in_the_shadow Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Hi! You may have remembered my previous post (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/344098-9000-miles-15000km-apart-will-work-out) and I really wanna thank everyone who had replied. I read every comment carefully and it seemed that everyone wanted me to break up with my LDR bf. It dawned on that I was making a mistake. But I couldnt bring myself to break up with him when my only problem was not being able to "see" him. I know it would be better if he had a webcam and we could video chat but I feel like pressurizing him to buy one (for my sake) is kinda selfish. That being said, I tried to drop hints so he would understand that video chats and audio chats are necessary for LDRs. He finally got the hint and said he would be getting a webcam soon. He also said that he would visit me next year and is saving up money to do that. However, I know I am the paranoid and insecure type. I cant help but think that he is lying to me. Am I not suitable for LDR? Is it my problem now? I can tell that he is trying to accommodate me but why cant I trust him? What should I do?
Lady Chrissy Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Alright, I am in a semi same situation that you are, my boyfriend doesn't want to buy a webcam either, (His reasoning, He lives with his dad still and his dad will not allow it. If he got caght with one he would get kicked out). I understand not being able to see your SO since the distance is hard enough. I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years now without meeting him or seeing him (outside of pics and facebook). Though it gets hard, you can't pressure somone to do something that they don't want to do. If you are choosing to be in a relationship with someone you have to accept them for who they are no matter how annoying some of thier habits or decions are. He said that he would get a webcam finally so take it as a small victory in your relationship and it does go to show that he is trying somewhat. The whole trust thing comes with the teritory of being in an LDR, its hard to trust someone as it is, but it is even harder to trust someone you havn't met in person. My advice to you is, unless he has done somethig to break your trust i.e lie or cheat, then you shouldn't worry about it so much. If you SO is understanding try talking to them about your insecruities, if he is a good person he will understand and not get upset about it. But remember, if he hasn't done anything worng don't act like h might be becuse that can really ruin your relationship and make you miserable. Love, Chrissy <3
Author in_the_shadow Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 Hey Chrissy, You don't know how happy I am to find out that I am not the only one in this situation. 1.5 years together is just incredible. It's only kinda 4-5 months for me and I still struggling because I tend to get paranoid over nothing. He has not lied or cheated or said anything that offended me but I just feel like "seeing is believing" so I don't trust him 100%. Anyway, he finally got a new laptop and webcam. But he didn't initiate video chat or anything yet. I don't know why. What's going on? Am I imagining things again? Thanks
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