slant Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I don't know how to do this. It's only been a day. She texted me and then we started talking and then we talked on the phone thinking of ways to make it work. We just ended up crying because we don't know what to do besides stop talking to each other. That seems like the worst option in the world for both of us. We are each others best friend and have told each other everything about our lives for the past six months. I moved across the country for a job, she spent a few weeks in Africa at the same time and we still made it work. I can't think of losing her.
theLWord Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I just went through this today actually, after two weeks of NC. Why won't the relationship work? Unforunately two people can care about each other and the relationship still not be able to work. That's the hardest part because if you hate someone, it's so much easier to let go. 1
Author slant Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 It is long distance because I moved across the country after graduating from college. She cannot handle the stress of it any more and would rather be friends instead having the requirement of trying to make this relationship work. I just know that I will want more than that. I feel it is hardest because I will be home for Thanksgiving and for Christmas, and I know I will just want to see her. I tell myself that maybe she will not be able to stand not seeing me and maybe we will see each other anyway, but I just don't know. We just don't want to lose each other completely, but can't agree what to do. It's so hard for her because we have no idea if we will ever be in the same city again and it seems we will only have time together every couple of days every couple months to be together. There isn't some big period like a summer where we will have time together. I'm just going to give it time and pray. I don't know what to do.
mammasita Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Why don't you have an "open" relationship. I know it's a long shot and you have a 50/50 chance of it working, but it's worth a try?
Author slant Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 That thought did cross my mind. I guess I just don't know how that works, but maybe it is worth a shot. We pretty much both agree we both need to see what else is out there. I feel we are both the jealousr type, but if there is n alternative have to try everything.
magnoliasoutherly Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Why don't you have an "open" relationship. I disagree. Slant, if you're hurting this much now, how do you think will you feel if she begins dating and you're not? How will you feel, knowing she is with someone else? Sorry, but I think bad relationships are the last ones that need to be open. It'll just be misery served on a plate. This one is going to be a big NC. I know you're hurting and I saw your post on the LD forum. My heart breaks for you, but YOU are important too. That is, your emotional well being. To see her dating others will only be torture. 1
Author slant Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 Thank you for the words and advice. I know. I really don't know if I could handle that kind of thing. I don't like the idea of hurting her either if I was to see someone else. We have been failing at NC. We decided to try and avoid talking for the weekend, so we can think to ourselves for a bit. She said she loves me and cares about me so much, but doesn't know what to do. Says there are so many things she wants to tell me and she wants to talk about our relationship. Says she is tired of talking things over via text and wants to talk in person.
oracle Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 The sad reality is that THIS.. will PERSIST... until one of you finds someone new and then finally lets go. Thank you for the words and advice. I know. I really don't know if I could handle that kind of thing. I don't like the idea of hurting her either if I was to see someone else. We have been failing at NC. We decided to try and avoid talking for the weekend, so we can think to ourselves for a bit. She said she loves me and cares about me so much, but doesn't know what to do. Says there are so many things she wants to tell me and she wants to talk about our relationship. Says she is tired of talking things over via text and wants to talk in person.
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