Italiangoodguy Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Hi there! In first place, I have to apologize for my english, I'm from Rome, please try to understand me. Here is briefly my last romance. I met this girl at a party when I was still suffering for a previous breakup. We started dating, we kissed on the first date, on the third we were engaged. She is 18 and I'm 21. Things were going great, really, even if we had opposite personalities: she was sunny, outgoing, carefree; I'm thoughtful and sensitive. She is still a child, and this has positive aspects and negative ones. Even our interest were absolutley different: I like art, philosophy, sociology, literature: she never red a book, and she likes to hang out with her friend or watching tv. But this initially was'nt a problem, we were in love, I was her first bf. During the four months of relationship I was many times nervous because I was afraid that she did'nt love me (even if she did, really), I had moments I cried for no reason in front of her, but she allways reassured me (I have been dumped several times, so I was afraid that it was going to happen again). We had a big trouble at the third month, when she discovered that I was hanging out with one of my exes, but I swear I never cheated on her. She was angry because I had promised her that I was'nt to see that girl again. She was allmost dumping me, but then she decided not to. The fourth and last month of relation was weird: sometimes she was really happy with me, passionate, she talked about a future togheter; sometimes she was blue, or apatetic. Two weeks before breakup she told me she was'nt sure that she was in love with me, and that she thought we were too different for being happy togheter. But the next day she said she was wrong, she said that she loved me and I thought that everything was ok for good. The last time I saw her was the evening she dumped me. That day she was allready pissed off because I was in touch with a female friend of mine (we were only friends!!!). We decided to go playing pool with a group of people that I barely knew, they were friends of my ex's friend. They were like 24 years old. A guy of them, a real moron, was way too confident with my ex, and they barely knew each other. I knew that the guy was engaged, but that night I was nervous and gelous, because I was afraid to lose my love. So I got really mad, and I punched him in the face(it's the first time i punched someone). But he was innocent, he was only talking and joking with her (but way too confident). After an hour she decided to dump me, cause she was ashamed for my behaviour, because everyone thought I was a psycho(but I said sorry to that guy), she said that she did'nt love me anymore (even if the day before she said that she was in love with me four times,and everything was fine), and we were too much different. I went home and never called her back. So NC and days since BU are equal, something like 45 days ago. After three days the BU day she was with another guy (really ugly and stupid), her friends told me she took the first guy who was showing some interest in her. And today, she is with this *******, I saw the profile pic of my ex and he kissing each other. Everybody is saying that he is ****, and I'm gold compared to him, but I don't care. I'm keeping the no contact, and trying to cut off mutual friends. Do I have some chances to get her back???? I have this plan: no contact, move on with other women, and try to reinitiate contact next november... Is this a crazy plan?? I think that now I have no chances to get her back, but If I will be strong, confident and a winner, I'm going to get her back! What do you think about this?? I really thank you if you red all this post!! That would be so kind!
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I read your thread and this is what I got: Her-"I don't love you, don't want to be with you, and I'm with someone else" You- "I know you don't want to be with me, I will wait for you, when you're done with his c*ck in your mouth I still want you back." Cut contact, never contact again. She's made it clear, she's with someone else. If she came back now you'd be so filled with anger that it would end within 2 weeks. Try to move on, heal yourself. If she ever comes back you'll have a level headed mindset to make the correct decision, if she ever comes back. If not, you're moving on and improving yourself. You can only control 1 thing in this world, YOU! Read the links in my signature.
Author Italiangoodguy Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 Thank you for your reply. I think your right, but I've been immature with her and I understand her decision. I have some trouble moving on with other women because I don't care of them, they are only a way to heal myself, and I think they feel this and they don't want to be used by me. I'll def read the advice in your signature!
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 It's going to take time to move on with other women so you don't need to rush it, however you need to understand your ex is no longer an option. You no longer have her as a choice. Maybe that will change one day but you can't do anything to change that now. Right now you can only do things that will ensure she will NEVER contact you. Respect her decision, disappear from her life, exit with head held high.... She'll respect you for that in time. I've said this before: think of all of your past relationships, how the relationship ended is usually the first thing that comes to mind.
Author Italiangoodguy Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 Thank you Navy! I've been doing exactly what you are talking about since the breakup day. Though I'm a little bit worried about some mutual friends: I told to a friend of mine that I was suffering after I viewed a picture on facebook where she was kissing her new boyfriend. This information probably arrived to my ex. I did'nt break no contact! But I Know it was a mistake speaking to that guy. Here is the major problem. I am still friend to this girl that is also my ex's friend. I see this girl sometimes, and everytime she tells me something about my ex... I try to be strong and careless. But two weeks ago I prayed her not to tell me anything about her, for good. Navy, do you think this was a good decision?? Or I have to cut off every mutual friend??
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