luvdnlost Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 (edited) This is my first post on here, but am a long time lurker; but i feel the need to post my situation, thanks in advance for everyones opinions. Background: Started dating this girl in Sep 2011, things started fizzling out in around April 2012. Since i wasn't feeling happy and didn't think she was either, i ended things around this time. I ended it after we got in a little fight and she wouldn't speak with me for a few days. Im 28 and she's 25 and i felt that not communication was childish and the antithesis to wanting to make our relationship work, at the time i felt that she gave up on us, even-though it was her way of dealing with things. Before even trying to talk to her or see her in person i sent her a nasty text saying that i was done with this - GIGS, i guess. So i kinda was the one to end things. Remorse set in and i let her know that i wanted her back, she said she needed her time and space so i respected her and backed off. After that we were in limited contact, ie sporadic texts but never really talk on the phone. In Aug sometime we actually met up since i was near she worked and we met up and had dinner, i was clearly in her friendzone and though i still missed her and wanted her to want to make things work again with us, sadly i dont think she wanted the same. She also had a guy she was seeing but nothing that serious - she moved on. I thought fk im in the friendzone and i need to leave this girl alone and move on. However, recently we had been sporadically texting, nothing serious mostly due to us liking the same baseball team and them winning the World Series - Go Giants !! On halloween we texted one another seeing what we where doing, and she was venting about how her friend was a b**** and ruined her night. I asked her to cheer up and to come to my city if she wanted to kick it, just to be friendly..... Though i have since moved on i cant help but to think and wornder, i miss this girl and liked her a lot. Today: Had been planning on calling her and asking her out finally mustered up the courage to do so.... since im one of those that rather face rejection than regret, i was thinking what's the worst that could happen, right! Well fk the one day i decide to call her she is all sad over this one guy that kinda rejected her after finding some personal things about her past, which she willingly disclosed, the last thing i wanted to do was consoled her, since it ain't my job anymore, however being the Gentlemen i am i listened and we talked for awhile... What originally had been an attempt to ask her out for lunch or coffee ie QUICK ended up being an hour - though it felt nice to talk to her and im sure she felt the same way in the back of my head im thinking i couldn't have had worse timing. Anyways it ended with her asking why it was i wanted to talk to her about and i answered her truthfully; though making it known to her that i understand if she didn't want to meet since this was, clearly, a bad time for her. She want's to meet and hang but the timing, huh I wanted to get opinions and need input on how to move with this. BTW, while we where talking i made it clear to her that my intent is not to be friends with her but to go out hoping things transpire to something more, either way i dont think she is in a place for a relationship, which is ok by me, maybe just looking for a clean slate and see where things may head.. Edited November 6, 2012 by luvdnlost
ForeverlovingRami Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Be gentle and take it light, don't bring up the past or let it manifest if u wanna start all clean... I've done that and it's a big _NO NO_. So if u wanna come straight with this girl, take it all from scratch...Make her relive a nice memory you guys share or a place u been. Be the funny, playful, self confident gentleman u are. Maybe u have to start as "friends" and watch it develop. In that way you can analyze her better and if u notice the same behaviour again u'll prolly have to go through with that process but it's up to u if u think it's worth it. I mean friendzone can be both good and bad, if she has thoose feelings for u she will move from just friends to lover in notime depending on how it all develops. Most of the time people end up in the same drama couse there was no changes in their lifes during the time spent apart. So make sure u really wanna go through with this! Wish u best luck man!
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