Long distance relationship

[suxy2011]

Hi all. Im new here but thought i would come on and share my story. thought it might help me when im feeling a bit down about things and need picking up :-). Im 33 years old and last february got divorced after 10 years of marriage. I have two children aged 7 and 10. I originally left my ex in august before. in the october i got back together with my first love. We met again through facebook in 2007 but nothing really happened between us until my marriage broke down.

 

I first met him in 1996 when i was just 17. I fell on him whilst drunk in a pub in my local town, he basically came with me and his friends and mine to another pub and bought me a water (on my request lol) then brought it out to me where i turned around and was sick on his shoes!!! never been sick on anyone before this or after so you can imagine the next day i was a little embarressed. Anyway his friend drove me and my friend home. The next morning i had a phone call, my mum shouted me and said who it was, i didnt remember at that point and had such a bad head. i got to the phone and it was him, he said that he wanted to see me again so he came to meet me at the pond in the village where i lived. i went with another friend and saw him walking down the hill. i was so scared, but i went over and from then on for the next nearly 3 months we where together nearly everyday. i was so happy, but the time came where he had to go, he was in the army and he'd been posted. i remember saying bye to him just down from my house and my heart broke. he said he'd be back to visit as soon as he got sorted as he was only an hour away.

He was coming down to see me and he crashed his car. i was so gutted but so happy he as ok.

I was totally in love, more so than i could ever imagine to be. I wrote a letter to the local radio station who did a thing called magic at midnight which basically told love stories and played a few songs of your choice along with your letter. I wrote about all of the above and even the dj was laughing at the sick part lol. at the end i said to say to him that i loved him so much and couldnt imagine life without him now. But about a week before it was played on air, he rang me and told me it was over.............. i was devastated to say the least. i laid in bed the night my letter was played and sobbed. it took me along time to get past my saddness but life carried on as it tends to do. i had plenty of other relationships which in my mind i always compared them to him, i never fell in love again like i had let myself with him. no one came close to our connection and the love we had for each other. about 8 months after, he turned up at my house, im a little unsure of the order of these random visits but i do remember every one, the first i was babysitting a few doors down from my house, i was with a good male friend of mine and we where dancing about to the bee gees lol. being stupid as we always where, when he looked out of the window, it was raining and my friend said i think thats him out there in that car!!! well my heart thumped and i felt sick, i looked and it was. i ran out to the car in the rain and he wound his window down. i couldnt stop smiling, i remember asking him what he was doing here, and he said ive come to see you. he came in and we talked, he said he was sorry for how things had ended between us and that it was because he went away to bosnia and didnt think it was fair for me to have to wait for him. i was now with someone else and it killed me to say that to him, we did sleep together and spent along time talking before he left. i was not proud of myself but i had missed him so much it just happened, time pasted and he visited again, this time i was at the local playing field with my bf and friends. he drove past in his car and my best friend got out of her bfs car and ran round to tell me, she managed to get rid of everyone for me so i could see him. we where out until very late talking and making love again. then he left again. my heart was in pieces. the last time i remember was a while later. i had written to him several times but had no reply inbetween, he said he didnt really write letters so i didnt expect to get anything back. i was with another boy by this time and was out in a group in town drinking. i went to the bar with my mate, got my drinks and my mate said to me, isnt that him stood over there? well my heart raced before i even saw him. i turned around and there he was. by this time i was either 19/20. i went over and chatted to him, and again told him i was with my bf who was at this point going mad over the other side of the pub. i said to him to come to my home and see me later. i cant remember whether it was that night or the next day when i saw him for the last time. but he came to my house and we went for a drive in his car. he asked me to marry him.......... i said no, which i instantly regretted. i was with someone else, my mum was ill and i couldnt leave her or my life behind as i felt i was too young to be an army wife. so he left and that was it.

 

The rest of the time i lived around there i always expected him to come back and see me but he never did. i figured he must have moved on.

 

anyway time went on and i got married and had two babies. I always thought about him and he never left my heart. In 2001 i got a computer, my bro had said about a site called friends reunited so i checked it out. after being on it for about a year i decided to see if he was on it too. i searched his name and couldnt find him and was gutted.

My marriage was a very lonely one, ironically he was in the forces too and always away.

another 6 months must have gone by and i searched for him again, this time i found him. it took me well over a month to send him a message. his profile said hed left the army and was a dj.

i got a reply months later, i put something along the lines of i dont know whether youll remember me, and he said of course i do, so good to hear from you how are you etc. i told him i was married and didnt hear from him for quite a while.

in 2005 i moved to a town down south onto a military base. through one of my friends on there i got introduced to facebook.

i set up a profile and was on a while when i searched for him again, and sent him a message. i dont know who added who but he ended up being friends on there. and we chatted every now and again. he had a gf now and i have to say even though i was married i was so upset my heart sank.

time went by again and they split up, i tried to help him through it the best i could. i felt awful he was so sad.

when my mum died and my husband at the time left me to go away with work, he was there for me and helped me so much. we talked loads on msn, fb and webcam. he was a brilliant friend to me at that time.

one weekend i was at my friends for the weekend and we'd been out, me and him where texting as i often did when i was drunk, dutch courage or whatever . he text me he loved me that night i and text him back the same. i know it was wrong but my heart still belonged to him. i tried to make my marriage work but i had been unhappy for such a long time in august 2011 i left my husband. i told him i was going to leave my husband before i did it and he said dont do it for me, do it for your own reasons. the truth was i had never been happy and it got to the point i couldnt stand to be around my husband anymore. was horrible for the kids and we ended up moving back to my home town. i had stayed for so long for the girls but i couldnt do it any longer, and i didnt want them growing up with a miserable mum. i got moved back home around my family and got the girls settled and went through so much. then i got a text, can i come and see you when your settled? from him. he lives 140 miles away, so had to be planned. he is also living back around his family. so in the october he came to see me for the first time in nearly 15 years. i was at an open evening for my daughter at school and he was texting as he was in a hotel waiting to come and see me. he text at one point are you home yet, im so excited i think i might wee. lol. well i got the girls to bed and when they where asleep he came round, i was petrified, he knocked at the door and my heart was racing. seeing him was just unbelievable, i was so happy. he stayed until 230am. we just talked and kissed and it was exactly like old times. he said how he had searched for me on fr and fb and was gutted when he saw i was married. hed never stopped thinking about me either!!!!

well, we have been back together over a year now, its hard because he lives in sunderland and im in hull but we see each other as much as we can, which isnt alot but i honestly cannot imagine my life without him in it. We are so lucky to have found each other again and i think what has happened with us doesnt happen alot. i wanted to share this as i sometimes get down about the distance and lack of contact and the odd bit of paranoia and jealously, but i think its normal to forget what you have sometimes and doubt yourself. i lack in self esteem which is my burden not his, but long distance relationships are very hard, even with a story like ours. i hope one day we will be together properly. we have talked about him living here but up to now no plans are made.

[magnoliasoutherly]

You know, 140 miles is really nothing. I would be there every weekend!

 

I've married my guy, but I was on the east coast and he was on the west coast. We managed to match up and get married. Unfortunately, he's been transferred and I can't sell this house. I'm stuck here and you guessed it, he's back in California and I'm in Mobile, Alabama. I would give ANYTHING to have him only 140 miles away.

 

Good for you for leaving the ex. Interestingly enough, my ex was Army and my kids are Army brats. My present husband is retired Navy. I was married to my ex for 23 lousy years. Married the whole time he was in the Army and he retired too. I met my current husband online while married too.

 

Our situations sound similar in some ways.