trumpetlilly Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Hi all, I know the decision lies with me but i have no one to talk to and need some kind words and advice. I just found out my boyfriend of about 3 years has been cheating on me for the last 3 months. His explanation is that he thought i was also cheating with an old boyfriend-which i thought of doing, but didnt. At first he denied every little detail untill i pushed him. He went to the extent of bringing her into the house where we live together while i was away at my parents' for a few days. In those 3 months, our relationship was on the rocks, We did not communicate much, we had very little intimacy and we argued alot. For the first time our arguments got really bad, we both hit below the belt and said very nasty things to each other. I must admit i was considering leaving him but still feeling that there was a chance to work things out. About the old ex-boyfriend, he questioned me once about him and in anger, i responded that yes, i had slept with him, which isnt true, but i was angry and wanted to pit him off. I continue to see him as a friend and we spend time together when he is in town. my boyfriend has had sex with this girl atleast four times now and was planning another hook-up just two days ago when i busted him. I am completely broken and cant stop crying. I feel so hurt because i put my all into this relationship. He is very apologetic and insists that he only did it to get back at me for sleeping with the ex. Should i believe him, can i forgive him, will i ever forget? Should i still go on holiday with him and see if we can work things out? im thinking of moving out? Please help.
Darren Steez Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Firstly I'm sorry for your pain, it's not easy but time will heal the wounds First off and I'm going to be harsh, why lie about having sex with someone else?You obviously didn't tell him you lied about it and this is with a friend you say you have thought about cheating with, a friend you probably drop everything to hang out with? So you two obviously have a thing going on, a thing your boyfriend has spotted and it drives him mad so what do you say when you want to push his buttons, you go straight for the one thing you know for sure will hurt him, and you did. Not excusing his behavior, revenge cheating is not the answer. But it seems to me both of you are very immature by your actions. You hurt him now he's hurt you back. You already say you considered cheating and that is not a good sign, perhaps it's best the two of you parts ways because this seems to be a toxic relationship. You both don't trust each other, you both lie to each other. Move on 3
skywriter Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 my boyfriend has had sex with this girl atleast four times now and was planning another hook-up just two days ago when i busted him. Even if it were true, you don't do it four times and would have done it again, expect for being caught. You have to use your own good sense, to decide what you are willing to tolerate.
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