Midna Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 It's a long story but I started dating this guy (let's call him jay) a couple of years ago, with in one week he had cheated on me with a girl with the same first name as me :/.... He went back and forth between us both for ages, I loved him and always took him back.... She would lie and say she was pregnant every time they broke up, I counted at least 30! 0.0 yet it was always her he wanted more than me, I tried everything to make myself look better etc so he would be less likely to stray. I was invited round a friends house whilst me and jay were meant to be together (he had been ignoring me for no reason all day) and he was asleep on the sofa with her.... And left without even looking at me, I am quite shy and never really like arguments so I would just retreat from the situation... This went on for months, til eventually he moved away and lived with her for a few years, once a year or so, he would make a new fb to talk to me, but I wouldn't give him the time of day.... One time, his friend got drunk and rang me and jay was drunk with him, he was still with this other girl but he told me he loved me for the first time (I had told him it plenty of times for years) I told him to make it work with this girl and I always did tell him that but they broke up (what I thought was for good) at the beginning of this year and I decided to give him another chance.... Within a few months, he had kissed another girl... Then slept with her, after we had argued and split but then sorted it that night (he slept with her in the morning) sent explicit sex texts to his ex and lied to me about it... Broke up with me and slept with her again and told her he loved her.... But I still kept taking him back. Now hers my dilemma, I rang him (we were still together) on his birthday and he was drunk, he put me on the phone to this other guy whilst he was doing something, the guy was called (Harry...lets say) I had never met him, or spoke to him before.... I didn't think anything of it... We split up again last week, he has already been on a date with someone, slept with said person and reconnected with his ex.... Now this Harry is the best friend to one of Jays best friends who is also my friend, and I went for a drink with a group of random people.... He just happened to be there and we got along really well I really like him and I think he feels the same, he's not one of jays close friends.... Only met him a few times, AND he was married to a girl I got on well with in school (haven't spoke to her in 5ish years) but they are since divorced. Am I right to pursue a relationship with this guy.... We have so much in common, more than Jay and I ever had and I get butterflies and could really see us getting on great, or is he off-limits? Sorry for the long post XD
Arabella Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 After how Jay treated you ... I wouldn't take into consideration his feelings on this issue AT ALL. He doesn't care about you. If you like Harry and the feeling is mutual, go for it girl! Good luck, -A
Janesays Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Go for it. Jay has don't absolutely NOTHING to earn your loyalty or discretion. New guy is fair game and probably the best thing for you right now.
Author Midna Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 I guess so I just hate causing awkwardness... But yeah you guys are right. Jay treated me really badly, so I don't owe him anything, I don't care about upsetting him, it's more like I don't want to be known as "that girl"... Especially as how its only been a week since me and Jay broke up.... And I can already hear the rumours flying if Jay found out we were getting close... But thanks! I'm going to go for it! Cheers guys ^____^ xxxxx
dasein Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Any options that will allow you to forget this Jay and get on with your life are options to consider. You owe Jay nothing. Jay has proven over and over that he doesn't value and respect you, just likes to keep you on the backburner. Good luck.
DC4 Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Does Jay have some sort of magical penis?? Also, go for Harry!
Author Midna Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 But I am going to end up seeing him more if I go out with Harry, but then maybe him seeing me happy and not hopelessly in love with him anymore might boost my confidence again and will be a small piece of much-needed closure and revenge... I dunno, just don't want him lying or trying to make me out to be something I'm not, in order to ruin my hopefully soon to be new-relationship xxxx
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