Imajerk17 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Seriously, whatever works for you. As long as you are happy or OK with how your decisions turn out and your needs are being met, then who is to judge... 1
Author AsItIs Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 When you told me in another thread that you were getting collared, I knew it was a mistake. I am in a M/s relationship and wearing a Master's collar is not an action to be taken lightly. You agreed to be collared after one date??? No, no, no... You really should STOP even trying to date for a while. There is a whole level of being in a M/s relationship to which you seem to be clueless. Have you discussed hard limits or a safe word? As a slave, what is expected of you? As a Master (other than monogamy), what is expected of him? As a proper slave, it is not your responsibility to police him. But if it were a true M/s relationship, you wouldn't have to. Sounds like you are just playing at it, but don't really understand what you are doing. Thanks CarrieT! You are right, I don't know everything being in this kind of relationship entails but I have been reading more about it & I think I would love it.He has not collared me yet though.HeeHe said I have to earn it.My job is to serve him & his is to protect me & guide me & discipline me,when needed.
SmileFace Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 I really don't understand why you are labeling this as something it is not. You both are two people who enjoy bdsm/role playing - nothing you have mentioned is any where near the realms of Master/Slave relationship. You are just trying to find a way to lock him into a exclusivity - with the hopes that it will end in a relationship. 2
Author AsItIs Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 I really don't understand why you are labeling this as something it is not. You both are two people who enjoy bdsm/role playing - nothing you have mentioned is any where near the realms of Master/Slave relationship. You are just trying to find a way to lock him into a exclusivity - with the hopes that it will end in a relationship. With all due respect, I'm not labeling it as someting it's not.We have agreed to this & he has punished me severely & rewarded me like I've never experienced & I love it.
SmileFace Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 With all due respect, I'm not labeling it as someting it's not.We have agreed to this & he has punished me very & rewarded me like I've never experienced & I love it. I am not saying that you both aren't role playing but it isn't a relationship. You don't have to agree that is just how I see it. 2
FitChick Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 I'm not gonna lie....I logged on to spy on him! That was pretty stupid since I believe you can spy on him without logging on. 1
CarrieT Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 With all due respect, I'm not labeling it as someting it's not.We have agreed to this & he has punished me severely & rewarded me like I've never experienced & I love it. No - SmileFace is right. You guys are just playing at D/s but are nowhere near being emotionally ready to enter a M/s agreement. You are looking for an exclusive relationship with some BDSM spice thrown in. YOU SHOULD NOT BE EVEN CONSIDERING A M/s RELATIONSHIP!!! 2
FitChick Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 When I read the title of this thread I picture a German Shepherd leaping over the back yard fence. 6
Author AsItIs Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 That was pretty stupid since I believe you can spy on him without logging on. FitChick...PLEASE tell me your secret! Lol! I don't know of any other way to see if he's logged on, except for logging in myself & going into the "sent messages" page, where it shows his old messages.Just looking at the profile logged off does not say his status.
snowflakes88 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 He could be on POF looking for someone to date. He agreed not to have sex with other women - not to not SEE other women. Plenty of people keep an exclusive FWB while they continue to look for someone to legitimately date. Also, this behavior is completely consistent with everything he told you right upfront. Not sure why you are surprised/upset by it. 2
SmileFace Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 What the bleep is a M/s relationship? Master/slave 1
GorillaTheater Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 What the bleep is a M/s relationship? Shut up. And put on this nurse's outfit. 6
Divasu Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Ah thanks for the clarification. Kind of like that jazz in Pulp Fiction...No thanks, can't help.
Author AsItIs Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 (edited) Well... I'm ashamed of myself already so, I hope you guys don't insult me (as some of you seem to love doing) All day, this guy has been online & I finally hear from him just now.This has been the first day that he has not texted me throughout the day too, so I began feeling really sh*tty as it is. I planned on dumping him before he could dump me but, now that it's already 7pm (my time) & I've had time to think about it (even though I'm sure he could care less) I'm just going to go radio silent on him. He finally texted me "Was my girl good today?" Like I said - I'm sure it doesn't affect him much (or maybe not at all) whether I reply or not but I think that's the best way to end this. I wish it would cause him to feel a little rejected but I doubt it will. *Lesson learned-I need to take things slow! Thanks again to everyone who took the time out to post.I appreciate it! Edited November 7, 2012 by AsItIs
Drseussgrrl Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I'm confused. You're going to ignore him because he was on POF and didn't text you til later in the day? I'm not seeing where he did anything wrong. I'll say it again, hun. You have GOT to be up front about what it is you're looking for and what you want. It's very confusing to a man when you present yourself as someone who just wants to have a FWB sitch that includes kinky sex, then falls off the radar because you saw him logged on to POF. You're not getting what you want because you're settling for a lot less right up front, then getting disappointed when the dude doesn't start acting like your boyfriend. Please take sex and weed off the table, and start only accepting real dates. 1
Author AsItIs Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 I'm confused. You're going to ignore him because he was on POF and didn't text you til later in the day? I'm not seeing where he did anything wrong. I'll say it again, hun. You have GOT to be up front about what it is you're looking for and what you want. It's very confusing to a man when you present yourself as someone who just wants to have a FWB sitch that includes kinky sex, then falls off the radar because you saw him logged on to POF. You're not getting what you want because you're settling for a lot less right up front, then getting disappointed when the dude doesn't start acting like your boyfriend. Please take sex and weed off the table, and start only accepting real dates. Thanks Drseussgrrl, I will seriously take your advice about not smoking weed & hanging for a first few dates in the future.I guess the reason I thought it was okay was because, my ex & I smoked on our first date & I hung at his house on the 2nd date & had sex on the third date.(All in a matter of 3 days)We hung basically every single day right off the bat because we had such an intense chemistry. And yes...I was considering ignoring him because he was on POF all day & he specifically promised not to f*ck other girls.I know we didn't say seeing other girls but, any guy who respects me would have that basic understanding.What I didn't mention in my thread before, was that he basically forced his penis in me without a condom.I was on my period & his jeans got stained with blood.Then afterward,we went out & proudly wore the bloody pants in public.The next day I was freaking out so I asked him what his medication is for in the bathroom.He takes adderal & a high blood pressure med but I got scared cause I thought it was a herpes med.It wasn't but I'm still getting checked for stds. I knew he was not ready for a relationship.This is the same guy who told me he wants to be friends with no sex cause his ex dumped him & he's not over it.We have too much in common & I was in his stage a few moths ago.I knew no matter what,I would just be a rebound.We weren't supposed to have sex but we had an intense chemistry when we met & it just felt too amazing to not go with the flow. I'm thinking of telling him that we are probably too much alike in some aspects & I (or possibly both of us) can get emotionally murdered (more than we both already are,that is)But I just don't know if it's even worth the effort to try to tell him that.
SmileFace Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Thanks Drseussgrrl, I will seriously take your advice about not smoking weed & hanging for a first few dates in the future.I guess the reason I thought it was okay was because, my ex & I smoked on our first date & I hung at his house on the 2nd date & had sex on the third date.(All in a matter of 3 days)We hung basically every single day right off the bat because we had such an intense chemistry. And yes...I was considering ignoring him because he was on POF all day & he specifically promised not to f*ck other girls.I know we didn't say seeing other girls but, any guy who respects me would have that basic understanding.What I didn't mention in my thread before, was that he basically forced his penis in me without a condom.I was on my period & his jeans got stained with blood.Then afterward,we went out & proudly wore the bloody pants in public.The next day I was freaking out so I asked him what his medication is for in the bathroom.He takes adderal & a high blood pressure med but I got scared cause I thought it was a herpes med.It wasn't but I'm still getting checked for stds. I knew he was not ready for a relationship.This is the same guy who told me he wants to be friends with no sex cause his ex dumped him & he's not over it.We have too much in common & I was in his stage a few moths ago.I knew no matter what,I would just be a rebound.We weren't supposed to have sex but we had an intense chemistry when we met & it just felt too amazing to not go with the flow. I'm thinking of telling him that we are probably too much alike in some aspects & I (or possibly both of us) can get emotionally murdered (more than we both already are,that is)But I just don't know if it's even worth the effort to try to tell him that. What.....the faq? The period blood episode is the master guy or your ex?
Author AsItIs Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 What.....the faq? The period blood episode is the master guy or your ex? This is the master guy.He ate my blood too.
SmileFace Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 This is the master guy.He ate my blood too. This is beyond sick. You both need more than a STD test. 2
Emilia Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Kind of like that jazz in Pulp Fiction...No thanks, can't help. I'm guessing without the anal rape and the shotgun shot in the genitalia at the end of the scene 1
Emilia Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 This is beyond sick. You both need more than a STD test. Ooops maybe I was wrong in my previous post
Author AsItIs Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 When I asked him about the pills names' he told me, & then I Googled them to make sure he was telling the truth.He told me I was "very bad for snooping & I that I needed to be punished for that." I told him "I wasn't snooping,they were sitting right there on the bathroom counter". He then said that "I could look into everything in his house" & he told me he has "nothing bad to hide & that he would punish me everytime I couldn't find anything." I basically took that as we would not be looking for other people on POF.But like someone else had already mentioned,the Master can always manipulate the situation in their own favor & my jealousy can not handle the thought of someone I'm having sex with, looking to date or have sex with others.
BetheButterfly Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 When I asked him about the pills names' he told me, & then I Googled them to make sure he was telling the truth.He told me I was "very bad for snooping & I that I needed to be punished for that." I told him "I wasn't snooping,they were sitting right there on the bathroom counter". He then said that "I could look into everything in his house" & he told me he has "nothing bad to hide & that he would punish me everytime I couldn't find anything." I basically took that as we would not be looking for other people on POF.But like someone else had already mentioned,the Master can always manipulate the situation in their own favor & my jealousy can not handle the thought of someone I'm having sex with, looking to date or have sex with others. Asitis, I don't understand this idea about Master/slave. As a person who greatly admires abolitionists, I have to say it disturbs me. Sure it's awesome to have rough sex with a man you love and who loves you, but you don't have to call him master or he has to "punish" you what the blank is that? Is that what you really want? Masters don't follow rules. You know why? They make the rules. So, you're trying to get him to abide by a certain guideline doesn't make sense if you consider him truly your "master." Also, a slave doesn't go around spying on his master, unless he/she is working for someone else too. I think you personally need to get to know a guy much better as friends first and see if he's the kind of guy who you want to submit to or not. Even though I'm all for submission in some cases (though not all the time) it's good to make sure he is worthy of that, you know? 1
Author AsItIs Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 (edited) What really kind of sucks is that I knew I should have waited to have sex & he knew it too.He even said "We have a bond. I don't want to do too much too soon, cause I want to build our bond" He said "that way,we won't abandon each other"...and I'm using that against him, I guess? But because of that "bond", I'm secretly hoping he'll contact me again soon, so maybe I could just get my finalty, by telling him we are both too stubburn & probably the fact that we're both the same kind of narcissists(we're both a mixture of cerebral & somatic narcissists) it will always make us bump heads. I know, I know! I need a TEAM of therapists! Edited November 7, 2012 by AsItIs
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