thr1986 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 We're 26, and have a long distance relationship that is forming into something where she wants to move to where I live and I want her to come to me. I met her on a vacation visiting my sister, she's my sisters friend, and we hit it off and have been talking ever since. We just have a real genuine connectin. She has come to visit me a number of times, usually once a month. We have told one another that were loyal to eachother and I have been. When I first met her there was a guy writing on her wall, someone who lives where she lives. Flirty things, and she responded with flirty responses. I assumed that they were involved when I met. The wall posts stopped but now reappear as comments to her posts ect. I asked her about him and she said he was her friends guy that ended up being gay? Seems far fetched. Also another guy posted something and I asked her about him also. Do I look stupid and have I done damage? How should I proceed? Thanks!!!
Author thr1986 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 Also, her girlfriend (the girl that she said this guy was seeing) was included in the posts he made. They were thins like: Guy: I better party with you and ::her girlfriends name inserted:: tomorrow night! My girlfriend: oh we will darling! Your adorable" Her girlfriend: you guys are cute I it just seems like the banter was between her and the guy, why would she tell me he was seeing her friend...just strange
River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Just from what you wrote, I think you're overreacting a little bit. It's okay to ask who so and so is, but she told you nothing was going on, if she hasn't given you any reason to distrust her in the past, then you may be looking for trouble if you persist. Try not to obsess too much on fb either, it's a relationship killer at times.
Author thr1986 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 the thing is that I do trust her. I'm not sure why I acted jealous. there have been a few instances lately where i've probably acted jealous and she has picked up on it im sure. As a girl who genuinely likes a guy, how do you react to him acting jealous. I know I need to cut it out and thats what I am planning on doing, but in terms of what I have already done. how would you react to that, as a girl who genuinely likes someone?
River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 the thing is that I do trust her. I'm not sure why I acted jealous. there have been a few instances lately where i've probably acted jealous and she has picked up on it im sure. As a girl who genuinely likes a guy, how do you react to him acting jealous. I know I need to cut it out and thats what I am planning on doing, but in terms of what I have already done. how would you react to that, as a girl who genuinely likes someone? A little jealousy is natural in relationships because you want your partner to only have eyes for you. But realistically, and especially when people are on social media sites, there is a lot of communication back and forth with all sorts of people. A lot of the time, we read more into it than we should, because they are just words. Honestly, I did go out with a very jealous guy. When you're jealous it IS about not trusting the other person. When my ex-bf would act jealous, I was pretty hurt because I was always faithful and loving to him, but I felt like no matter what I did or said, he would never trust me. It made me want to walk on eggshells around him too. It eventually turned into resentment and it was over. If you think she's picked up on it, then maybe just have an honest talk with her. Tell her you do trust her, and that you won't be that guy, the jealous guy. You know, it's very freeing to rid yourself of jealousy. I applaud you for wanting to stop it.
Author thr1986 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 She has not said anything about me being jealous, I just think she probably has picked up on it. Do you think I should just stop the little suddelties making me look jealous and act like it never happened or do you definitely think I should bring it up and tell her I trust her.
River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 She has not said anything about me being jealous, I just think she probably has picked up on it. Do you think I should just stop the little suddelties making me look jealous and act like it never happened or do you definitely think I should bring it up and tell her I trust her. It never hurts to be honest. If she's picked up on your jealousy, it's a red flag for her. Just turn the tables, you'd know by her behaviour if she were being jealous right? You could just bring it up casually, like...hope I didn't come off as jealous, I want you to know I trust you...or something like that. If you just let it go, it might not be such a big deal, make sure you don't get jealous again though.
todreaminblue Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 the thing is that I do trust her. I'm not sure why I acted jealous. there have been a few instances lately where i've probably acted jealous and she has picked up on it im sure. As a girl who genuinely likes a guy, how do you react to him acting jealous. I know I need to cut it out and thats what I am planning on doing, but in terms of what I have already done. how would you react to that, as a girl who genuinely likes someone? If a guy i liked was jealous and i knew it i would do my best to reassure him he didn't need to be i would understand it if it was something i had written on a wall.Because sometimes my friendliness gets misinterpreted as flirting....and my flirting gets misinterpreted as just friendliness with guys i am attracted to......its a fine line between both.I would just be honest with how you feel and don't simmer away there, over thinking words written on a wall....get it out in the open without throwing blame just say how you feel before it festers......jealousy becomes ugly, manipulative and controlling then its easier to just nip it in the bud before it blooms and takes over..best wishes....deb
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