jayy23 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 So after giving my ex what she wanted 4months NC I sent her a msg just to see if she wanted to stay in contact and to put my mind at rest. She msgd me back and said... hey I'm good not talking tbh. I'm happy with how things are and I'm supper stressed with uni. It wouldn't be any good please can we leave it at that. So now I know what she wants and I need to respect that. As much as I would have rathered her tell me something diffrent atleast I know now. Since she msgd me everything has started to feel real like she really isn't coming back I was holding onto hope for a long time that she would change her mind and everything would be back to normal at some point but it's not goina happen. I wish I could go back knowing what I know now and change the little things that really matter but I can't. I know everyone says this but I feel like I have lost the one girl I was ment to be with for the rest of my life. Holding on to hope is what was getting me through but now all hope is gone. I can only try and get on with my own life now without her in it and it's goina be hard but it has to be done. I miss everything about her and have no hope that I will find another girl that even comes close. If there was a way I could change her mind about us I would do anything to make that happen. But what's done is done. I will allways have a special place for her in my heart she means the world to me. I hope that one day she realises what she gave up on. I was even thinking about surprising her with something I know she would love for Christmas but is it worth it? I can't see it making a difference. This Christmas isn't goina be the same without her. Life isn't goina be the same without her. It's time to move on now.
Dkp Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Oh man.. I feel your pain. Just think someone else in the world is feeling the same exact thing you are. I myself am waiting around on hope but I think I should just start letting go now then to wait and be disappointed. I guess we have to just let it burn and accept it. I'm so sorry.. I would do anything to be with this person but they don't deserve us 1
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 No not worth it. Whatever you get her, she'll enjoy it with her new bf, you don't want that. You tried, you got your answer, that's a lot more than most people get. I wish I would read one story like "I texted her after 4 months and she poured her heart out, she loves me and wants me back". Love stinks sometimes. 2
Author jayy23 Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 (edited) No not worth it. Whatever you get her, she'll enjoy it with her new bf, you don't want that. You tried, you got your answer, that's a lot more than most people get. I wish I would read one story like "I texted her after 4 months and she poured her heart out, she loves me and wants me back". Love stinks sometimes. I didn't think it would.. it wasn't goina be a material thing I was goina do something for her. She really ain't interested in being with anyone she is really dedicated to her studies at uni one more year and she will be a marine biologist she is in Egypt just now with uni as part of the course. She's been pretty stressed out lately. I was really looking forward to getting to see her graduate from uni and be apart of her life and her family. I've allways been really proud of her. Edited November 7, 2012 by jayy23
flitzanu Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I didn't think it would.. it wasn't goina be a material thing I was goina do something for her. She really ain't interested in being with anyone she is really dedicated to her studies at uni one more year and she will be a marine biologist she is in Egypt just now with uni as part of the course. She's been pretty stressed out lately. I was really looking forward to getting to see her graduate from uni and be apart of her life and her family. I've allways been really proud of her. yes she is interested in being with someone else, that's why she isn't with you and hasn't spoken to you in 4 months, and is TOTALLY FINE not talking to you anymore. 1
Author jayy23 Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 yes she is interested in being with someone else, that's why she isn't with you and hasn't spoken to you in 4 months, and is TOTALLY FINE not talking to you anymore. Yeh I know that obviously... I just ment for the time being she just wants to concentrate on uni.
Frank13 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I was even thinking about surprising her with something I know she would love for Christmas but is it worth it? I can't see it making a difference. Not only does she not want to be with you, she doesn't want to talk to you anymore. Why would she want a surprise from you for Christmas? She wants one gift from you, the gift of your absence. Surprise her with something else and you may find yourself with a restraining order. 1
LostOne1 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I know how you feel man... I'm feeling the same thing. Except for me so much happened and so much time apart.. I think she likes being alone or without me or with someone else... And yeah I had hope, but now there is no hope. After awhile you just need to end it. It's hard man.. I know I sometimes feel it too. As if I won't find someone else that loved me as much as she did. And so far out of all my relationships SHE was the one that took care of me the most and loved me the most. I messed up by taking things for granted and that's the biggest mistake I've made ever... It sucks, because you can't always win. You keep hoping and reaching out, because you want what you lost and what you NOW learn to appreciate more. But the thing is like you.. I realized that's our loss in some ways. We had a chance to make it work and we didn't. Then our ex's had a chance to see us changed and moved by this experience, but they messed up not giving it another go and seeing someone that loves them back. It's tough, but honestly.. nothing you and I can do. We can't force someone to give us a chance again or love us etc.. We had our good run and our chances and now it's time to accept that our time with them is gone. In a year or two you'll look back and feel okay. Why? because you will see that you learned so much and would never make the same mistakes ever again. Those mistakes have changed you as a person and made you better. Just remember that... 1
Author jayy23 Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 Not only does she not want to be with you, she doesn't want to talk to you anymore. Why would she want a surprise from you for Christmas? She wants one gift from you, the gift of your absence. Surprise her with something else and you may find yourself with a restraining order. And that is wat she's goina get. I'm done trying.
suladas Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 No not worth it. Whatever you get her, she'll enjoy it with her new bf, you don't want that. You tried, you got your answer, that's a lot more than most people get. I wish I would read one story like "I texted her after 4 months and she poured her heart out, she loves me and wants me back". Love stinks sometimes. There never seems to be any happy endings. I remember coming to this forum 2 months ago, I was so hopeful i'd get back with my ex, then the reality hit hard. But I do agree at least you got an answer, you got closure. That's the thing that burns me so bad right now. At this point if she doesn't want me i'm like, that's fine there's a billion other women out there but I find I can't let go without hearing it from her.
suladas Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 And that is wat she's goina get. I'm done trying. After what she said it's best. Absolutely nothing good can come from trying to contact her again or do anything. 1
LostOne1 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 There never seems to be any happy endings. I remember coming to this forum 2 months ago, I was so hopeful i'd get back with my ex, then the reality hit hard. But I do agree at least you got an answer, you got closure. That's the thing that burns me so bad right now. At this point if she doesn't want me i'm like, that's fine there's a billion other women out there but I find I can't let go without hearing it from her. Yeah I was like you.. I REALLY believed I could have a happy ending. I thought I'd be the guy that came out and was like "guys it worked were together and working things out slowly". And my ex even gave me that hope wanting to meet and all. then she changed her decision and said no she won't see me to work it out, she doesn't want to anymore... that change in a matter of a few days from wanting to work it out badly to not. She did say if when she got back from her trip I left her alone, she woulda came back to me after. I'm guessing once her anger had settled down and she realized I wasn't around anymore in her life. But I wrecked that by being pushy and aggresive and it caused a massive fight she still won't let go of. I guess no happy ending... but lessons learned for sure.
suladas Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Yeah I was like you.. I REALLY believed I could have a happy ending. I thought I'd be the guy that came out and was like "guys it worked were together and working things out slowly". And my ex even gave me that hope wanting to meet and all. then she changed her decision and said no she won't see me to work it out, she doesn't want to anymore... that change in a matter of a few days from wanting to work it out badly to not. She did say if when she got back from her trip I left her alone, she woulda came back to me after. I'm guessing once her anger had settled down and she realized I wasn't around anymore in her life. But I wrecked that by being pushy and aggresive and it caused a massive fight she still won't let go of. I guess no happy ending... but lessons learned for sure. Yep I had hope because I got the whole "i'll think about it", but the last 3 months of nothing from her has killed that hope, plus reading all the to familiar stories here. The weird thing is, i'm so fickle on it. Some days I think wow why would I ever try to get her back, the next day i'm so sad missing her.
River Rain Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 After 4 months "busy at uni" is really just sugarcoating it. She might be, probably is very busy, but if she wanted to talk to you, she would make some time. I told my ex I want no more contact from him, he inferred he would send me some kind of xmas card in the past, and to be honest, if I got one, I'd be annoyed because I told him to leave me alone. I know it's something you want to do out of niceness, but if she says nc, she won't appreciate it and you'll be left feeling a little foolish I think.
Author jayy23 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 Everything is really setting in now it's such a discussing feeling. I've just woke up its 4in the morning and I have such a sick feeling in my stomach. the thought that I will never see or speak to her ever again is just something I can't imagine but that's how it's goina be.
suladas Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 That sucks, it really hurts but it's for the best. Just take it one day at a time, each day gets better.
Author jayy23 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 That sucks, it really hurts but it's for the best. Just take it one day at a time, each day gets better. Yeh it defo does I hate it. The one person I want to talk to doesn't want to talk to me it's a killer. If I ever felt Down I would have her to talk to but now it's because of her I feel like this and can't talk to her about it. Doubt I'm goina get back to sleep now.
theLWord Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I'm sorry you are hurting so much. It sucks but maybe her not wanting to talk to you this time will finally make you move on. I hope by the holidays it's not so bad for the both of us. 1
Author jayy23 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 I'm sorry you are hurting so much. It sucks but maybe her not wanting to talk to you this time will finally make you move on. I hope by the holidays it's not so bad for the both of us. Yeh I hope so.. feeling the way I do just now isn't something I want to be feeling for much longer it's not good. I can't help but think about how much I want to be with her right now everything would be amazing if she was here with me or if I could even just here her voice.
Author jayy23 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 I still have some of her things like shoes a dress and obv just like pictures and stuff we took together but I can't bring myself to throw it all out. Plus I have a laptop she got me that I can't bring myself to use. it just sits and stares at me and my Xbox she got for my birthday and some other things cloths etc.. everything just reminds me of her. Even the bed I sleep in.. it just feels empty now. She's allways here but not in person just in memories.
theLWord Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Yeh I hope so.. feeling the way I do just now isn't something I want to be feeling for much longer it's not good. I can't help but think about how much I want to be with her right now everything would be amazing if she was here with me or if I could even just here her voice. Unforunately, I doubt it would be amazing if she was with you, or if you heard her voice. For her just to tell you that she doesn't want to be with you? That doesn't sound amazing. She wouldn't treat you the same, your mind is playing tricks on you. As far as the stuff goes, you need to box it up and put it in a closet or somewhere where you don't see it. Going to sleep alone is painful after a break up and it does make your bed feel empty. Just try to remember that you did all you could and learn to remind yourself that it wasn't meant to be, but you'll find someone who wants you back when you are ready.
Author jayy23 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 Unforunately, I doubt it would be amazing if she was with you, or if you heard her voice. For her just to tell you that she doesn't want to be with you? That doesn't sound amazing. She wouldn't treat you the same, your mind is playing tricks on you. As far as the stuff goes, you need to box it up and put it in a closet or somewhere where you don't see it. Going to sleep alone is painful after a break up and it does make your bed feel empty. Just try to remember that you did all you could and learn to remind yourself that it wasn't meant to be, but you'll find someone who wants you back when you are ready. I ment like if everything was just the way it was before she left. I put most of the stuff in a Box and put it away but I know it's there. Is there a certain time frame to keep it all and then throw it away? I can't even bring myself to delete the pics of her off my mobile.
theLWord Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I ment like if everything was just the way it was before she left. I put most of the stuff in a Box and put it away but I know it's there. Is there a certain time frame to keep it all and then throw it away? I can't even bring myself to delete the pics of her off my mobile. It's really up to you. I immediately deleted pics off my phone and got rid of the picutures too. It only holds me back. Some people keep them put away for memories, when they stop hurting. If it bothers you to keep them, I'd throw them away.
LostOne1 Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I still have some of her things like shoes a dress and obv just like pictures and stuff we took together but I can't bring myself to throw it all out. Plus I have a laptop she got me that I can't bring myself to use. it just sits and stares at me and my Xbox she got for my birthday and some other things cloths etc.. everything just reminds me of her. Even the bed I sleep in.. it just feels empty now. She's allways here but not in person just in memories. I feel for you man. Mines got a me a lot of the same stuff too. Some stuff I returned to her, which might have been a mistake. Only because her parents opened it before she did.. which caused more drama. But the rest of the stuff I kept or use still. For me photo's and all were more reminders, and I just sent them back to her. I just kept things aside now and it doesn't bother me. I just tell myself I deserve some of these things because she left me. It;s not like I hurt her and threw her away. So if it;s something expensive I've just kept it. 1
ForeverlovingRami Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Oh man read ure post, I'm totaly feelin ya. Ure in the exact situation I was in but u know what? Even tho u think shes the one for you, maybe even your soulmate. It will get better, with time it heals day by day... Just _DON'T_ sit at home waiting for the scraps like a puppy. Move on it's the ONLY way to get past thoose feelings.. Get out there, do stuff enjoy YOURESELF. If it will be you and her again then maybe it will, only time can tell that. But atm she seems really stressed and what not.. Theres plenty of them out there, even tho it's hard to even think like that atm... I've been down your road man but I'm working hard with myself to get myself in better shape mentally and physically, u shud too! Regards from the viking in the north Over and out!
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