domple Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Hey Everyone, I recently started seeing this girl, things are going fine however there is one thing that is bugging me (and its not a bad thing). Now firstly I am not poor I have a job and I am paid decently well. However this girl which I am starting to get to know from my understanding is quite well off. I have no issue with girls making money just that I don’t know if I can match her lifestyle. I don’t think it bothers her but it kind of bothers me in the sense I cant keep up. Any guys been in that position before or any suggestions? I am seeing her tonight so I was thinking of bringing it up.
dusty_71 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I am not a guy but I can say I am in that situation ever since I have been w/ my husband - altogether we have been together for 13 yrs. I earn more than him and always have and the problem is that he has always felt like less because he earns less and has taken it out on me. I think if it really is not an issue with her or you it can work but you have to be honest. My man was not honest about his feelings before we married. Now it's just a big snowball going down hill, getting bigger each day.
Author domple Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 Hi dusty thanks for replying. I actually don't mind if women make more, just that she likes to go out more than I can afford to. For example she travels every 2-3 months to visit friends in other states and can afford more when going out. However I won't start spending to keep up with her I will probably just have to be honest with her in the coming days
rocketman122 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Im in that situation now. a little less so now because she started her own business and isnt making so much. new business. but she was a VP of a hitech company and it scared the crap outta me. she's only payed on 2 dates we've ever been, as I wont let her. but it was very intimidating to me in the beginning. I still have worries about it. I dont know how to bring it up, but im working on it. she knows though. im sure. I know for a fact that many men will say "I dont care that she makes more than me. sheeyet, let her bring the money and i'll stay at home" but I think when it comes down to it, not many men will like it. its very emasculating. unless youre a moocher and then you'll feel like you hit it big.
yongyong Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Just do what you have been doing. If she looks down on you because of the restaurants you usually go, brands of clothes you buy, cars you drive etc, she is not a match for you. DO NOT BRING IT UP.
kaylan Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I dont find it emasculating. Enjoy her for the person she is, not the money she makes. Its not a problem unless you make it so. She doesnt seem to mind so far. Take it day by day.
FitChick Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 This is why I only date men who make more money than I do (not too difficult). I once dated someone who made less and his insecurity ruined the relationship. He cheated on me with someone very poor so he could feel manly and help her out. Most men feel that way. One less thing for me to worry about.
kaylan Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 This is why I only date men who make more money than I do (not too difficult). I once dated someone who made less and his insecurity ruined the relationship. He cheated on me with someone very poor so he could feel manly and help her out. Most men feel that way. One less thing for me to worry about. I wouldnt say most men are like this. Insecure men are like you described. But I do know plenty of guys who wouldnt be too bothered about a girl who makes good money. Than again, maybe its different for my age group.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I wouldn't mind if a guy made less money than me; although I think that'd be nearly impossible! In all seriousness though, right now I'm having a rough time in my job field so I'm back in school completing my degree and embarking on a new career path. So in short, I'm broke! If I dated a guy in a similar situation I'd be very understanding. 1
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