Jump to content

Do Guys Care If They Get Pumped and Dumped?

verhrzn

By verhrzn
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

verhrzn Established Member

verhrzn

Posted
Posted

Let's say a girl and a guy go out on a date. The girl isn't feeling it, but has sex with the guy, and then does the fade out/tells him she just wants to be friends.

 

Now, from what I understand on this forum and other conversations, guys don't seem to really mind this. They seem to really care when they have a female friend who won't put out and they are in the "friend zone." But it seems like as long as the guy gets sex, it doesn't matter too much about getting rejected after.

 

This has also been my experience. In the few instances where I had a FwB, if I stopped calling the guy or seeking him out, he didn't care, because he had gotten what he wanted.

 

In fact, the more I read, the more it seems like this is what guys prefer... being able to just hop from one girl to another, and as long as they get sex, rejection is no big deal.

 

So am I right, or am I missing something? If a guy got sex out of a date, would he really care about the rejection?

  • Like 1
ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
Posted

It depends. If I got pumped and dumped because I was a crap lay, I'm not gonna be happy about it :lmao:.

 

But yes, I'm not averse to a hook-up even if nothing happens afterwards. I have enough emotional control that it won't upset me - at least in the long term. So, no I do not care - unless of course there was some emotional investment involved, at which point I would care.

olivec Established Member

olivec

Posted
Posted
Let's say a girl and a guy go out on a date. The girl isn't feeling it, but has sex with the guy, and then does the fade out/tells him she just wants to be friends.

 

Now, from what I understand on this forum and other conversations, guys don't seem to really mind this. They seem to really care when they have a female friend who won't put out and they are in the "friend zone." But it seems like as long as the guy gets sex, it doesn't matter too much about getting rejected after.

 

This has also been my experience. In the few instances where I had a FwB, if I stopped calling the guy or seeking him out, he didn't care, because he had gotten what he wanted.

 

In fact, the more I read, the more it seems like this is what guys prefer... being able to just hop from one girl to another, and as long as they get sex, rejection is no big deal.

 

So am I right, or am I missing something? If a guy got sex out of a date, would he really care about the rejection?

 

When I was in my 20's i didnt care about it really. However now that i'm in my 30's i dont want that at all and it would piss me off if i started to put investment into the girl. My last girl i dated it seemed thats all she wanted and i got dumped. I'm glad we didnt have sex because it wou;ld of made it worse. I will say this to you sometimes when you do that you pass up on someone great. Bottom line get to know the person before you jump in bed with him. Plus on top of that you dont know the person's history and could have std's.

  • Like 1
  • Author
verhrzn Established Member

verhrzn

Posted
  • Author
Posted
When I was in my 20's i didnt care about it really. However now that i'm in my 30's i dont want that at all and it would piss me off if i started to put investment into the girl. My last girl i dated it seemed thats all she wanted and i got dumped. I'm glad we didnt have sex because it wou;ld of made it worse. I will say this to you sometimes when you do that you pass up on someone great. Bottom line get to know the person before you jump in bed with him. Plus on top of that you dont know the person's history and could have std's.

 

When you say "investment," do you mean money? If you didn't pay for dinner or spent any money on the girl, would you still feel the same?

 

No, I most certainly did not pass up on someone great. If for nothing else, they were FwBs because they didn't want to date.

 

If I ever turn single again, I just wonder if I should turn into the female version of the Player.... just pay for myself at dinner, screw the guys and then move on. Since it seems like guys don't mind it, I don't see the harm.

olivec Established Member

olivec

Posted
Posted
When you say "investment," do you mean money? If you didn't pay for dinner or spent any money on the girl, would you still feel the same?

 

No, I most certainly did not pass up on someone great. If for nothing else, they were FwBs because they didn't want to date.

 

If I ever turn single again, I just wonder if I should turn into the female version of the Player.... just pay for myself at dinner, screw the guys and then move on. Since it seems like guys don't mind it, I don't see the harm.

 

when i say investment i mean getting to know the person, getting out doing things like dinner, sports, etc. i'll put it this way the last girl i dated i wanted to get to know her. unfortunately things ended because i could tell she was in it for a fling which was extremely annoying. if you didn't pass up on someone great why have sex with him thats very foolish especially nowadays with the many std;s running around. but hey if you wanna keep doing that with random guys go ahead.

  • Like 1
carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

Not viewing intimacy in such terms, yeah, I'd consider that kind of behavior (pump and dump) to be disrespectful and insensitive. That said, people are who they are. The more rapidly the incompatible ones leave my space, the more pleasant that space is.

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted
Let's say a girl and a guy go out on a date. The girl isn't feeling it, but has sex with the guy, and then does the fade out/tells him she just wants to be friends.

 

Now, from what I understand on this forum and other conversations, guys don't seem to really mind this. They seem to really care when they have a female friend who won't put out and they are in the "friend zone." But it seems like as long as the guy gets sex, it doesn't matter too much about getting rejected after.

 

This has also been my experience. In the few instances where I had a FwB, if I stopped calling the guy or seeking him out, he didn't care, because he had gotten what he wanted.

 

In fact, the more I read, the more it seems like this is what guys prefer... being able to just hop from one girl to another, and as long as they get sex, rejection is no big deal.

 

So am I right, or am I missing something? If a guy got sex out of a date, would he really care about the rejection?

 

 

FWB sucks....in my opinion........it blurs boundaries..causes confusion and thats th elast thing i need is more confusion.i would prefer to be in a committed relationship that is why once i am with someone there is that distinction.between friend and relationship with a boyfriend..I have dated from my friend zone.....making love only happens in a relationship for me ........and that is why i have been celibate after a few enebriated dates soon after my break up...its just not me......cant do it......wasn't ready to date ....i do believe there are a lot of guys who want just sex and a lot of guys who feel they have to be dishonest to get it that's why i hold the opinion if you don't do fwb you can weed out the time wasters and that feeling you just got used for your body.....don't like it never have..in saying that women do it too thats why some guys are cautious..i dont find casual sex appealing...............deb

  • Like 2
threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

Posted
Posted
Pump and Dump is an investment term.. 100% honest.
Market manipulation whether shell or not, to artificially inflate prices then run with realized profits by selling. Russian mafia used to do this a lot on the pink sheets.

 

Depends on the guy. If he's in it *groans* for the sex, he isn't going to care.

SensitiveTJ Established Member

SensitiveTJ

Posted
Posted

Since I assume every girl who sleeps with me is interested in a relationship, yes I would be upset if she pulled a 180. I don't do one night stands, I don't do FWB, I don't have sex with people I'm not willing to be in an exclusive relationship with. So if a woman did this to me I would feel deceived and be quite upset. Justifiably so, I think.

  • Like 1
GuitarPicker New Member

GuitarPicker

Posted
Posted (edited)

Not me. If I'm really into a girl, I DO mind getting dumped just like everybody else. I think the word choice matters in this respect. "Pumped and dumped" is not the kind of language I would choose to refer to situations involving feelings and people I respect and like. It sounds more like something one would use to describe situations/hook-ups that are about physical sex and nothing else.

Edited by GuitarPicker
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...