mehmehmeh Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 (edited) Hi. Here's the not-so-short short version: My ex and I dated shortly before our problems became apparent. We butted heads a lot and the communication was horrendous. We liked each other, loved maybe, but that only gets you so far. We never fixed anything, only ignored and soon it became the same fights, about different things. I broke it off, convinced we were headed towards more pain. He felt betrayed, stranded, and so he hung on. And I did the worst thing I could possibly do, I let him back in. So here we are two years later (yes, i know) and the tables have turned. We were always "just friends" but it was so much more than it should have been, in many ways. I'm attached, more than ever. And him? He says I'm important, I'm special, but it can't even begin to compare to the past. We've changed, in many ways. And while a part of us still wants this, we've convinced ourselves its doomed to fail. And it's true, the past speaks for itself. We still can't solve a single damned thing. He's ready. It's unhealthy and we can't keep doing this. It would be so much easier if I could hate him. Instead this idiot sits there listing off his "lessons of life" for me, telling me to do good, to do better, and to make the most out of myself. Good luck, he says. I'll miss you, he says. And he lets me just cry and cry in his arms while he's choking back his own tears. And I would give anything for us to be able to work out our problems but it's done, it's over. He needs to move on, and I need to let him. I still want to be a part of his life, and him mine. I don't want to get used to life without him. We've both expressed that we would like to be friends but I don't know how probably this will be with emotions in the picture. Right now, it seems like I will never really be able to view him in that light. We've decided on NC for "a couple of months" and he seems firm with it this time. I don't know when we'll talk again and I don't know how things will turn out. When you're ready, he says, but I'm not convinced I'll ever really be. Not in a long while. I know I have no choice in the matter this time cause he's serious, but... I can't concentrate on ****. And sometimes it gets hard to breathe. And just, ugh. This time it seems so absolute so I think I'm in denial. It's not hitting me yet, and I don't want it to. But maybe I need it to. Cry it out like the good old times. And omg. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Hi. Here's our story if you're interested. Edited November 7, 2012 by mehmehmeh
Frank13 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 (edited) I read your story in the link you posted. I was surprised to see that this part of your story could have been written by my ex. That is, your ex seems like me, and you seem like my ex. One of the main things was that I had trouble expressing, and all that lovely dovey stuff made me uncomfortable. He felt like he was being taken for granted, which was justified i think. I'll admit he gave more than I did in terms of affection. Obviously, I had my ways but for some reason there was just such a mental roadblock for me when it came to doing and saying simple things. I wasn't used to it, I was uncomfortable, and more often then not I just let it past. And hence, he felt unloved, he felt it was unfair. We fought a lot. Like me not being attentative I ended up dumping her and immediately went NC. Who wants someone like that? I don't. We have been NC for 9 months. I don't know how she feels but her couple half-assed attempts at communication the first week and nothing since tells me she doesn't care. I never want to see her again. Edited November 7, 2012 by Frank13
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