River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 The ups and downs are really messing with me. Ex disappeared on me last Thursday, never called me back or answered my emails...so as not to be a doormat again, I broke up with him on Saturday. He wouldn't answer the phone, so I had to send the dump email...I really resent him for it, because I welcomed him back with an open heart and he promised he'd not withdraw on me like that again. I'm disappointed that I can't seem to handle the emotional stress as well as I thought I could. I'm a blubbering mess most of the time and engaging in behaviours I haven't done in many years. I was so close to the edge last night that it scared me. I know I feel worse because of his disappearing act, and that it's the second time he's done it, causing the meltdown of the relationship. I didn't have this tough of a time in September, and it puzzles me why it's so dire this time around. I know I need to stay distracted, take care of myself and let the emotions run their course. I know he's too much of a coward to even say he is sorry. I feel so alone these days, it's wearing me down. 2
Sokar23 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 The ups and downs are really messing with me. Ex disappeared on me last Thursday, never called me back or answered my emails...so as not to be a doormat again, I broke up with him on Saturday. He wouldn't answer the phone, so I had to send the dump email...I really resent him for it, because I welcomed him back with an open heart and he promised he'd not withdraw on me like that again. I'm disappointed that I can't seem to handle the emotional stress as well as I thought I could. I'm a blubbering mess most of the time and engaging in behaviours I haven't done in many years. I was so close to the edge last night that it scared me. I know I feel worse because of his disappearing act, and that it's the second time he's done it, causing the meltdown of the relationship. I didn't have this tough of a time in September, and it puzzles me why it's so dire this time around. I know I need to stay distracted, take care of myself and let the emotions run their course. I know he's too much of a coward to even say he is sorry. I feel so alone these days, it's wearing me down. Maybe because deep down you thought this time would be different?? I should think that after giving somebody a second chance the pain would be worse but still well done for giving it a go, now you know for sure that it's one door that can stay closed now forever, you will become stronger than this. As for dealing with the feeling of being alone I still have not worked that one out as I am very much feeling the same I just try and think it will not be like this forever and for both of us it seems it is still very early days, we will get there though chin up
Author River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 Maybe because deep down you thought this time would be different?? I should think that after giving somebody a second chance the pain would be worse but still well done for giving it a go, now you know for sure that it's one door that can stay closed now forever, you will become stronger than this. As for dealing with the feeling of being alone I still have not worked that one out as I am very much feeling the same I just try and think it will not be like this forever and for both of us it seems it is still very early days, we will get there though chin up Thank you Yes, I definitely thought it would be different this time because he convinced me during our marathon 7-hour conversation how things would be different...his actions proved to be contrary to his words. Yes, the door is shut, sealed, glued, cemented, lol...never again with this one! But I don't regret it, because I do believe in second chances, it just didn't work for us. You're right, it won't be like this forever, I mean, I do feel better than I did this morning, and this morning I felt better than I did last night. We will get through it, you chin up too
Sokar23 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Thank you Yes, I definitely thought it would be different this time because he convinced me during our marathon 7-hour conversation how things would be different...his actions proved to be contrary to his words. Yes, the door is shut, sealed, glued, cemented, lol...never again with this one! But I don't regret it, because I do believe in second chances, it just didn't work for us. You're right, it won't be like this forever, I mean, I do feel better than I did this morning, and this morning I felt better than I did last night. We will get through it, you chin up too I tend to agree with you about second chances, I personally would not give my ex a second chance but I guess that is kinda different. I would however prefer to give a second chance than wondering what if? every single day that would be a lot worse I think. For the most part I am happy (ish) only have a meltdown once a day instead of twice.. lol progress is progress though
Author River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 I tend to agree with you about second chances, I personally would not give my ex a second chance but I guess that is kinda different. I would however prefer to give a second chance than wondering what if? every single day that would be a lot worse I think. For the most part I am happy (ish) only have a meltdown once a day instead of twice.. lol progress is progress though Once-a-day-meltdown isn't bad I only had two today. And I don't plan on having a third! It's life you know? It's so awesome to be in love. But when it's fleeting, gosh, that more than stings. But new love is always on the horizon, and I live by that code. I never thought I'd give him a second chance, but in the moment it seemed like it could have had more potential. I'm really forgiving, so it didn't sit right with me to out-rule it altogether, but it all depends on the circumstances of each person too.
Sokar23 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Once-a-day-meltdown isn't bad I only had two today. And I don't plan on having a third! It's life you know? It's so awesome to be in love. But when it's fleeting, gosh, that more than stings. But new love is always on the horizon, and I live by that code. I never thought I'd give him a second chance, but in the moment it seemed like it could have had more potential. I'm really forgiving, so it didn't sit right with me to out-rule it altogether, but it all depends on the circumstances of each person too. Yeah indeed just how life is, I am very much holding on to the fact that I get to meet someone and fall in love all over again nothing like that feeling one thing to look forward to in life. It's very good that even though you have had bad experiences you are still really forgiving good that you still stay who you are no matter what happens think I need to take a leaf out of your book 1
Sarahbee Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 Sorry to hear that he's done it to you again River Rain. I had a bf like that once and I foolishly gave him more chances, because I knew deep down that he loved me, and it was external factors (and his own cowardice) that prevented him from being with me. (He went back to his old life and has since had a major heart attack - go figure!). I was so heartbroken I was sure it was going to kill me, but I survived and have loved again....that didn't work either but I've learned so much from both of them that I'm funnily enough more confident of finding love now than I've ever been before. And that's because I've learned from the experiences what I need and don't need, and I know now what to seek and what to run from! You will find peace now, as you've drawn a line at his behaviour and there's no going back. That can only help you move on, painful and distressing as it feels now. You sound like a deep and compassionate person, I'm sure you'll find someone else when you're ready to. In the meantime take good care of yourself :-)
Author River Rain Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 Sorry to hear that he's done it to you again River Rain. I had a bf like that once and I foolishly gave him more chances, because I knew deep down that he loved me, and it was external factors (and his own cowardice) that prevented him from being with me. (He went back to his old life and has since had a major heart attack - go figure!). I was so heartbroken I was sure it was going to kill me, but I survived and have loved again....that didn't work either but I've learned so much from both of them that I'm funnily enough more confident of finding love now than I've ever been before. And that's because I've learned from the experiences what I need and don't need, and I know now what to seek and what to run from! You will find peace now, as you've drawn a line at his behaviour and there's no going back. That can only help you move on, painful and distressing as it feels now. You sound like a deep and compassionate person, I'm sure you'll find someone else when you're ready to. In the meantime take good care of yourself :-) Thank you Sarahbee. Yours sounds like my ex, with regards to the cowardice. I really felt last night that it was going to kill me, but I stayed strong. There is no going back now with him for sure. I've been through so much in my life, and this has not been the hardest to deal with, but still quite challenging. I know there is a worthy guy out there and I'll find him. I'm certainly not giving up hope, but gosh does this hurt right now.
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