m14r Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Hello, this is my first time posting on any sort of love site. I am a 20 year old male college student in my junior year. I am posting because I need someone who has been in a similar situation to help me, if you would be so kind. So here's my story: I met a beautiful girl my junior year of high school, and we were immediately interested in each other. Her brother and I were already somewhat friends, so there was some sort of link between us already. We start dating, and fall in love with each other and are extremely close for a good 2.5 years. During my freshman year of college, she began feeling as though we were growing apart to an extent, mainly because our contact with eachother had decreased because I was so busy with baseball and schoolwork. During her feelings of doubt, conveniently, she meets another guy who she began to have feelings for. We were still together, but when I finally returned home from college, I sensed something was different. We talked, and it was discovered that she liked this other guy. She said she still loved me and all, but wanted space. So we broke up and I gave her some time. By the end of the summer, she had stopped seeing this guy and we ended up getting back together. This was her summer after her senior year, so she was getting ready for college. She chose to come to the college I am currently attending, so things were great. I could, however, notice a difference in how she felt toward our relationship. She wanted to be free and have her own identity, because everyone saw her as "Mike's girlfriend." So around the end of my sophomore (her freshman) year, we talked and decided to give her space and break it off. She and I still loved eachother very much, but that is what she wanted. She then started seeing another guy 2 weeks later, which to me was devastating. I was brokenhearted again, but got through summer o.k. by seeing other girls and working. She was dating this new guy now, but would still want to talk to me a lot, text me, and see me. I knew it wasn't good to see her, but I would still go hang out with her brother sometimes (he is my best friend), and see her there. She didn't want a relationship, I could tell and she told me. So we talked about it as friends (I didn't manipulate her one way or another, but I did say she needed to get out of it if she didn't want to truly be in it). She ended it by the end of summer, right when school was starting back up. We came back to school and she wants to hang out sometimes, go to the library with me, etc. I still have feelings for her obviously, but we talked and she is enjoying being independent. We hung out the other day and came really close to kissing, I could tell she wanted to, but we restrained. So I know there is still something there, but there is no hope at this point of getting back together with her. I probably wouldn't anyway, because I don't want to keep making the same mistake. I guess the reason I am telling you all this story is because I really have struggled to let her go. I see her with other guys around campus, and it just hurts me. Period. She is my best friend and I am hers, says she really loves me, but doesn't want anything romantic at this point. I try not to talk to her but she always calls me and texts me. We told eachother we would always be there for eachother no matter what. So I always answer calls just in case she really needs something, but it is usually to take her somewhere or hang out. I have been trying to be independent and hang out with my teammates and friends, meet other girls, and live my life, but I haven't met anyone I am truly interested in. It seems like I really need to let her go, but I feel like I can't. She is honestly the most beautiful girl in the world to me both inside and out, and I feel like I will never meet anyone as great as her. I really am confused and have felt unhappy for quite a long time now. I feel like anyone I meet will not make me as happy as she did, and I won't be able to love anyone like I love her, which won't be fair to the next girl I begin a relationship with. I just want to be happy again but something inside me just isn't o.k. without her, even after 7-8 months of being broken up (we were together for 3.5 yrs.). I want her in my life, but I feel like I am unhappy if she is in my life, seeing her with other guys, and being o.k. without me. I also feel like I will be unhappy if she isn't in my life at all because she is one of the only people in the world outside my family that really cares for me and loves me. I'm so lost. I need help. Thank you for taking the time to read this and help me, it truly means a lot to me.
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