MYFAITH08 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I have been with my fiance for 6 years and we have 2 children ages 3 and 1 and 1 month after I had my last child I found out from him that he had cheated on me with someone else, he doesn't know who it was (so he says) he was drunk and the only reason why he told me was because he found out that he had an std (which means it was unprotected) I was very upset, luckily I didn't get the std and neither did my baby. A couple of weeks later after I calmed down, I forgave him because from my knowledge this was the first time that he had cheated and I truly believed it was a mistake and he really seemed sorry. From that point on I knew he was trying to make up for what he did and we actually became closer. This past July he went to jail and is facing 1 1/2 years and although I have said I was over the cheating I never was and I also thought that I could never cheat on him until the opportunity presented itself and it happened about a month ago, I felt bad as soon as it happened (well in the process) and I knew it was wrong but something inside just wanted him to hurt like I did but it ended up hurting me more I cried after it happened and I feel horrible. I LOVE him I REALLY do, and I fell so guilty and want to tell him sooo bad, he's my best friend and I tell him everything and I have to catch myself when I'm on the phone with him so that it doesn't slip out, I even found myself writing him letters about it and I actually sent one but it came back, I don't know if this is a sign that I shouldn't tell him or what.... I'm so confused but scared that it may slip out one day by accident.
SWEETIE33 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Dont feel bad about yourself. We all need affection and it hurts when we dont know how to deal with pain and anger. You people all around you that care about you. Focus on the positive and your relationship will grow.
road Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 You need to tell him about your affair and get the book Surviving An Affair by Dr Harley.
Sporty Girl Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 (edited) I find guys that break the laws are not that caring. Like my best friend is talking to a guy that just got out of the slammer for ten years. He actually killed some guy. and he admitted to her that he had affairs with a married woman in the past. You cheated. He did to. It's only fair. Why are you feeling bad for this man? Who is paying child support or who is there for the kids? Why is he in jail? Do you want that in your life? Don't you want a better life? Go see as many guys as you want and get rid of this guy. Edited November 9, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
MrVegas Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 So, ignoring the jail and whether or not you should be with the guy (imho, kids need role models, prisoners tend not to be good ones). Lets just focus on the cheating part. Of course you don't feel good about it, whether or not he broke your trust or otherwise "deserved" it, you broke his trust. He confessed, you should too (unless it puts you or your kids in danger, but then you have bigger problems). A girlfriend once poised a fun hypothetical situation (it was annoying) to me. What would i do if i cheated on her and she caught me. And it was pretty simple. You can do it back, or get angry, but you don't get both It hurts when you get cheated on, but if all you can do is wait for a chance to do it back, then you haven't forgiven him, you are just as guilty, maybe even more so. You see, he made a careless action that hurt his feelings, by cheating to get even, you are making a deliberate action TO hurt his feelings. If you are intentionally hurting your SO, then there probably isn't much left to save. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, or in this case, likely gives everyone the same strain of syphilis. Dont think that I am putting it all on you, he made his bed and must own it too. But with jail time in the mix, there are likely a whole laundry list of issues at play. Best of luck with whichever you choose
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 He will probably cheat with Bubba and with Cletus, so you should probably line-up at least a couple more so that you'll still be even upon his release. Now I'm having to wonder whether Bubba and Cletus will ever permit his release
Sparta Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 [You cheated. He did to. It's only fair. Why are you feeling bad for this man? Who is paying child support or who is there for the kids? Why is he in jail? Do you want that in your life? Don't you want a better life? Go see as many guys as you want and get rid of this guy. Sporty Girl you are out of control “you cheated. He did too. Why are you feeling bad for this man” she also said that have been together 6 years and that she loves him..! wow Two wrongs make a right..? we condone cheating here… Nice
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