What is WITH these people who..

[El Brujo]

I cannot believe the prevalence of men who sleep with women who they do not respect or even like as people.

 

I understanding sticking your penis into a women does not necessarily mean you are into her, but PLEASE: how can you do it with women you do not even LIKE (as fellow human beings), or give a crap about!?!

 

Near as I can tell, it's about feeding one's addiction. Such men might not actually be getting pleasure from sex; they just need to do it to keep the DT's away.

 

And women! Why the hell do you sleep with men who do not respect you, or even like you enough to want to be FRIENDS with you!!?!?!

 

I think that men with DIGNITY and self respect, tend to treat other people with respect too.

 

Female sex addicts are much more likely to keep sex addiction in the closet... but I suspect many women just do it so the poor, horny guy will stop begging and whining for his fix for at least five minutes.

 

Unless you're in the Mafia, respect has nothing to do with it.

 

I find it sick.

 

Rant over.

 

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say I find it sick... I mean, being straight but openly asexual, the worst I can say is that I'll never really understand such behavior, just like I'll never understand why any man who's found the woman who's right for him would want to cheat on her.

 

But then again, I've lived on this planet for 45 years, and I still haven't been able to figure you humans out.

[Leigh 87]

The ONLY time I ever hooked up a lot with men who had no respect for me, was when I was an extremely unattractive, overweight, pimple teenager, with nothing going for me in terms of personality or academic prowless (seeing as I NEVER applied myself in school, despite getting A's in everything I put my mind to)

 

I really had nothing going for me back then, from ages 15 - 17.

 

That is why I was horny and decidd to let any man who wanted to touch me, touch me. They did not have to earn my respect. My body was not good enough to be picky.

 

I am not deaply scared from this, as you can tell from the fact I let my OWN partner sleep with hookers when we first got together.

 

 

Letting any man stick his dick in your is emotionally scraring on some level, even if you do not consciously realise it, as a women.

[Leigh 87]

Everything you guys say makes sense, but really, it comes down to two things for me:

 

- the person has little or no options, and settles for people they are attracted enough to bang, even if they HATE that person

 

- the person is simply a nasty person and too weak to control their sexual urges, and enjoy having sex with folkes they dislike as person (after all, why wait to have sex from a person you actually have respect for and LIKE?)

 

I am not perfect, but I just feel I have better morels than do let any strange man stick his dick in me!

 

I mean... what happened to getting to know a guy first? Gaining their respect? LOL....

[TaurusTerp]

Everything you guys say makes sense, but really, it comes down to two things for me:

 

- the person has little or no options, and settles for people they are attracted enough to bang, even if they HATE that person

 

- the person is simply a nasty person and too weak to control their sexual urges, and enjoy having sex with folkes they dislike as person (after all, why wait to have sex from a person you actually have respect for and LIKE?)

 

I am not perfect, but I just feel I have better morels than do let any strange man stick his dick in me!

 

I mean... what happened to getting to know a guy first? Gaining their respect? LOL....

 

Maybe you should look at your underlying beliefs...what does sex have to do with morals? Give me a reasoned out argument please, not a knee-jerk "it's wrong" that you learned in sunday school. Understanding that might help you understand why people do what they do.

 

 

 

 

Also, as an aside, a great girl is a great girl regardless of circumstances of sex. If a girl is interesting, attractive, and has long term potential, early sex isn't going to scare a mature, secure MAN away.

 

If you have a crap personality, no amount of sex is going to get a quality guy to stay long term (not addressing this statement to you Leigh).

[Leigh 87]

Maybe you should look at your underlying beliefs...what does sex have to do with morals? Give me a reasoned out argument please, not a knee-jerk "it's wrong" that you learned in sunday school. Understanding that might help you understand why people do what they do.

 

 

 

 

Also, as an aside, a great girl is a great girl regardless of circumstances of sex. If a girl is interesting, attractive, and has long term potential, early sex isn't going to scare a mature, secure MAN away.

 

If you have a crap personality, no amount of sex is going to get a quality guy to stay long term (not addressing this statement to you Leigh).

 

 

 

 

 

Absolutely, some women, as much as they deserve to be treated with respect, are simply not all that interesting or remarkable to others. Including men.

 

Some women really do have lack lustre personalities, and are also unattractive to most men.

 

What options do they have?

 

Well, I know many unattractive ladies in very loving relationships, with men who really adore and respect them.

 

They probably worked on themselves and their careers and focused on being a good person, and did not settle for one night stands with men who did not like them even a little.

 

They obviously need to look into ways of expanding on their personality, if they are attractive and yet not getting ANY guy to take an interest.

 

If they are not attractive AND also have a crappy personality, then learing to enjoy being active, in addition to improving their diet, is another step they could take.

[Leigh 87]

Either way, it would be nice if more men could simply treat all women with respect.

 

To hook up without wanting more, but to at least be nice, yet firm about their desires.

 

A simple " hey, I had a good time, but have no need to pursue this situation further, as I am now with a girl"

 

It is a lie, but sometimes nice than saying "hey, I am not attracted to you and had sex because I was desperate"

 

Or just ignoring them or treating them like crap.

 

Many men lack common decency and emotional intelligence these days.

 

So, you get desperate and horny, and want to bang a chick your not attracted to much, and who you do not think all that highly of.

 

.... You would just text " Hey, had a great time, but I am back with my ex, please dont take it personally that I cannot continue with our situation!"

[TaurusTerp]

Absolutely, some women, as much as they deserve to be treated with respect, are simply not all that interesting or remarkable to others. Including men.

 

Some women really do have lack lustre personalities, and are also unattractive to most men.

 

What options do they have?

 

Well, I know many unattractive ladies in very loving relationships, with men who really adore and respect them.

 

They probably worked on themselves and their careers and focused on being a good person, and did not settle for one night stands with men who did not like them even a little.

 

They obviously need to look into ways of expanding on their personality, if they are attractive and yet not getting ANY guy to take an interest.

 

If they are not attractive AND also have a crappy personality, then learing to enjoy being active, in addition to improving their diet, is another step they could take.

 

Totally agree.

 

Either way, it would be nice if more men could simply treat all women with respect.

 

To hook up without wanting more, but to at least be nice, yet firm about their desires.

 

A simple " hey, I had a good time, but have no need to pursue this situation further, as I am now with a girl"

 

It is a lie, but sometimes nice than saying "hey, I am not attracted to you and had sex because I was desperate"

 

Or just ignoring them or treating them like crap.

 

Many men lack common decency and emotional intelligence these days.

 

So, you get desperate and horny, and want to bang a chick your not attracted to much, and who you do not think all that highly of.

 

.... You would just text " Hey, had a great time, but I am back with my ex, please dont take it personally that I cannot continue with our situation!"

 

Perhaps we have different opinions of what "respect" is...I think I would find it really disrespectful for someone to treat me like a fragile child. Women are strong people (or should learn to be if not), and lying to them isn't really respectful. And feeds into people's (not women, men too) delusions that they are "unlucky" or whatever.

 

And again, I just want to emphasize - respect and sex are not related for a lot of guys. I can have sex with a girl and respect will never come into the picture.

 

Dating, of course, is related to respect.

[The dot]

I mean, if you consider yourself to be a nice person, who has enough options in terms of sex and dating, then WHY not just jerk yoursef off until you come across women who you either:

 

- like and respect enough to be friends with, BEFORE casually hooking up

 

-or, wait until you find a girl your into enough to actually date.

 

Either way, that the hell is with guys hooking up with a girl that they would not even want to give the time of day to normally?

 

I find it sick.

 

Rant over.

 

Well, sometimes the person we respect isn't the person we find physically attractive. The woman who is great in bed is rarely the woman who is highly intelligent, so I prefer to simply appreciate each individual for the qualities they do offer. As a man who lives alone (and does so very happily), I find it easier to simply go out into the great big shopping mall of life, and when I want sex I go to that provider, when I want intelligent conversation I go to that provider, when I want laughs, I go to that provider.

 

Last night, for example, I went to a concert with two women I don't find at all attractive and have no intention of sleeping with, but they were great company. Later in the week, I may go and f--- a woman who I wouldn't otherwise be able to stand being around, but who gets the job done in bed.

 

Sure, it would be great to meet one person who ticks all the boxes, but as those people are extremely rare (if they exist at all), why bother depriving myself of great experiences, or trying to put a square peg into a round hole? Would you do all your shopping for the week at ONE store? I doubt it.

[Leigh 87]

Man, is it REALLY that hard to find women that are attractive to you, and that you can ALSO stand to be around?

 

Sheesh. What a bout an average/cute girl like me, who is not the hottest, yet is pleasant, positive and fun to be around? Not smart but not dumb.

 

Maybe mens standards are too high...? They try to find an 8, 9 or a perfect ten look wise; then when most the super hot women with amazing personaities are obviously TAKEN, they think " well, I either have to settle for a women who I am not that attracted to but is an amazing girl, OR a 8/10 who is a bimbo"

 

I am not the best looking women, yet I would never stand to be around a guy who cannot stand to be around me! Let alone SLEEP with him hahaa!

[Leigh 87]

Is it wrong for me to try an find a 10 in my eyes? According to Leigh it is.

 

 

I never said that.

 

I just said that it is very rare to easily find perfect tens, that also have an awesome personality, and have good jobs/are intelligent.

 

When is the last time you had a night out, and scored with a supermodel (perfect ten= supermodel) who is also a scientist, and a wonderful person to be around?

 

If you do this often, then good on you! Really! You must be quiet a catch!

 

For most men, they all the super hot and super smart women with great personalities are TAKEN or off limits to them.

 

SO, they settle for girls they; dislike and are hot, OR girls that they really like but are not all THAT attracted to.

 

 

 

 

 

That is the conclusion as to WHY some men hook up with girls they do not like or respect; they cannot get he whole package, so they pick looks/no personality, over great personality/average looks.

[Leigh 87]

HAHah.

 

I did not literally mean a scientist; I basically meant, it is very hard to find a girl who is universally attractive to the extent of 10/10 in most peoples eyes, who also is highly intelligent, and also has a great personality.

 

And the point of this thread is to discuss: why men settle for girls they do not care about or like.

 

Would you sleep with a girl you could not stand to be around just because she was hot? Or would you rather wait for a girl who is a little less attractive, but you are really into and actually respect?

 

 

See - most men have to look for a girl that is a little less attractive who has a great personality, than to wait around for a girl with perfect looks AND the best personality for them.

 

HENCE: they bang chicks who are super hot but lack personalities. As the chicks with BOTH are taken or too hard for them to get.

[Leigh 87]

I guess it troubles me when guys act friendly enough to keep a girl interested, in order to obtain more sex, when he does not even care about them.

You know the drill - a the girl that gets treated like cr@p by a dude she likes, when she guy REALLY acts like he does not care about her, or even like her!

 

I guess in an ideal world, men would not have to resort to having sex with women who they do not even LIKE as people.

 

.......But it looks like hot girls who are also great people are hard to come by, hence why men settle for girls they dislike; they are hot, and better than sex from a girl they are not attracted to but is a nice girl.

[ascendotum]

Leigh, are you talking more in terms of a STR or a phoney FWB rather than just a ONS in this regard?

[dasein]

Women choose sex, but sex is something that happens to men. Someone who doesn't know where their next meal is coming from might just reach down and grab that half eaten corndog in the gutter. A person who gets offered decent free food all day won't. It's that simple, and not a malicious thing.

[Leigh 87]

God damn...

 

I hope I never have so few options that I HAVE to either: have sex with men who dislike me, or masturbate for years at a time.

[Nik1]

It's just that women have all the room in the world to be picky, it's not so much the same for most guys. We'll take what we can get.

[charlietheginger]

I wont shove my penis in any vagina

The consequencs could ruin my life

 

Biggest concern is if a women gets pregnant

Wants to keep the kid.....

 

If she was someone i liked and got along with

Thats fine..

 

What she was some cumdump sludgebucket

From a bar... She could make the next 18yrs

of my life miserable ...

 

So i atleast have to click with the chick

And make sure i like her becuase i could

Very well be attached to her for 18yrs

[mickleb]

that half eaten corndog in the gutter

 

Why do I feel sorry for this person

 

some cumdump sludgebucket

 

but not this one?

[Taramere]

I cannot believe the prevalence of men who sleep with women who they do not respect or even like as people.

 

I understanding sticking your penis into a women does not necessarily mean you are into her, but PLEASE: how can you do it with women you do not even LIKE (as fellow human beings), or give a crap about!?!

 

You've heard of the term "hate f*ck" right? For some men, actively disliking a woman is going to increase their desire to have sex with her to "put her in her place". If a man regularly thinks in those terms, and consumes a lot of the kind of porn that encourages the association between dislike/contempt and sex, then a woman he actively dislikes might even be his preferred choice of a sexual partner. Especially if he's ambiguous about sex - ie craves it but also sees it as "dirty and demeaning " then he's probably going to want to project those negative feelings onto the sex partner. Which is easier to do if it's a woman he dislikes or disdains.

 

Then there's the man who just doesn't have much in the way of emotions. I was talking to a friend who says that he never feels emotional about sex. Sex, he says, isn't special. I don't personally relate to that thinking, since I see sex as the ultimate way for a man and a woman to bond both physically and emotionally, but I know that for quite a lot of people that's an emo, rose-tinted view of what they see as a very animalistic act (one which should be approached in an energetic and utilitarian manner).

 

I would think for men who do have an emotional side, and who have had the experience of physically and emotionally bonding with a woman they loved during sex, meaningless sex with somebody they don't care about would always be a second rate experience...one step up from masturbation. For a man who hasn't had that/isn't capable of emotionally bonding during sex, sex with a woman they care about might be the second rate brand of sex because they might feel inhibited/less excited than they feel when they're "hate-f*cking" somebody they don't really like.

[meandmyself]

Truth is that most men who will sleep with a easy woman (internally) they don't like her. They of course like her sexuality and the pleasure that it comes with it but there will be no respect....

I have some friends who are "players" or men who have very often one night stand relationship and it is curious that they are the ones who I more often hear down speak girls with words as slut and meat...

 

It is sad but those easy girls who think they will get anything else than a peace of meet inside of them and the pleasure that this may give them for that night are very wrong... at least in the most of the cases...

 

If you don't respect yourself don't expect that others will do...

Edited November 29, 2012 by meandmyself

[meandmyself]

God damn...

 

I hope I never have so few options that I HAVE to either: have sex with men who dislike me, or masturbate for years at a time.

 

for what I have read in other posts you already DID have sex with people who disliked you