beautyxo Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. We are exclusive and really care for one another. We get along great. We work through our issues. Great communication. Honest with one another. He's Muslim and I am Christian (Protestant to be exact). However, it never has been an issue. We don't really even talk about it. He is not very strict with his religion but I know his parents are. I know this because they cannot know about me. Which I was perfectly fine with as we are just dating and I know that that is not allowed in Islam. I also know he does some other things against his religion like drink alcohol. The other day we were discussing random things as we normally do when religion came up. He said how it's going to be weird having to find a wife and his parents will most likely be helping him do that. While I was aware that happened, I didn't know his family particularly did that. I asked him about it, not letting on how upset I was to hear this. He said (very non-chalantly I might add) that he would have to marry a Muslim girl originally from his country. Basically meaning even if I converted for him (not saying I would) that it wouldn't matter. They would never accept me and pretty much shun him. I didn't say anything and he never brought it up again. While I know we are no where near marriage, I'm not sure I can continue dating someone that would never be able to be with me, married or not. His family would never accept. It makes me angry at religion. It's supposed to be bringing us together. Not tearing us apart. I told him that if we don't have a future, I'm not sure we should be together. He got angry saying things like "Why can't you enjoy our time together? We don't know what's going to happen. We like each other now, why can't you enjoy that? I'm not leaving you", but I know he will when it comes down to it so why is he saying these things? Am I wrong? Any advice would be great.
puzzled1 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Leave his ass right now! He is stringing you along till he needs to move on. You will be much more attached later and if you know its not gonna work then why be together? End it as soon as possible. 1
flitzanu Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 if you don't ever want to get married and are fine with things, then stay. obviously you're not ok with it...so leave. there's nothing to feel guilty about. there's no future for your relationship, so why waste the time?
mammasita Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 You know without a doubt that he will never marry you, if you're ok with that then stay for the ride until he has to go off and marry a muslim girl from his country. If I were a betting woman, I would bet it would be harder to leave later than it will be to move on now.
LostOne1 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I've seen this happen a lot. I think you're better off leaving him now. Your essentially asking him to leave his parents forever for you.. and while that shows true love. You have to remember it's tough to throw away your family for a person too. If I were you I'd talk to him again, but I'd say the chances are looking low that he would just go against his parents and stick with you. It will hurt more to be with this guy and then one day know hes gone to get married and after that he won't have any contact with you at all. He will just try to push you away once he's married.
Bumaga vsyo sterpit Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I was Muslim born and raised. 'Arab' and Egyptian. Jew-baiting, Holocaust-denying, 9/11-conspiracy theorizing, superstitious, ultraconservative, brain-dead parents and family. By the time I was 14 I knew none of it was true. I'm surprised it took that long. And nothing's more maddening than women like you who cheapen themselves jumping into this deep end of the Bell curve convincing yourselves there's some way to pick up a turd by a clean end. This guy, wherever he comes from - a sweatbox medieval peasant ****hole like Pakistan or Bangladesh is my guess - isn't just from another ideology, he's from another humanity. Just 'cause he likes blowjobs and vodka doesn't change his priorities. You should've known what you were signing up for from the beginning - and if you have a trace of a spine and a brain, thank our desert psychogod you dodged a bullet. 1
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