No physical contact with MM until over 2 years--now stronger bond?

[mj108]

I posted on this site twice about my MM. Short story: I met him in April 2002. He was seperated. We started seeing eachother (kissing, holding hands...no sex!). He went back to his wife beginning of January 2003. He's always been honest with me and he called me and told me he was going back to her.

 

I introduce my sister to his brother in 2002...well, they got together...so me and MM bumped into eachother all the time. Couldn't get over him. In my head, my dreams, my heart. He told me that he had to go back cause of the kids and that she had changed (she was on drugs).

 

In March 2003...I met a guy. Tried to go on with life without MM still MM in my head, heart, & dreams while I was with this other person. Had a relationship with this other guy until January 2004, this year. Him and I split up. Meanwhile, MM wife started back on drugs....MM seperated from her again.

 

Him and I met up again. Considering...my sister married his brother. They got married this year. I've always tried to get over him. It's been over 2 years now. Him and I have had discussions about his feelings and mine. His wife is on hard core drugs right now & he's trying to get the kids. Never had any physical relationship with him until a little over a month ago. Now it's brought us close together but him and I both have had discussions...that it's WRONG. I don't know what to do now because him and I are still hanging out--talking & sharing each day and we're still also having the physical relationship...and I don't know what to do. His kids have been around me...and I adore them as well. But him and I agreed that we can't be together until his divorce but then we eventually end up in eachothers arms once again! I've never felt this way toward anyone before. The feelings are so strong and since him and I did take things slow at the beginning...now it's much deeper. I have more guilt now since I gave in to the physical relationship. So, do you think I should shun him away...or take it day by day...or just be a friend to him and nothing more?

 

I don't know what to do anymore. I do want to be with him but this guilt is tearing me apart and he has told me that he feels the same way but then we see eachother-----and we can't let go.

[1Yoyo]

Originally posted by mj108

I I don't know what to do now because him and I are still hanging out--talking & sharing each day and we're still also having the physical relationship...and I don't know what to do. His kids have been around me...and I adore them as well. But him and I agreed that we can't be together until his divorce but then we eventually end up in each others arms once again! I've never felt this way toward anyone before. The feelings are so strong and since him and I did take things slow at the beginning...now it's much deeper. I have more guilt now since I gave in to the physical relationship. So, do you think I should shun him away...or take it day by day...or just be a friend to him and nothing more?

 

I don't know what to do anymore. I do want to be with him but this guilt is tearing me apart and he has told me that he feels the same way but then we see eachother-----and we can't let go.

 

 

 

Almost same boat...

 

I met my MM in 2000, after a few dates I felt too guilty to see him or do anything other than communicate via e-mail and an occasional chat or talk and MANY canceled dates. I decided in 2002, not to see him anymore and communicate less. He sent me e-mails and called every now and then, he didn't give up. I had pretty much given up on anything with him. Staying away worked for those two years, but I decided this past December, to meet him and see what happens. My biggest fear was that I would fall in love with him..I did. So did he, with me. He is a wonderful man committed to raising his kids. I am not asking that he leave his wife, I would just like more time with him. I don't want to ruin the life that he has with his children, though he is in a loveless marriage.

 

I would take 10 lonely nights to spend two nights in his arms. If I wait for him, it will take five years to get him! LOL All my eggs will be dead. (I have no children at this point) If I thought he and his wife had a chance, I KNOW I would walk away. I too have tried to date, he encourages me to get out, though he would prefer that it be with my girlfriends and not some new man! He puts no demands on me, quite the opposite. He wants me to be happy and OK with the way things are and patient. He wants me to do what is best for me. Easier said then done.

 

I still feel guilty, though I feel it less. I know he loves me, I don't question it. We are very open and honest with each other. Sometimes hearing about his life, without me hurts like HELL. Its hard to smile and act like things are OK, when I in fact I wish sometimes that I were the wife and that he comes home to me almost every night. But, she doesn't have the love of this man as I do. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

 

Go with your heart and do what is best for you. You will know when to say when!

 

I do wish you the best.

 

Yo