Date with ex boyfriend this week. What do you think?

[Addison312]

We dated for 6 months and it was a healthy, mature, respectful relationship. We are both early 30s, never married/no kids. My family adores him, as do I. He is in a stressful program going back to school again, showed signs of depression the last month and he withdrew. He broke up with me and that was about 6 weeks ago. He said he couldn't commit to a relationship at the moment, but cares about me a lot. It hurt and I haven't been able to even consider moving on.

Since the breakup, he has texted a few times, wishing me a good time on a weekend trip I took and happy halloween, happy birthday... I did invite him over about 3 weeks ago to talk, which at first he agreed to, but then he bailed on me, claiming he had too much studying to do.

A few days ago he called, left a message, and asked if I wanted to get dinner this weekend. I called him back yesterday and we chatted and I said that sounded fun. What do you think his intentions are?

I've begun to feel a little better daily and I don't want to go backwards by seeing him and feeling terrible again, but anything in life that you want is worth a chance. Love is a risk.

-A

[flitzanu]

sounds like the other girl he wanted to see didn't pan out, so he's coming back for you. my advice is to not sleep with him, but certainly go have fun.

[Addison312]

I'm ready for that possibility. I'm not expecting anything really. Maybe I'll get that elusive "closure" if nothing else. Part of me hopes that he is feeling mentally better and realizes he shouldn't throw us away.

I think I'll just go be myself and have a good time.

[Addison312]

sounds like the other girl he wanted to see didn't pan out, so he's coming back for you. my advice is to not sleep with him, but certainly go have fun.

 

When we broke up he said he was not going to date anyone else. It was more of an "I'm overwhelmed and can't give you the time you deserve" type of thing. He's not a douche. NOT sleeping with him is obvious.

[flitzanu]

When we broke up he said he was not going to date anyone else. It was more of an "I'm overwhelmed and can't give you the time you deserve" type of thing. He's not a douche. NOT sleeping with him is obvious.

 

that's what my ex gf's would say too when they left me for other guys.

 

just saying, don't presume it isn't a possibility, and don't be a consolation prize.

[veggirl]

Honestly I'd ask what it is he is wanting to achieve by dinner, before I went.

 

I read that in another thread (I think Gibson said it) and I think it's great.

 

if I hear from my ex again, I am going to ask him what it is he wants to accomplish by contacting me.

[Addison312]

I know what I want and what I deserve. If the two things don't match at the end of the day, I will decide to move on. I am just going to see what happens, if he says anything, and to see him again. I really do miss him and neither of us have played games with the other at any point.

[Addison312]

I considered asking, but I think maybe asking at the end of the night is a better scenario.

Edited November 6, 2012 by Addison312

[Addison312]

How long ago? Are you two LDR? I wish you both luck and patience.

Thanks for writing that. I try to put myself in his shoes and I know he didn't plan on hurting me. He was looking out for himself and knew he wasn't in a good place. When we spoke last night he said he's feeling much better. I am relieved and happy for him no matter what happens. Even if we aren't meant to work things out, he is still a very good person.

[Addison312]

May I ask why you broke up? When you two were together did you speak about his problems or just enjoy each others' company? I feel slightly nervous about seeing him again. Like a first date nervous!

[Addison312]

Well that took me some time to read! Sounds like you're keeping the door open, enjoying each others' company, and that only time will tell what happens. I'm sorry to hear what you're going through though. I wish you all the best to get your health back on track.