rick2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 We married 10 years ago and my wife moved from Canada to FL 4 years into the marriage she started being unhappy and depressed in FL and wanted to move back to Canada or some northern state. 7 years into marriage we moved to northern state but there I became unhappy and depressed. After a year of living there we moved back to FL after I convinced her. To no surprise she was unhappy and depressed and after a year she moved back to Canada. She said she would love for me to move there but doesn't want to push it knowing how hard it was on her. I have family in FL and she has family in Canada. (That's a seems to be a big factor why we both want to live in different places).What's next divorce or me moving to Canada? Any suggestions?
PrivateSorrow Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Why not try something completely different before calling it quits? Maybe a solid compromise would be finding someplace you both might be interested, equally far from both families. I hear California is nice...
Timothy Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 Rick, I don’t think you should go for divorce. Life is not so easy, everyone has to adjust. If your wife is not happy there and if she can’t adjust, then to save your relationship, you should bend a little. Just give where she wants to live a try, and later you can discuss things some more and decide together to go live someplace where you both will be happy.
crazykat73 Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 This is a tough one. If you're married, then you're a "team", so you both need to adapt to wherever you live. It's always hard moving, but ultimately, you need to live where it makes the most sense and usually it's the job/career that dictates this. If a job doesn't dictate this, then by all means, come to another compromise on where to live. I am currently separated, but I've relocated around the country 3 times with husband's career. I moved literally kicking and screaming because I had to give up a wonderful life/community on the beach each time...and it was getting old, but I had to do it - he was the bread winner and it meant a better quality of life for us if we moved. I cried for a year each time I moved, missing my friends, falling into depression, but you come out of it in time when you meet people/friends - but you have to try hard and it takes a good couple years to do this - minimum. It's not worth getting a divorce over. Believe me, when my husband had to uproot me from an ocean view home to the midwest, I secretly wanted to sabotage our relationship so I could stay, but in the end, we were a team. Good luck
Author rick2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 This is a tough one. If you're married, then you're a "team", so you both need to adapt to wherever you live. It's always hard moving, but ultimately, you need to live where it makes the most sense and usually it's the job/career that dictates this. If a job doesn't dictate this, then by all means, come to another compromise on where to live. I am currently separated, but I've relocated around the country 3 times with husband's career. I moved literally kicking and screaming because I had to give up a wonderful life/community on the beach each time...and it was getting old, but I had to do it - he was the bread winner and it meant a better quality of life for us if we moved. I cried for a year each time I moved, missing my friends, falling into depression, but you come out of it in time when you meet people/friends - but you have to try hard and it takes a good couple years to do this - minimum. It's not worth getting a divorce over. Believe me, when my husband had to uproot me from an ocean view home to the midwest, I secretly wanted to sabotage our relationship so I could stay, but in the end, we were a team. Good luck All this and and you say you are currently separated? WHY???
BlueStone Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 I think you both stick to much to your families and not to each other. If family is more important for you guys than being together why to pretend that you are married? I moved 3 thousand miles for my husband and literally started my life from scratch at the age of 40. Marriage is first and foremost is to have a common goal in life. If she is open to nortern states and you want to keep up the marriage, it would worth a try.
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