LostOne1 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 (edited) I guess I just needed to vent out. So friday I went to my ex's place and dropped off a few gifts she gave me and all the cards she ever got me. What was my intention? 2 things.. as crazy as they seem. I thought she might see them and realize I'm moving on and maybe for her to find herself again. She seemed so confused, I thought maybe seeing those things would make her feel what she felt for me. At the same time I thought maybe she will fight for me again. Well her parents opened the bag and I guess maybe I should've used a box or something sealed fully. But they opened it and I have no idea what happened. All I know is my ex gets home from work and I get 3 long texts of her saying how she hates me now and never once hated me. How she regrets meeting me, how I am so low of a person to do what I did and don't have respect for elders and basically telling me to go to hell and never speak to her again. I did tell her my intentions were NOT to show her parents or family, but it was for her and I wasn't sure why her parents opened it. Anyways I did feel some what good, because knowing she hates me. I know she can't lead me on and if I contact her ever she will never reply. So it makes moving on easier I suppose. But there is part guilt in me thinking what if I didn't send the stuff yet. If I waited or left it as is... would she have later gotten back in contact with me? I always felt lead on... though I wish I had visited this site before and had my close friends come back earlier. I definetly would have told her the day she wanted to break up and have space. I just woulda given it to her and blocked all communication after that and never looked back. Talking to her, chasing her etc.. hurt me more and more. I guess I'm not used to breaking up or even having another guy in the picture be it friend or someone more. For once my emotions beat my mind and I said and did things I wish I didn't during the earlier part of the break up. One thing learned is ALWAYS find a way to stay calm and the best way is to give it time to digest information rather than react right away. Too bad I can't go back and do it differently. Funny enough my sister gave me good advice of just going NC.. but I couldn't follow it and always ended up chasing my ex. If I had listened for once.. I'd be healed by no or okay. In fact if I listened to my sisters advice all along.. I wouldn't be in a BU situation, but I guess this is what I learned... sometimes you NEED to LISTEN and HEAR people out. While at the same time I feel good, because if she did cheat on me. Then her parents know and I guess that's why she might be mad. That it makes her look bad now in front of her parents. For me my parents already know of the whole story, my parents saw me suffer and one day asked me and I let it out. My ex did say she would never do what I did to her and tell my parents. But that doesn't matter since they know the bad and good. Anyways.. just had to get it out there.. I have more to say about how this has affected me and my sisters relationship as siblings too, as we no longer talk. But that issue I will post later. Edited November 6, 2012 by LostOne1
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