyone below a 6, etc.

 

 

 

 

You repeat what a chosen few idiots or trolls on here say and ignore the ones who dont fit your agenda

[verhrzn]

You repeat what a chosen few idiots or trolls on here say and ignore the ones who dont fit your agenda

 

Please point out the ones that I'm "ignoring." From what I see, even the good male posters will say "Personality matters... it made me find her more attractive!" AKA, physical attraction still matters. They still won't date a girl they find physically unattractive.... unlike a lot of women, who readily admit their bfs/husbands are not that physically attractive but "something" makes em hot.

[AD1980]

Please point out the ones that I'm "ignoring." From what I see, even the good male posters will say "Personality matters... it made me find her more attractive!" AKA, physical attraction still matters. They still won't date a girl they find physically unattractive.... unlike a lot of women, who readily admit their bfs/husbands are not that physically attractive but "something" makes em hot.

 

I have seen very few men or women on here say looks arent all important to them AT ALL

 

Most people need some sort of physical attraction the few ones who claim they dont are the ones who cant attract anyone..the women that claim theyre husband isnt attractive are probably not that great looking themslves and of equal attraction to their mate..

[ThaWholigan]

I spent the summer with him renting a summer home every girl i talked to ended up fleeign to him and sleeping with him..Hes also had numerous friends wives come close to crossing the line with him women cant keep their hands off him..

 

I dont think womens tastse in men as a whole are that radically different at all..The only women who say they arent into these tpye of guys dont say it out of not being attracted to them its out of insecurity and the fact they dont think guys like that would give em the time of day.. So they go for safer less attractvie guys they think wont cheat on them..

I get what you are saying in this context:

 

If a woman has a type, usually a wide assortment of men would fit into it (not many, but they will all be different in some manner). If there was an average looking man in that type, she would date him. However, if he was standing next to a man who also happens to be her type, but better looking, she will choose the better looking dude.

 

I've noticed that guys who are good with women - both good looking guys and ugly guys and everything inbetween - are exceptionally good at both making themselves more attractive, and picking which women are going to be more receptive to them. This is a big factor that other guys miss out on - that ability to differentiate. It's the difference between lots of rejections and a few.

 

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The place where I disagree with you and a few other guys is that you think that women only have one type, and that is good looking, tall etc etc. You guys need to observe and talk to more women, because I suspect your social circles are fairly limited if all women are the same.

[verhrzn]

I have seen very few men or women on here say looks arent all important to them AT ALL

 

Most people need some sort of physical attraction the few ones who claim they dont are the ones who cant attract anyone..the women that claim theyre husband isnt attractive are probably not that great looking themslves and of equal attraction to their mate..

 

You are missing the point, just like you've been missing the point of what all the female posters have said in this thread.

 

Women are weird. They don't approach attraction in the same way as men. It's like GrkBoy says.... women are attracted based on how a man makes them feel, "chemistry," "sparks." I HATE blonde guys.... it's an automatic turn-off... and yet I've dated two of them because despite continuing to not like their blondness, the attraction and chemistry with them still made me attracted to them.

 

Women seem to be able to hold this opposing viewpoint in their brains a lot easier "He is less attractive but I like him anyway." Men seem unable to do this... if they like a girl, they may ignore/not notice her flaws, but they aren't able to think she is unattractive AND attractive at the same time.