Men as OLD becomes less taboo are we screwed?

[verhrzn]

I've been played and I've never been berated as you state, nor have I ever seen any kind of talk from intelligent people that anyone "deserves" to be tricked. It's okay if we don't agree, we all have the right to our opinions based on our own experiences, but you seem to be taken this very personally when it's really a discussion about how men feel screwed when it comes to the OLD pool.

 

I just get really sick of how complaints about difficulties in dating for men always seems to morph into a discussion about how women are shallow/have it easy/gold-diggers/ride the cock carousel/too picky/whores/sluts, on and on. It's like it's not even possible to say," I am having difficulty" without blaming the entirety of the female sex.

 

And maybe you've never berated, but have you shared your story on forums like this? A lot of female posters can't seem to even put a toy into the "He was possibly a player" territory without being blasted for somehow being responsible.

 

I am just utterly sick of being told I should be held responsible for someone else's behaviors and difficulties, especially when I have quite enough of my own difficulty to deal with (which guys will immediately shout down and refute.)

[fortyninethousand322]

Here's the thing: an individual's story can be true, even while the generalities are also true.

 

As an aggregate, women could have an easier time dating than men, even as some individual women have it tough.

 

To ascertain whether they actually do have an easier time than men, you'd need a study that I have neither the patience nor the funds to conduct.

 

You also have to keep in mind that certain traits do better in the dating/courtship process than others. My gut tells me that if you're having trouble dating beyond what's typical, it's probably nature trying to weed out your genes...

[River Rain]

but have you shared your story on forums like this? A lot of female posters can't seem to even put a toy into the "He was possibly a player" territory without being blasted for somehow being responsible.

 

Lol...the 1200+ posts I've written on here since I joined a month ago were mainly my thoughts and feelings regarding being played by a man who treated me like crap. I've got one or two angry-bitter replies, but I brush that off because it's from people who are hurt at the time and lashing out at me to compensate for not being able to lash out at their ex's, so why do I care? Overall, I've gotten a lot of support from both men and women.

[dasein]

I read an article. That said OLD is becoming less taboo and more women are doing it. Infact, this article claimed it was 2nd or 3rd after meeting through mutal friends (I don't remember if it was 2nd or 3rd but that's close). TBS we all know that men struggle online unless they are very good looking. The average/cute men can't get dates from average/cute women becuase she gets a lot of attentiona and why would she go out with an average guy if she can get dates from a better looking man? So are we screwed? I'm gonna have to pick up my bar game becasue I have know where else to meet women.

 

Look at it this way, one of the reasons that OLD has been difficult for lots of men is that not enough women had accepted it yet, lots of men had, few women. This inevitably leads to the imbalance lots complain about. If that imbalance lessens, it's a good thing, right?

 

Women IME tend to have a cherry popping experience doing OLD where they get used by the top top profiles and do learn they need to be more realistic in what they are seeking. So while more women OLD at first may mean more for the top 5% guys, over time it evens out. Some of the women will nix OLD after being pumpndump by Dr.DreamyMcTheone, some won't, and will stick around with more reasonable expectations.

Edited November 6, 2012 by dasein

[Drseussgrrl]

What's all this pump n' dump talk.

 

Some women like having sex too, for the hell of it.

 

I guess you could say I pumped and dumped a dude from OLD. We hung out a few times, had sex, I wasn't feeling it so said thanks but no thanks.

 

*shrugs*

[fortyninethousand322]

What's all this pump n' dump talk.

 

Some women like having sex too, for the hell of it.

 

I guess you could say I pumped and dumped a dude from OLD. We hung out a few times, had sex, I wasn't feeling it so said thanks but no thanks.

 

*shrugs*

 

Yeah I would hate that. That's why I suggest that men wait before introducing sex into the relationship (say 6 months or so) to avoid letting sex dictate things.

[dasein]

What's all this pump n' dump talk.

 

Some women like having sex too, for the hell of it.

 

I guess you could say I pumped and dumped a dude from OLD. We hung out a few times, had sex, I wasn't feeling it so said thanks but no thanks.

 

*shrugs*

 

OKay, I'm sure there are women who use OLD for NSA, but there are indeed lots of people seeking relationships from OLD as opposed to NSA, probably a vast majority. There are plenty of NSA sites out there too.

[Lonely Ronin]

I've got one or two angry-bitter replies, but I brush that off because it's from people who are hurt at the time and lashing out at me to compensate for not being able to lash out at their ex's, so why do I care?

 

V isn't so good at recognizing members like this. I strait up ignore the responses of some posters, because i know they are trolls just looking to get under someones skin.

[SJC2008]

Look at it this way, one of the reasons that OLD has been difficult for lots of men is that not enough women had accepted it yet, lots of men had, few women. This inevitably leads to the imbalance lots complain about. If that imbalance lessens, it's a good thing, right?

 

Women IME tend to have a cherry popping experience doing OLD where they get used by the top top profiles and do learn they need to be more realistic in what they are seeking. So while more women OLD at first may mean more for the top 5% guys, over time it evens out. Some of the women will nix OLD after being pumpndump by Dr.DreamyMcTheone, some won't, and will stick around with more reasonable expectations.

 

Great point Dasien and in all honesty that's probably the majority of the problem, too many men vying for a few women. On match (cancelled but can still log in) there are about 327 more men than woman about a 60/40 split men to women, the cloest any site will get to being balanced because it's a paid site. I searched both ways to see and I did 26-32, caucasian, never married, any relgion with an associates or higher education. On POF (currently on it) there are 471 men and 142 women! I did white, 26-32 but within 10 milies becasue 15 and 25 pulled up 600+ men and I wanted and exact number so narrowed the range. Anyay that's a 23% women and 77% men when you add the pool together.

[sweetkiwi]

i had a pof profile. I'm pretty attractive, petite, and a woman so i got lots of guys writing me. Most said- hi how are you.

 

Then some asked me about my profile or made a made a joke. Those were the ones i ended up talking to. The ones who made the effort, not the tall rich white guy. One was. I dated a tall rich white older guy that i met in real life first.

 

But that was the only one. I went out on dates with three guys. All under 5ft 6, and normal attractive, one was even super cute! Two got weird on me and wanted a relationship, with me, right away. One never called.

 

I didn't sleep with any of them. I kissed one. So i'm sure there are the pumpers and dumpers i don't know. I never gave the player looking guys a chance.

 

I left because its easy to hide behind a computer and irl be a weirdo. I prefer meeting guys out. Or through mutual friends.

[Necris]

Whenever the topic of online dating comes up I always like to show

, if you do the things this video shows you will succeed, you'd need guts first but if you have them you should do very well.

 

Unfortunately I haven't even tried OLD (sounds like a huge waste of time) and I rather try to meet women around me though I always fail, should I try OLD?

[River Rain]

Whenever the topic of online dating comes up I always like to show

, if you do the things this video shows you will succeed, you'd need guts first but if you have them you should do very well.

 

Unfortunately I haven't even tried OLD (sounds like a huge waste of time) and I rather try to meet women around me though I always fail, should I try OLD?

 

You really have nothing to lose. I mean, I highly doubt I'll find my match that way, but it's good social experience at any rate.

[CptSaveAho]

Yeah I would hate that. That's why I suggest that men wait before introducing sex into the relationship (say 6 months or so) to avoid letting sex dictate things.

 

Please for the love of god tell me you are not a male.............

[iris219]

The average/cute men can't get dates from average/cute women becuase she gets a lot of attentiona and why would she go out with an average guy if she can get dates from a better looking man?

 

Because it's not just about looks; it's about compatibility.

[fortyninethousand322]

Please for the love of god tell me you are not a male.............

 

Of course I'm a guy. What are you trying to say?...

[River Rain]

Because it's not just about looks; it's about compatibility.

 

I think it really depends on the woman. For me, yes, definitely it's about compatibility, but looks are also important to me. But again, my version of handsome is different from other women's.