Inviv_girl Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Does anyone lost and confuse as I am? nothing I do seems right. I lost my job after the break up, still not able to find the new one, I cry everyday. He made decision to leave me. Its been more than 2 months now. We still in contact, I was hurt and went NC, and he contact me, and constantly just want to know how am I doing and to know if Im ok. Was great when we were together (although there's some stupid fights) and due to job we have to be apart half way around the world, his in England and I am in Asia, we kept the relationship because we love eachother and then out of the blue he said his feeling changed and want the break up. I love this guy so much I cant live without and the break up caused me a lot of pain. We are in our 30ist and he's my first boyfriend. He made it clear that the break up was not because of other woman, we talked recently and he said our fights changed his feeling, he was so scared he's not himself when we fight. It was just random stupid fight coz of jealousy and misunderstanding most of the time, just some argument. And I ask him if his love were real it wouldn't fade cos of stupid fights, and he said his love was real but the fights changed him! I explained why those fights happened and he seems understand and now I dont know if his feeling ever come back I dont know what should i say to him to convince that my love is real, and I really want to work out our relationship, he is 31 and Im 32, we talked about marriage and having kids together and his the one who bring that up and i was so happy and I put so much hope on him. I dont know, REALLY dont know what to do now Guys thank you for your time reading this and please help me if theres an advice, Im not able to sleep or eat and I think nothing but him, and I miss him SO much!!
Author Inviv_girl Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 Thanks for your kind reply, I know Im so old for relationship, I worked too much in the past and never met right person that love me enough for relationship. Im honest, Im not bad looking to be honest, slim, people say Im beautiful (which is I think I am). I dated several times before but never been in a real relationship and all the guy I've been dating with was an a**hole! a player, they just want someone to sleep with or having fun, no one was serious and also I was not able to really deeply in love with anyone before then I met my ex- finally and we fell in love, and he really took me seriously at that time and wanted the relationship and plan for the marriage. I was so happy for the first time in my life I had a relationship with the guy I love and he loved me. People says we are beautiful couple and his friends even say he has a good taste in woman for choosing me. I was just happy! VERY happy for our relationship, I should be thankful instead of took it for granted with my insecurity, jealousy and that stupid girly/teenage girls would do. I was happy maybe over happy as he is my first and I do love him very much and I thought his love will last forever. I never thought things will go this way, never was. Whenever we fight he always make an effort to comfort me and apologize, even I started the fights. He has a lot of female friends and when we're in a long distance I was so jealous when I heard he hang out with/meet them. Also its also probably a cultural things that he is western and Im Asian. I dont really like some of his female friends, I thought they flirt with him, invited him to her place or call him for hang out and he is such a nice person and he wouldnt let them down by rejecting the invitation, I was mad when he told me he hang out with them, but also I cant do anything about it as we are in a long distance. What was I thinking with all the fights I caused?? I now realized what I did and really.. the jug is broken and I couldnt ment it with regret he is my hope for the future and I really do hope he will change his mind and we can work on our relationship. I cant stop blaming myself for pushing him away, I have dream comes to me almost every night and it haunted me, I cant let him go.. I just cant! NC is for the best people said, but when I didnt contact him he will contact me and I couldnt ignore him. If we want the reconciliation we need to stay in touch and be friends with the ex- in order to gain the feeling back right ? or am I wrong? And does NC works for long distance?
Author Inviv_girl Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 have you tried telling him you will improve and try to change your ways if he gives you a second chance? Last month he says he didnt see it (whatever thats mean)! But last week when we talked on the phone and he seems understand why the fights happened and that Im willing to change, few days ago we talked again and he says he likes our conversation last week that we are open to each other, and now he understand more. I dont know whats that mean..
Author Inviv_girl Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 If you try talking to this guy too much you will come off as stalkerish and that will drive him away. We used and still do the random chat sometimes and if Im off and didnt contact him, He Will contact me and ask how am I doing etc... To be honest he's the best thing ever happened into my life and to ignore him is sort of impossible for me, although I know it will prolong my pain as we are broke up now. Im confused
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