mehmehmeh Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 (edited) Hi. Here's the not-so-short short version: My ex and I dated shortly before our problems became apparent. We butted heads a lot and the communication was horrendous. We liked each other, loved maybe, but that only gets you so far. We never fixed anything, only ignored and soon it became the same fights, about different things. I broke it off, convinced we were headed towards more pain. He felt betrayed, stranded, and so he hung on. And I did the worst thing I could possibly do, I let him back in. So here we are two years later (yes, i know) and the tables have turned. We were always "just friends" but it was so much more than it should have been, in many ways. I'm attached, more than ever. And him? He says I'm important, I'm special, but it can't even begin to compare to the past. We've changed, in many ways. And while a part of us still wants this, we've convinced ourselves its doomed to fail. And it's true, the past speaks for itself. We still can't solve a single damned thing. He's ready. It's unhealthy and we can't keep doing this. It would be so much easier if I could hate him. Instead this idiot sits there listing off his "lessons of life" for me, telling me to do good, to do better, and to make the most out of myself. Good luck, he says. I'll miss you, he says. And he lets me just cry and cry in his arms while he's choking back his own tears. And I would give anything for us to be able to work out our problems but it's done, it's over. He needs to move on, and I need to let him. I still want to be a part of his life, and him mine. I don't want to get used to life without him. We've both expressed that we would like to be friends but I don't know how probably this will be with emotions in the picture. Right now, it seems like I will never really be able to view him in that light. We've decided on NC for "a couple of months" and he seems firm with it this time. I don't know when we'll talk again and I don't know how things will turn out. When you're ready, he says, but I'm not convinced I'll ever really be. Not in a long while. I know I have no choice in the matter this time cause he's serious, but... I can't concentrate on ****. And sometimes it gets hard to breathe. And just, ugh. This time it seems so absolute so I think I'm in denial. It's not hitting me yet, and I don't want it to. But maybe I need it to. Cry it out like the good old times. And omg. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Hi. Here's our story if you're interested. Edited November 7, 2012 by mehmehmeh
KatZee Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 So have either of you considered couples counseling? Sounds like you would both benefit greatly and it would help the relationship.
Author mehmehmeh Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 I considered it, jokingly. But um. The thing is. There is no more relationship. He wants out cause we can't convince ourselves it will work out. He seems to be ready to move on now so I think I should let him. And I have previously brought up getting back together, twice, but the conversation came back to us never being able to solve anything. Basically, for him, in the long run, he doesn't see us working out and he doesn't think we'll be happy.
Tiera D Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 NC is the solution to your problem and it doesnt "sucks balls" ..only through embracing it will you heal,a person who really loves you would not ask for space,but would ask for more effort in communication..your case is just infatuation TD 1
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