Long Distance, GIGS, NC

[slant]

So I had a thread in the long distance forum. My girlfriend of six months and I came to an end yesterday. We had both been getting stressed out and unhappy because of the distance that started three months ago and having doubts about what we wanted. Both talked about not wanting to be tied down and stuff. She really wants to be friends and says she loves me and I mean too much to her to lose me as a friend.

 

I have told her I just can't do that now and am trying to go no contact. I texted her last night asking how this can really be the end. She said she loves me and loves talking to me but doesn't want a commitment right now.

 

In the past few weeks alone she has told me things like she doesn't want to lose me, she is addicted to talking to me, I am her best friend, etc. I feel it is GIGS for both of us somewhat, and I miss her so much already.

 

I know I should keep on the NC, but it hurts so much. I just want to know what she is up to. We've been through so much already and the story of us is so complicated and we made it up to now, but I wish we could try harder for a bit longer. She is my first love and I am the first one for her that really treated her how she deserves.

 

Edit: It also hurts knowing that her unhappiness and stress at school and my unhappiness at my new job and new city is probably what is making the relationship unhappy and unfulfilled

Edited November 7, 2012 by slant

[dumPI]

Been there, NC for some months (in fact you have no other choice). It's gonna be a rough path. Just start doing it. There is a new guy in the picture though she won't tell you.

 

Edit: By the way, I read twice this: I treated her how she deserves. Well she doesn't seem to deserve so much good treatment from you. It's more likely you treat her good cause that's your natural way of treating women.

[River Rain]

So I had a thread in the long distance forum. My girlfriend of six months and I came to an end yesterday. We had both been getting stressed out and unhappy because of the distance that started three months ago and having doubts about what we wanted. Both talked about not wanting to be tied down and stuff. She really wants to be friends and says she loves me and I mean too much to her to lose me as a friend.

 

I have told her I just can't do that now and am trying to go no contact. I texted her last night asking how this can really be the end. She said she loves me and loves talking to me but doesn't want a commitment right now.

 

In the past few weeks alone she has told me things like she doesn't want to lose me, she is addicted to talking to me, I am her best friend, etc. I feel it is GIGS for both of us somewhat, and I miss her so much already.

 

I know I should keep on the NC, but it hurts so much. I just want to know what she is up to. We've been through so much already and the story of us is so complicated and we made it up to now, but I wish we could try harder for a bit longer. She is my first love and I am the first one for her that really treated her how she deserves.

 

Edit: It also hurts knowing that her unhappiness and stress at school and my unhappiness at my new job and new city is probably what is making the relationship unhappy and unfulfilled

 

I know you're hurting, but she said clearly that she's not ready for a commitment. I think the best thing to do is NC in this situation because your hurting so much. There is always a possibility for reconciliation, but the NC is so that you can get the desperation out of the way and start to heal. It's good for both of you despite the longing. I know how you're feeling. Each day will be a little easier. I wouldn't close the door completely, but maybe you should tell her that you want to go NC for 2 weeks to begin with, then maybe you two can talk and see how things are at that point.