ashtree-house Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 (edited) I had a very odd weekend with my ex. And now I'm not sure what is going on between us. I'm okay taking it slow and letting things develop, and I'm not particularly scared about putting myself out there again.. but I don't want to get my expectations too high or get attached to anything yet. So.. Friday was a mutual friend's birthday party, and I knew my ex was going to be there but I have been feeling so good lately, I wasn't too worried about it. We have been in verryyy limited contact, but mostly nc. So we saw each other at the party.. we were civil but it was awkward.. and all our mutual friends (though they meant well) made it even more awkward. I started getting annoyed and a little moody. My girlfriend pulled me aside and told me my ex-boyfriend was having a TERRIBLE time, felt ****ty about the whole thing and was planning on leaving the bar. I felt bad after this, because he is a good friend to the birthday boy and should stay. So I saw him by the bathrooms and apologized for the awkwardness and for being a bit bitchy. He asked if we could talk alone about the situation, so we left the bar and went for a walk. We mostly caught up, but then near the end, he told me he was taking the break up really hard (which shocked me because I thought he was taking it so well). He told me he felt empty inside, and even the pain he felt while we fought was better then feeling nothing at all. I told him he didn't have to feel guilty about breaking up with me, because I needed to hit that "rock bottom" in order to get healthy (the therapy for my self-esteem issues, self reflection etc..).I was doing okay, and held no resentment towards him. He told me he didn't feel guilty, he just missed me. Then he kissed me, and I let him.. because what can I say? We macked a bit, but I was being guarded. I didn't tell him I missed him back or asked about the relationship. We went back to the bar after that because everyone was leaving. Before we split ways, he said "I know a million things must be going through your head right now, but I want you to know, this is the happiest I have been in a long time" and kissed me good bye. And he was all smiles. He has been initiating text with me every day since then, saying things like "I have been thinking about you" and "I can't wait to see you again" as well as just asking me about my life. I try and keep the texts fluffy, again I never bring up my feelings or act too available. I want to be pursued and want to gently urge him to pursue me. BUT I'm worried about being a FWB as he HASN'T said anything about getting back together. We are going to go see a movie tomorrow, so it can go either way. He even had a soccor game rescheduled to tomorrow, but was adamant about seeing me after, even though I told him it was okay to change the movie until a later date. He his going on a trip with this brothers this weekend and wants to see me before he flies out. He texted me a few minutes ago saying "I hope to see you after I get back from my trip too." So kind.. of.. maybe? Thoughts? Edited November 7, 2012 by ashtree-house
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