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Friends of the opposite sex when in a relationship....

mammasita

By mammasita
in General Relationship Discussion

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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What are your thoughts about hanging out with a friend(s) of the opposite sex without your SO?

 

I know that opinions on this vary with younger generations seeing it as a non-issue. Personally, I don't think its OK. I would not like it if my SO told me he was going to hang out one on one with a female friend. I don't care if he's known her longer than me. On the same note, I would never go hang out one on one with another man.

 

Maybe I watch too much Cheaters :D. What do you think?

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Carenth Established Member

Carenth

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Non-issue for me I would never want to be with someone who is so controlling they decide who I can and can't be friends with. It shows to me a great lack of trust and jealous nature which is not something I find attractive at all.

 

It's not like I would be seeing these friends anywhere near as much time I spend with my SO but yes I do have platonic female friends and I apoligise to no one for that.

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Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Non-issue for me I would never want to be with someone who is so controlling they decide who I can and can't be friends with. It shows to me a great lack of trust and jealous nature which is not something I find attractive at all.

 

It's not like I would be seeing these friends anywhere near as much time I spend with my SO but yes I do have platonic female friends and I apoligise to no one for that.

 

100%. I have some very good male friends I have known for several years and I wouldn't date a man who would have issue with that. It would never occure to me to try to stop him from spending time with his female friends.

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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I can respect that. I know that when I was younger, late teens and 20's I felt the same way.

 

Now that I'm older though (and this is my opinion), I don't see it having a place in a relationship. I'm not saying don't be friends and never hang out, I'm just saying it shouldn't be one on one.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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I can respect that. I know that when I was younger, late teens and 20's I felt the same way.

 

Now that I'm older though (and this is my opinion), I don't see it having a place in a relationship. I'm not saying don't be friends and never hang out, I'm just saying it shouldn't be one on one.

 

I'm older too, I'm 40 and in my eyes being your own person and not giving up who you are and those that matter to you are more important than ever before. Personally, I am way less tolerant of men who try to control aspects of my life than when I was younger.

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MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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What are your thoughts about hanging out with a friend(s) of the opposite sex without your SO?

 

I know that opinions on this vary with younger generations seeing it as a non-issue. Personally, I don't think its OK. I would not like it if my SO told me he was going to hang out one on one with a female friend. I don't care if he's known her longer than me. On the same note, I would never go hang out one on one with another man.

 

Maybe I watch too much Cheaters :D. What do you think?

 

I think the point is: transparency. Making your actions visible and above board and shunning the appearance of wrong doing and also avoiding compromising situations. So many people "end up in affairs" for the simple fact of not having boundaries.

 

I don't have male friends who are super close that I hang out with one on one. Most of them are guys I hang out with in a group setting or we call each other, but it's not like I'm at their house watching movies or such things that could potentially become more.

 

In a relationship i practice transparency, introducing my guy to any male friends so he has no reason to think I'm doing anything sketchy. I, as well as my friends, practice common decency. When my male friends have gfs, if I'd normally call/text at 2am to ask something, I no longer do it, just to respect their situation.Likewise, if I'm in a relationship I'd probably not have other males call me at 2 am and so on. Makes life a lot easier and being above board fosters trust. So it's just about transparency for me and it's not a situation of "I am banning you from female friends" :rolleyes:. You can have as many female friends as you wish so long as I feel like you act in an above board, transparent manner.

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