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Affair ended badly..now I'm worried about the sexy pics I sent him.. !

Confused_part2

By Confused_part2
in The Other Man / Woman

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Confused_part2 New Member

Confused_part2

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Hello all,

I posted on here before about my situation as being the other woman. Will he leave his partner or me etc, he did leave and come stay with me for a week, picked a fight then left. He pursued me after this, biggest mistake of his life etc, I took him back but only if he sold his house to be with me which he said he would do. Cut a long story short, he dragged it out longer, I cut him off sexually till the house was sold. I then thought he might be cheating so I cut contact and ended it. A friend bumped into him a few days later and he said he missed me etc, my friend said go see her. Well he came to see me and we got back together, my bf found out and told the OM to leave me alone and was gonna tell his partner everything and send the dirty pics I had of him to his partner and daughter that is in her early 20s. The OM was very pissed, started threatening me even then just my bf, so the OM was forced to tell his partner who was wanting him out. He was still undecided about me, dragged it out and started talking about pre nup with me and if he died the house would go to his kids etc, I found this unfair as he was nearly 20 yrs older than me. So I ended it, he said I was just after his money which wasn't a lot believe me. So I was the one to officially end it but I realised and was told by others that he had started seeing someone else and looking back on that last week together he looked at me/treated me differently and picked a fight to go see her. I called his parter before I realised he had someone else because I felt bad for him getting kicked out. Turned out his parter already accepted him back. He took them away on holiday, prob scared I would call again. Anyway I hate him now and never want to see him again. I loved him but I realise he was an expert manipulater, very cunning and a complete liar. All through the relationship we exchanged sexy pics, full body face etc. he always said he deleted from his email on his phone incase anything every happened to it and had to be taken to apple for repair, he also said he deleted them by accident once, now I'm **** scared he still has everything. I have plenty if him even though I said I deleted them. When my bf was threatening him he said to me I have pics of u, which I replied don't lie no u don't. He never persisted with this threat although to me it would have been the best way to not get my bf to send pics to his partner and family so what I'm wondering is if he has them still? What will he do with them if he has? I'd like to think is entertained elsewhere and is so annoyed at the fuss I've caused that he would just delete them out of disgust for me, very aggressive man. Anyone been in a similar situation or from a mans point if view if all men lie about keeping pics. Thank you all for your help

darkmoon Established Member

darkmoon

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get a radical make-over, be your opposite, new make-up, hair, tan

Edited by darkmoon
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Confused_part2 New Member

Confused_part2

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If I could turn back time I would, just naive and first affair, he knew what he was doing all along, very horrible selfish person. I've got a lot worse ones of him and I'd like to think because he has everything to lose, job,partner and kids that he wouldn't do anything with them. My friend works with him and just scared he might show some guys at work as I used to work there too and would be embarrassing. My bf said the guy has moves on and isn't thinking about me, prob just trying to forget everything ASAP. I agree with him, I just get scared thinking if him sharing the pics with guys at work or something but he risks a lot because it might get back to me then I would ruin his life or my bf would so if like to think he wouldn't do anything stupid. Already had a makeover lol

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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I don't think most men delete "sexy pictures"...but maybe smart ones in As do, I don't know. But it seems most men keep sexy pictures, somewhere. Even if it is not in their phone or email or something they look at daily, I think most have a copy somewhere.

 

In any case, it's out of your hands. I doubt it will come back to haunt you though...and you have enough ammo on him as well. But I'd not be too worried about it, esp since you can't do much about it now anyway.

 

Is bf bestfriend or boyfriend btw? I'm confused about this...as it is seems pretty darn weird that your boyfriend seems so casual about you having an A and is even advising you on the OM's thinking process. That is veryyyyy strange to me...and if it is indeed boyfriend, why are you still together? :confused:

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Tara247 Established Member

Tara247

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get a radical make-over, be your opposite, new make-up, hair, tan

 

LMBO!:lmao:

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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I don't think most men delete "sexy pictures"...but maybe smart ones in As do, I don't know. But it seems most men keep sexy pictures, somewhere. Even if it is not in their phone or email or something they look at daily, I think most have a copy somewhere.

 

In any case, it's out of your hands. I doubt it will come back to haunt you though...and you have enough ammo on him as well. But I'd not be too worried about it, esp since you can't do much about it now anyway.

 

Is bf bestfriend or boyfriend btw? I'm confused about this...as it is seems pretty darn weird that your boyfriend seems so casual about you having an A and is even advising you on the OM's thinking process. That is veryyyyy strange to me...and if it is indeed boyfriend, why are you still together? :confused:

 

Yup, i'm confused about this too. BF boyfriend or BF best friend?

 

Anyway, stay out of this guys life, forget he ever existed and tell your mutual friend (the girl who knows him as well) to stay out of it too. She should not tell you anything about him, don't ask her to keep an eye on him and report back to you.

 

I will just say, own your part in this, don't put all the blame on him. You're a grown woman who made some pretty bad choices, along the way you ignored many red flags and chose to trust him again and again.

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Confused_part2 New Member

Confused_part2

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Bf is my boyfriend. When he found out he forgave me, I still wanted to make a go of it with th OM, but when I ended it my bf was happy to have me back and away from such a low life. That's why he threatened to tell show the OM partner pics etc so he would leave me alone. My bf could read this guy and his intensional better than me. My bf said he has learned what was wrong with our relationship from all this, I have too and were gonna make another go of it and I'm sure were gonna be very happy together. I know it's weird how supportive he's been, bit shocked myself.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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You are extremely lucky and your boyfriend is a saint. He truly has a big forgiving heart - So you better really appreciate that and do all that you can to work on you, affair proof your relationship so you won't cheat on him again (with exMM or any other guy) and also prove to your boyfriend that you are in fact, worthy of this chance he's giving you, instead of ending it with you.

 

A lot of damage has been done..Lying, hiding, deceiving..Own that. The affair (how long did it last before your boyfriend found out?) is a wake up call, that's how you have to look at this and never look backwards - Only go forwards.

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Confused_part2 New Member

Confused_part2

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I am so grateful he has given me a second chance, I will never hurt him again I can say that with confidence. I tried ending the affair many times but I stupidly believed what the OM was telling me and continued with it. Just didn't think anyone could be that two faced but what else did I expect. The affair lasted a year and my bf found out near the end. Funny thing was I knew the OM wasn't right for me but I felt invested, opened my whole life up to him and he ended up cheating on me, and he even rubbed it in my face with hints and suggestions that I isn't realise till after. I thought I could change him but he's just a sleaze. I'm going back to live wih my bf soon (he's in another city) and I'm sure once I'm there with him I'll be fine. I just get panic attacks now and again about the pics, he won't show his partner, at most he would show his best friend but I'm hoping because of the fact it's his best friends sister he now has as a mistress that he won't show him any pics, he always said he never told his best friend about us because I used to work with the both of them. I was contemplating phoning him or a txt to say how much I'll always love him and that he never has to worry about me telling and that I deleted the pics or something along those lines, thinking that might stop him from wanting to abuse pics if he has them. Should I just leave it or contact, I really don't want to contact him but I'm worries about these pics. He doesn't know I know he has someone else. My friend said he will prob realise in time what he's lost and try contact me again if he finds out I'm not with my bf so that's another rwason he might not abuse them if he hopes one day to rekindle, either that or he just hates me. Hard to tell with that sociopath.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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NO CONTACT. DO NOT TELL HIM that you'll always love him. That's a slap in the face to your boyfriend! Let alone a huge ego feed to MM.

 

NC NC NC NC NC.

 

And again, please ask your friend who knows him, to stay out of it completely and not discuss anything with him or talk to you again about MM.

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Confused_part2 New Member

Confused_part2

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Yeah you're right I shouldn't contact him, isn't true I would always love him, I was just gonna say it to sweeten him up. I already asked my bf if I should do this and he said the guy is probably just hoping and praying to never hear from me or my bf again. Would anyone be so stupid to pass around pics knowing I could find out and so the same to him and even worse?

sweetkiwi Established Member

sweetkiwi

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nudie pics. Looks like you won't be running for president.

alexandria35 Established Member

alexandria35

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I'm having a hard time seeing you as any better than your AP. You were mad about him not leaving his wife while you were happy to cheat on your bf. You can't believe he was so two faced but weren't you being pretty two faced to your bf? And then you got pissed because the OM wanted to leave his house to his children if he died. Now theres fights and hurt feelings over dirty pics and OOW. Sigh....affairs are such love filled fated by the universe romances.

 

If he's the jerk you make him out to be, I'd say chances are good that he has shown your sexy pics to other guys but hopefully he'll do no more than that. Don't contact him and tell him you love him and have deleted his pictures. Thinking you could ruin him with the pics you have might be the only thing stopping him from ruining you with the pics that he has.

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Pierre Established Member

Pierre

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he knew what he was doing all along, very horrible selfish person.

 

Of course he knew what he was doing! He is a cheater.

 

Never trust these men. He put the wool over your eyes. Most of these men are sociopaths.

beenburned Established Member

beenburned

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Confused,

 

All parents want to make sure their children are taken care of if they die.:)

 

It is very common for divorced parents to make sure their children get all the assets and money that was accumulated during the original marriage. This is usually accomplished by getting a pre-nup drawn up before they remarry.

 

It also is common to set up a will to provide for the new spouse. This would include the new home and all the assets/money accumulated during their marriage.

 

And if any future spouse does not agree to this, I would definitely NOT marry them.(as they sound like a gold digger because they want to financially ruin his children's original inheritance from the first marriage)

underwater2010 Established Member

underwater2010

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You should be worried. I have all the pics and videos that the MOW sent my husband. But the sad fact is that there is not much that can be done with them "Legally".

 

This is why I always tell my daughter NOT to send pics of a sexy nature. In fact there was a recent study that said majority of nude pics/videos end up on the internet. That should be reason enough not to send anything of that nature, even with a SO.

Mint Sauce Established Member

Mint Sauce

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just naive and first affair

 

looking forward to the next one, are you?

 

never mind, to each his own

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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You are extremely lucky and your boyfriend is a saint. He truly has a big forgiving heart - So you better really appreciate that and do all that you can to work on you, affair proof your relationship so you won't cheat on him again (with exMM or any other guy) and also prove to your boyfriend that you are in fact, worthy of this chance he's giving you, instead of ending it with you.

A lot of damage has been done..Lying, hiding, deceiving..Own that. The affair (how long did it last before your boyfriend found out?) is a wake up call, that's how you have to look at this and never look backwards - Only go forwards.

 

Saint? Other words came to mind besides that for me....:o

 

Frankly, it seems like this guy is just plain desperate. He seems not to blame Confused for her actions at all and went to threaten the OM versus confront her... his 'forgiveness" seemed to come quite easily, which seems very strange to me. Confused was STILL trying to be with the OM, and her bf knew this, and the only reason she didn't is because he didn't want to be with her and he lied to her, but since her boyfriend seems to be so willing to stay with her no matter what, she accepts him since her first choice fell through. If Confused's bf came here telling the story, I'd ask him why would he threaten the OM and not blame his gf at all and why is he trying to be with a woman who is staying with him by default...:confused:

 

This story doesn't seem romantic or practical at all. I think both Confused and her boyfriend are in for future drama. I don't see how you have a year long affair that you say you invested in and you were inlove (and even now, it's not that you are no longer inlove, it's only because you realize the OM won't change why you've given up)your boyfriend finds out at the end of it, forgives you (as you continue pursuing the OM but realize he is a sleaze and you can't change him), then when you realize the OM will never change, you say never mind, I'm going to go live with my boyfriend now and once I do I will be fine. It seems like a terrible mess to me, where the bf is just desperate, and Confused just wants to be with someone who is gonna be there no matter what and since the bf makes sure he is not leaving and he will fight and threaten the OM as Confused is the innocent one her (???) then why not be with him. No one in this story seemed to take pause to consider anything...buttttt I wish you all luck.

Edited by MissBee
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