Leigh 87 Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I cannot believe the prevalence of men who sleep with women who they do not respect or even like as people. I understanding sticking your penis into a women does not necessarily mean you are into her, but PLEASE: how can you do it with women you do not even LIKE (as fellow human beings), or give a crap about!?! You know, when the man sleeps with a women or even pretends to DATE her (pretend, just to get sex). Only to act like they do not think the girl is good enough to even be a FRIEND to them... And women! Why the hell do you sleep with men who do not respect you, or even like you enough to want to be FRIENDS with you!!?!?! I think that men with DIGNITY and self respect, tend to treat other people with respect too. I mean, if you consider yourself to be a nice person, who has enough options in terms of sex and dating, then WHY not just jerk yoursef off until you come across women who you either: - like and respect enough to be friends with, BEFORE casually hooking up -or, wait until you find a girl your into enough to actually date. Either way, that the hell is with guys hooking up with a girl that they would not even want to give the time of day to normally? I find it sick. Rant over. 1
MrCastle Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I understanding sticking your penis into a women does not necessarily mean you are into her Yes it does 4
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 ..But would it hurt to find a girl they are not only attracted to, but also have a shred of respect for? *sigh* I guess the women with little to no personality and not much going for them have to have sex with someone.... Not saying I am the best looking, greatest women out there, I messed up my life thus far, but hey, I have potential and a ncie personality to enough people/men to want me. I know that sounds harsh, but a nice way of putting it is: a women who's personality for some reason is not very interesting, friendly, or.. just not anything that many or ANY men admire or think highly of. I guess it is not that brutal, when you consider that some men are attracted to a women who is not really that great to hang around. Like I said; if not many men are into those women, they are naturally going to come across men who use them. I guess it just upsets me for some reason:( I know what it is like to have sex with men who do not like me at all or have respect for me. It is really damaging, that is probably why I feel strongly against this practice. ..........But what about the nice girls who are cute enough, who tollerate men who do not give a crap about them? Those women do not need to put up with that. 2
MrCastle Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 If you're knowingly sleeping with men who don't respect you--you have deep, deep issues.
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 By the way, my experience only motivated me to better myelf, so I was a good enough person and prospect for men to respect and want to be around. So now I can chose from enough men who are into me, rather than put up with guys who cannot stand to even be around me, but still want sex. But I understand that some men are simply extremely nasty people; they use women who ARE great people, simply because they are too lazy to seek women tho they respect, or are into.
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 If you're knowingly sleeping with men who don't respect you--you have deep, deep issues. I once did when I was a teen. hence why I am so dead against it now! It is SO much better to go without sex.. for YEARS (which I DID) than to allow guys who do not respect or like you to get in your pants. I spent years bettering myself (off drugs, got fit, learnt how to harness the goodness within me, etc) before I felt good enough to let a man have sex with me. You need to respect yourself before any man will. 1
ascendotum Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 A lot of ONS work with their being no friendship. Some of the good looking guys or women I have known have gone from hello to jumping in the back of a taxi to go back to her/his place to screw or her crawling under the table in as little as 1/4 hr on some occasions. The guy hardly knows her to even form an opinion on her, beyond, she's doable and she willing. Did not mean he had no respect for her. There were some guys I knew who actually did have contempt for the women they slept with. They would act like jerks deliberately to test women and the women would come on to them (nice girls too not scraggers) and they would go max hardcore on them (supposedly) and then never see them again. It was disillusioning hanging out with them too regularly. Guys who are not all that attractive wont be like this, but at this level they can sleep with a woman they have no respect for to make the most of a rare opportunity to get some nsa. Some do some wont, depends how desperate they are. When you use the word "like", there are 3 levels to this. Physical, personality, values. Its pretty easy for a horny guy to just operate on the first one. Leigh I think you over estimate how easy it is for many average joe schmoes to get a fwb off a female friend. There have been numerous threads on here, where women say they hate it when a male friend expresses sexual interest in her. Many women I know when it comes to fwb/f-buddies talk it down along the lines of why should I be a free prostitute for the guy...yet many have or are happy to be in when it involves a 'hot hunky' guy because 'that's different' then. I think you are reading too much into such scenarios to think all f-buddy relationships have the guy being so indifferent of the woman so as to not even give her the time of day otherwise, but yeah definitely there are sleazy pussy hounds out there who work at that level, but the woman wont realize often, unless she plays it for more and he's not so sensitive when moving on. I would have thought most women can pick these guys out though, even though the guys will put up a bit of a charade, though if he is a handsome man, it can cloud better judgement. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Sadly, man sleeping with you doesn't mean that they are even physically attracted.
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 But if I were suddenly single, and I did not want a relationship or to date, I would instead opt for a FWB. Why? Because that is the only option to me; find a guy who likes and respects me to either be in a relationship with me, or to just have sex with me. I would just rather be sexless (and I was for years) than to just let a guy who does not think highly of me have sex with me.
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 This thread came about because of the large number of posts about women who are screwing or sadly, DATING men who clearly do not give a crap about them. It makes me wonder: WHY do they do it? And more to the point: WHY to the men settle for having sex with girls they could not care the least about. I never KNEW it was THAT hard for the average dude to just find a female friend who was single, horny, and wants NSA fun!
wheream_i Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Because we find her physically attractive. This problem could easily be solved by women accepting the fact that sex is all we want from most women. But no, thus we lie. Because they turn her on. Nice men don't have enough options in terms of sex and dating. They find her sexually stimulating. Awesome........
TaurusTerp Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 This thread came about because of the large number of posts about women who are screwing or sadly, DATING men who clearly do not give a crap about them. It makes me wonder: WHY do they do it? And more to the point: WHY to the men settle for having sex with girls they could not care the least about. I never KNEW it was THAT hard for the average dude to just find a female friend who was single, horny, and wants NSA fun! PEOPLE are users...that's just the way of the world. And yeah, I think for the average guy it's hard to find NSA sex.
crude Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 The same testosterone that makes men go down with the ship and shield their girlfriends from bullets and work all their lives at garbage jobs to support their families and die by the millions to fight in useless wars makes men want sex. It has nothing to do with love or friendship, it's just sex. If you accept men protecting you from shooters and spitters, paying for dates, going downstairs to potentially risk their lives when you hear a noise, and on and on, you have to comprehend the male desire for sex. That's it. 1
Nyla Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 I have had the experience of men pretending to like and respect me for more than a month and then treat me like garbage after they get sex. It hardened my heart and made me distrust men a great deal. It was my severe self esteem issues that made me stay with some of these men, hoping they would change. By the time I was about 27, I had no tolerance whatsoever for that crap. I left my then boyfriend (who is now my husband) because I grew weary of his commitment issues and dated others. We were separated for about four months before my hubby asked me to move in with him. In that time, I slept with one other man who was mean to me after we went to bed. I promptly dumped him (by email because I am spiteful and mean to those who are cruel to me) Women stay with men who treat them like nothing, because the females don't know their worth.
Goldenbrwn Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Ill take a stab at this. Pursuing women that you actually like and respect gives those women too much power. Women do not like men whom they feel they have power or sway over. Which is part of the reason you hear people say things like "he is too nice." So when a man has little respect or real feelings for a woman he is more likely to succeed with her. 1
Revolver Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Because I don't need to love or respect someone to sleep with them. Also some women are lied to but alot of them now the deal and are okay with it. That's what people don't understand 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 But I have to have this "thing" from the guy, in order to be intimate... They have to be intrigued and genuinely interested in me as a person! They do NOT have to have feelings for me of a romantic nature; I just need them to LIKE me as a person. .... I totally understand a guy having sex with a girl he dislikes or does not think highly off because she is either' hot and he is horny, or she is not hot and he is very horny LOL. But to string her along AFTER sex? That is wrong. If you think a girl is just meh.... bland, ordinary, not a very cool person, and not someone you consider good enough to be FRINDS with, then WHY on earth would you date them!?!
grkBoy Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Leigh 87, you're looking at women-hating men as if they were only Jughead Jones. A man who simply doesn't want anything romantic out of a woman at all. Most women-hating men simply believe or are raised to believe that women are lower life-forms, and men are superior. They sleep with women in the same vain as Tucker Max. They see anything with an appealing physical look as an easy spot for their penis. They also look at the idea of nailing women as an achievement. So the receptionist the boss nails, the waitress the male customer nails, etc...are all seen as imaginary marks of achievement. These guys equate their level of masculinity with how many of these women they get into bed. For them, the top of the ladder is when they get hot women into bed without dating them at all. Just meet, have a few drinks, and then she's at his place. NOW...in the case of the women, many don't even know the guy is a misogynist. They see this handsome, charming man coming on to them, and thus regret it later when they see he really has no respect at all for women. The problem in these cases are the low self-esteem women. Their brains might be telling them this guy is bad news, but their hearts (ever wanting to be the princess in a fairy tale) are somehow trying to equate that him being so nice to her might mean he loves/respects her over others. When it comes that it was all an act, a few actually have the spine to walk away...but too many others then stick around, hoping to change him, convince him that she's so worth committing to, loving, and respecting. He of course never does, and thus she's burned again and again. In many ways, this is the "friendzone" for women.
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 In some cases, men have respect for women but then lose it after sex. 1
grkBoy Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 In some cases, men have respect for women but then lose it after sex. I never understood that. Maybe it's because I didn't get laid very often when I was single. I also think it was because I was relationship-minded. When I got a girl into bed, I more wanted to build things into a RL and thus do all the romance/sex things. I guess I'm just strange for a guy.
kaylan Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 This isnt unique to men. I know women whove hated a guy, claimed to have little respect for him based on his beliefs or behaviors, and then hear about how they hooked up later. Sometimes raw animal attraction is raw animal attraction. However, I will say men do this more than women by a good margin. 2
phineas Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 But I have to have this "thing" from the guy, in order to be intimate... They have to be intrigued and genuinely interested in me as a person! They do NOT have to have feelings for me of a romantic nature; I just need them to LIKE me as a person. .... I totally understand a guy having sex with a girl he dislikes or does not think highly off because she is either' hot and he is horny, or she is not hot and he is very horny LOL. But to string her along AFTER sex? That is wrong. If you think a girl is just meh.... bland, ordinary, not a very cool person, and not someone you consider good enough to be FRINDS with, then WHY on earth would you date them!?! You may feel that way, which is fine, but many women don't feel that way. They like sex & they willingly have it with guys the barely know if they find them hot & are ok with never seeing them again.
phineas Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 This isnt unique to men. I know women whove hated a guy, claimed to have little respect for him based on his beliefs or behaviors, and then hear about how they hooked up later. Sometimes raw animal attraction is raw animal attraction. However, I will say men do this more than women by a good margin. LOL! This is why I won't take a woman seriously if she constantly brings up some other guy in a negative manner & disqualifies him. It's like, who is she trying to convince? Me or herself?
mortensorchid Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Honestly, people who make a regular habit of doing such things have a true problem. They are really addicted to sex, and that's not a laughing matter, just like an addiction to drugs or alcohol. More like an addiction to high risk behavors. I knew a girl like this once, she told me herself that she had had sex with guy she didn't even like. I asked how that was possible, she said she cannot say no to anyone. She wanted, she said, to be liked so badly that she would be willing to do anything and everything to be liked by others. She really had a terrible problem. So that's why people do such things.
bac Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 But if I were suddenly single, and I did not want a relationship or to date, I would instead opt for a FWB. Why? Because that is the only option to me; find a guy who likes and respects me to either be in a relationship with me, or to just have sex with me. I would just rather be sexless (and I was for years) than to just let a guy who does not think highly of me have sex with me. Men see sex as physical satisfaction without emotions . For example, you are hungry for food. You have an impulse to satisfy yourself. You might have your favorite foods but you probably do not have it every time and you do not cook it every day. You also want a diversity in food and, you often prefer foods which are cheaper, faster, more available or whatever.
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