I'm 21, he's 43

[GirlontheLam]

Magic Mike. Thats all that needs to be said about a movie aimed at what women find sexy and fun in a movie.

 

That movie was a disappointment. Too much dialogue. Not enough stripping.

[dasein]

Very true. Movies and tv want us to think Al Bundy, Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, and the movie Hitch happen all the time in real life. That the chubby nice guy, who may be not that smart, lands a hot babe.

 

Al Bundy was a farce, the next two are cartoons (and anyway I don't recall those characters getting lots of hot babes other than as obvious jokes), and the topic of this thread is age gaps, which none of your examples have anything to do with. So try again. Name some common non farce, non cartoon shows or movies aimed at a -male- audience, that show lots of age gaps where the man is older and where the age gap is an issue in the show or movie.

[GirlontheLam]

Id say the issue is 18 year olds are still barely kids out of the home. Thats prolly why people raised eyebrows. And they tend to have the maturity of high schoolers as well.

 

Exactly. My general feeling is if you are old enough to go to the bar, you shouldn't be dating anyone who isn't old enough. Between the ages of about 15-25 a five year age gap is an eternity.

[dasein]

^And rom coms are written by men.

 

No, regardless of what gender writes them, they are aimed at -women-, not men. And are test marketed and endlessly rewritten to make money by appealing to those women. Try again.

[Shaun-Dro]

Very true. Movies and tv want us to think Al Bundy, Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, and the movie Hitch happen all the time in real life. That the chubby nice guy, who may be not that smart, lands a hot babe.

Of course you couldnt care less. The women here know how you chase teenage tail and sometimes join in when people decide to hate on older women. The rest of our memories arent that short. Or do I have you confused with someone else?

 

I asked you to prove that I had a problem with old women dating a younger man. Stop twisting things around about what kinds of women I've dated. It makes you sound more like a bitter woman than anything else.

[TheBigQuestion]

On to the double standard, how is that a double standard? You can date whomever you like as well if you are a middle aged woman provided you take care of yourself and seek it out if that's what you want. No one will care or bash you for it. I've never seen any woman talking about dating younger here get bashed for the age gap, and think there's one poster, mm, who is happily married to a much younger guy. In fact I see women gloating about getting with young guys here every now and then and they get nothing but congrats.

 

I've noticed that too. Have you also noticed that the older woman is rarely, if ever, labeled or depicted as the predator in that scenario? Nope. She's the lucky older lady who had some no-strings-attached and/or short-term fun with a young, hunky guy. But apparently, in the eyes of at least a few people, if there's an age gap of any kind, I'm always going to be trying to take advantage of the woman in some way or another, for some reason or another, no matter what. Thankfully that group of people does not comprise most people.

 

Hell, I've heard people question 5 to 7 year age gaps in the 25 to 35 range. That's what makes this thread's evolution so ridiculous. All these cutoffs and ranges are completely arbitrary, and the fact that some posters are trying to universalize these individual preferences as generalizations about how relationships work (or ought to work) is reprehensible.

 

Date who you want, bang who you want, worry not about age, but keep in mind that larger age gaps will often present insurmountable issues in long-term relationships. That's really what it comes down to.

[dasein]

People just tend to get really riled up when this topic comes up, whether here or in life.

 

I get riled at the predictable repetitive stuff that becomes an infinite lecture -at- the OP instead of responding meaningfully to what they post, they just keep droning it out about it being unhealthy or no future, or predatory or whatever without any direct responsiveness to an OP in these threads, just repeating the same things over and over accompanied by a few truly offensive stereotypes, insults and appeals to half-baked "science."

 

Back in the bad ole days here, I got called a pedophile by one wacky poster because I took a 14 y.o. to my HS prom years ago when I was 18. She followed me from thread to thread telling posters not to listen to me because I was a pedophile. Things are so much better here now

[GirlontheLam]

OK let't talk about movies from this year --

Looper: Bruce Willis 59 (?) Summer Qing 43

Argo: Ben Affleck 40, Taylor Schilling 28

Taken 2: Liam Neesen 60, Famke Janssen 38

 

But this is billed as downright normal in Hollywood land.

[kaylan]

No, regardless of what gender writes them, they are aimed at -women-, not men. And are test marketed and endlessly rewritten to make money by appealing to those women. Try again.

Again my point stands. You are incorrect about the age difference. So it doesnt matter who rom coms target.

 

Nvm the fact that there are plenty of male focused rom coms nowadays

[dasein]

Thankfully that group of people does not comprise most people.

 

That's why I felt OP needed a break and someone to tell her to date whoever the hell she wants, it's just sex at this point, she's had plenty of sex living with guys in the past, and will have plenty more. She seems to be a healthy, well adjusted young woman doing what we all did at that age. The fact that she even considers the issues in a thoughtful is better than I was at that age.

[kaylan]

PS - Stop trying to use Hollywood as anything indicative of what women really want. As I said earlier...most women arent running after much older guys...nor are they chasing down chubby nice guys. So quit with the Hollywood argument

[TheBigQuestion]

I get riled at the predictable repetitive stuff that becomes an infinite lecture -at- the OP instead of responding meaningfully to what they post, they just keep droning it out about it being unhealthy or no future, or predatory or whatever without any direct responsiveness to an OP in these threads, just repeating the same things over and over accompanied by a few truly offensive stereotypes, insults and appeals to half-baked "science."

 

Back in the bad ole days here, I got called a pedophile by one wacky poster because I took a 14 y.o. to my HS prom years ago when I was 18. She followed me from thread to thread telling posters not to listen to me because I was a pedophile. Things are so much better here now

 

To be fair, saying that a relationship with a 20 year age gap doesn't usually work out isn't an unreasonable statement. But I do agree that much of what's transpired here is answering questions and concerns that the OP never voiced.

 

I agree with your comment about half-baked (or at least cited out of context) science though. So apparently, a 21 year old female is too stupid and naive to know what she's doing when she's dating an older guy because her brain won't fully develop for another four or five years. Yet they are entrusted with all sorts of other rights and responsibilities and no one bats an eyelash. On the other hand, if she's a young, single mother, insinuating that she isn't capable of competently raising her child because of her immaturity is likely to get you chewed out by a lot of people. Yeeeep, it's very interesting how young women's naivete takes center stage only when there's a guy, especially an older guy, in the picture.

[kaylan]

OK let't talk about movies from this year --

Looper: Bruce Willis 59 (?) Summer Qing 43

Argo: Ben Affleck 40, Taylor Schilling 28

Taken 2: Liam Neesen 60, Famke Janssen 38

 

But this is billed as downright normal in Hollywood land.

Famke is 47, and tbh, in the movies Neeson looks to be in his 50s, so Id say it was a good pairing. I had no idea he was sixty until I looked up his wiki last year. They make him look good in the Taken movies.

Al Bundy was a farce, the next two are cartoons (and anyway I don't recall those characters getting lots of hot babes other than as obvious jokes), and the topic of this thread is age gaps, which none of your examples have anything to do with. So try again. Name some common non farce, non cartoon shows or movies aimed at a -male- audience, that show lots of age gaps where the man is older and where the age gap is an issue in the show or movie.

The point I was making is you cant pick and chose which part of Hollywood you think is representative of culture at large. My point was NONE of its indicative of REAL life.

[dasein]

Again my point stands. You are incorrect about the age difference. So it doesnt matter who rom coms target.

 

Nvm the fact that there are plenty of male focused rom coms nowadays

 

Age gaps - flipped by some romcom with Richard Gere and Winona Ryder the other day, there was some of that in desperate housewives, SATC, Pretty Woman, Trueblood, Friends, just off the top of my head. There are -plenty- of age gaps in female oriented entertainment, soap operas lifetime movies are full of it. Romance novels brimming with it.

 

Not so much in male oriented entertainment. Your point fails, sorry.

[kaylan]

Exactly. My general feeling is if you are old enough to go to the bar, you shouldn't be dating anyone who isn't old enough. Between the ages of about 15-25 a five year age gap is an eternity.

I agree with this. Which is why Im having trouble deciding whether to give this 20 yr old girl who likes me a shot to impress me. Im 26

Age gaps - flipped by some romcom with Richard Gere and Winona Ryder the other day, there was some of that in desperate housewives, SATC, Pretty Woman, Trueblood, Friends, just off the top of my head. There are -plenty- of age gaps in female oriented entertainment, soap operas lifetime movies are full of it. Romance novels brimming with it.

 

Not so much in male oriented entertainment. Your point fails, sorry.

The age gaps have gone both ways in Friends, SATC, and Desperate Housewives. Not to mention that new show Cougar Town. However, at the end of the day HOLLYWOOD ISNT VERY INDICATIVE OF REAL LIFE.

 

It may represent small portions of society, but by and large its not life tv and movies are influenced by real stats of what people do in their lives.

[dasein]

Very true. Movies and tv want us to think Al Bundy, Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, and the movie Hitch happen all the time in real life. That the chubby nice guy, who may be not that smart, lands a hot babe.

 

Tries to switch horses into a general diss on entertainment as dispositve, something I posted twice before, but fails. People can read the thread and determine exactly what you were trying to say.

[dasein]

HOLLYWOOD ISNT VERY INDICATIVE OF REAL LIFE.

 

I already said that once about tv and once about movies. It wasn't me who brought those in as indicative of anything, but I played along and disproved the proposition that it's men whose entertainment focuses on age gaps anyway. Women like age gaps in their entertainment more than men based on the content of their entertainment.

[kaylan]

Dude, James Bond is one of many examples of male focused entertainment with age gaps. Be real. Im a movie buff...do you really want to get owned right now?

[dasein]

To be fair, saying that a relationship with a 20 year age gap doesn't usually work out isn't an unreasonable statement.

 

Totally agree with that statement, but OP already knew that when she came here. Her friends beat it into her

[dasein]

This is kind of freaky cause he sounds exactly like my ex who owns a bar and is 43. It doesn't happen to be a pub in So. California, does it?

 

You know what's freakier, if that's you in the pic, you are the spitting image of my best female friend.

[dasein]

Women like magic mike or shows with hot men not old men. Are women the ones who enjoy bond movies or a ton of other where a fat or average nerd gets a victoria secret model hot girl? Sorry but no, those are mainly made to satisfy men and give men hope. No matter who you are, you can get a 10.

 

Missed this earlier. There's Bond movies of course, but name some others aimed at men and not mostly women. Hitch? I consider that a chickydoodle, would never pay to see something like that. Knocked up? Obvious farce which appealed to men out of absurdity, not fantasy. I really can't think of any more that are aimed at men that glorify a significant age gap where the man is older. Especially none intended to have men fantasize about the age gap.

[dasein]

Dude, James Bond is one of many examples of male focused entertainment with age gaps. Be real. Im a movie buff...do you really want to get owned right now?

 

Yeah, stop talking about James Bond (it's all you all got and know it which is why you keep repeating it) and go google away, imdb is just a few mouseclicks away. You aren't the only movie buff here and I'm genuinely stumped.

[kaylan]

The Last Kiss - Zack Braffs character cheats on his wife with a young co ed. This movie was aimed at both men and women. More so men, seeing as Braff tends to be in projects where he has some creative control and thus plays character he relates to.

 

Men at Work - Danny Mastersons (Hyde from that 70s show) new show about guys in the 20s paling around and dating in NY. Nevermind the fact that 3 of the actors are obviously in their mid 30s or older, and always dating younger women. The fact that they want us to buy that is hilarious.

 

Big Bang Theory - Same as above. Older actor (whos almost 40) trying to play off like hes really a 20s grad student. And of course his love interest if played by a younger actress.

 

Pulp Fiction - I thought Id give this a light mention...because come on. This was totally a guys movie, and of course young hot Uma Thurman is dating an older gangster type fellow. Not that the movie focused on their relationship....though Travoltas older character seemed to be into her.

 

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - A romantic dramedy thats obviously targeted to men mostly. Its told from the male perspective of emotional heartbreak. And most guys I know who saw the movie greatly related to it since it wasnt a bubblegum and sunshine love story. Jim Carry is obviously older than Kate Winslet.

 

Annie Hall - Woody Allen and Diante Keaton. 10 year age gap.

 

Lost in Translation - OBVIOUS age difference. Bill Murray, Scarlett Johannson...Im sure some middle aged guys going through marriage crises would love to meet a cute and sexy college student while living abroad.

 

Need I say more dude? Theres plenty more.

Edited November 9, 2012 by kaylan

[dasein]

Not the actors, you know better and that's not the issue, the ROLES. .

 

Last Kiss- chickflick

 

Men at Work - never heard of it and it's a tv show but ok, don't make me look into it and find that age gaps are actually not a focus of the show

 

Big Bang Theory NO, no age gap at all in the plot if this is the nerd show Im thinking about, and just so ya know, that show is -not- targetted at men, it's femme all the way.

 

Pulp Fiction Ok I'll give you this one Marcellus and whatever Uma's role was, but then again, the age gap is not an -issue- in the movie, whatever

 

Eternal Sunshine Very weak example because Carey plays such an immature dude in that, borderline chickflick, but ok

 

Annie Hall are you saying ten year age gap in the characters or between woody and diane? If it's the characters will give you that.

 

Lost in Translation Well I liked this because I like Sofia C, but saying most or even half of men did/would is a real stretch, 70% chickflick OK though.

 

I thought of one, Ghost World with Steve B and those girls EDIT chickflick for the most part though

 

You forgot a big one American Beauty

 

Pretty weak list. but OK that's a few. You aren't going to like it when I post the list of movies focused at women with a male female age gap, it's going to be looong. But Im not posting it tonight.

Edited November 9, 2012 by dasein

[kaylan]

Dude I have wayyyy more movies. Doesnt matter that you try to dismiss some of the films as chick flicks. At the end of the day they were all very or even hugely popular with guys. Btw, I know many guys who like Big Bang Theory and really got into Eternal Sunshine. But nice try.

 

And gimme a break. Lost in Translation was not a chick flick...and anyone will tell you that.

 

Just because there isnt an age gap in the plotline for Big Bang Theory does not mean its not obvious to some people that the actor is older. The idea rubs of older dork guy gets young hot girl will be apparent to many. But at the end of the day, who cares about hollywood?

 

The industry works similarly in how it targets men and women at times. Not to mention that I can bet you Magic Mike triggers the beginning of womens aimed at women with hot young guys. Since guys tend to get more eye candy in movies than women do.

Edited November 9, 2012 by kaylan