mammasita Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Cliff notes: BF moved out of my house but is adamant about staying in a committed relationship. I was shocked but love him. I was emotional and didn't know what I wanted to do. We didn't talk for 2 weeks (my choice) so I could get my emotions under control. I told him he should see others during that time because I was going to. He insisted that he only wants me and wouldn't see anyone else. I didn't see anyone, but did join OLD to see if there was something out there for me. Here I am today, I love my BF and am willing to give him the time and space he feels he needs, but at the same time I'm insecure about our relationship, and I think its understandable that I am. I know everyone will say that there is someone else and he's keeping me as a back up, but I'm close friends with his sister and through her, I know there is nobody else he's interested in or trying to sleep with. She would be 150% honest with me if there were.
Author mammasita Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 What exactly prompted him to move out? I highly doubt he's got someone else on the line or even interested in that at the moment. Contrary to much of what we see here, the majority of adults who are in relationships that are rocky (for reasons other than infidelity) don't just go off and start diddling someone else the moment they decide to take a break. I've just been through a really rough month with the ex(?...actually I don't think that's quite what he is, but god knows what label fits right now..) and, as I said in another thread it didn't occur to either of us to get busy with anyone else during the few weeks we didn't see each other. Admittedly, I could be wrong about his end of things, but based on his physical response when we did see each other and the conversations we had over the couple days he was here, I don't think he had the time or interest. I suspect the same is probably true in your case. Having addressed the likelihood of another woman, what exactly is it you're feeling insecure about? He moved out because he felt like he needed to be able to take care of himself. He has never lived on his own, has always moved in with the person he was seeing and to add insult to injury we moved in together very fast (2 months). He says that he needs to know that he can do things on his own and not have to rely on me or anyone else. He also didn't feel like my place was "his" because I bought it way before he and I got together. He felt even if we did get a place in both our names he would just be along for the ride because I would pick up most of the financial burden. Throughout all of this though, he maintains that he is committed to me and wants to be with me. The funny part is, I can understand his perspective and I respect that he feels this way and wants to better himself. I'm supportive because if we make it through this, I will know without a doubt that he wants to be with me because of me and not because I make more money than he does. So the insecure part, I'm insecure because of the change in the dynamics of our relationship. From being with one another 24/7 to weekends and maybe one night a week. I'm insecure because I keep thinking what if in 1 year he decides that he really doesn't want to be with me. Then I'll be kicking myself in the ass for wasting another year on top of the almost 2 years we lived together. I'm just confused and I really don't trust myself (which could be another source of my insecurity). I'm finding myself thinking about the potential of another man out there for me where the thought NEVER crossed my mind before this all went down last month.
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