It was all a Lie from the start!! I was committe and so was he but to someone else!!

[Dkp]

I started talking to this guy in February. We hit it off right away before we even went out I made it a point to tell him I have dated two of his friends prior I wanted to make that clear in case it ever came up.. He had no issue with it he said it was in the past and we were grown. So we carried on made it official in June we fell in love brought him around my kids and me around his met families everything was great until he told me what I told him in the beginning was starting to bug him.. He said he couldn't look past it and he was obsessing over it having bad thoughts all the time. Made me feel real guilty and constantly held it over my head.. I was constantly reassuring him trying to make him feel better did everything I could.. Even considered seeing a shrink. He started becoming insecure he would go thru my phone and it made me insecure and I started going thru his phone and in the beginning I knew he was talking to someone because I would see this girl posting on his fb but he told me she was just a friend that watched his kids.. But I found out he had been dating her the whole time we were together going on a year now.. I called her and she told me they lived together and saw each other almost everyday.. She said they weren't official but it was everything but the title saying I love you having sec etc. I couldn't believe it I don't even kno how he time managed it. He told me he was more in love with me.. Went to the shrink but got a total different issue now.. Because he couldn't decide who he wanted to me with me and this other girl were emotionally invested and both still wanted him. After his therapy of one time! He said he knew who he wanted to be with.. Me. So I gave him second chance and he told her it was over.. A couple weeks past and I went thru his phone again and he was still keeping I'm contact with her and now were back to square one hrs confused again.. Mind you he was married and she helped him thru his divorce.. we're both sitting here like idiots letting him go back and forth he told us both that he needs to be alone fit now and needs spiritual Guideness and doesn't want to continue to hurt us. Not only fid he betray me but he made me feel terrible about the whole bring with his friend issue that he said still bothers him. Do I wait around and continue to fight for him because I genuinely love him? Or let him go accept it and move on?

[sissy106]

Sorry I have not read much ur whole thing but from the heading only I will say, leave that jerk right now and move out of this relation. He is a liar and he will always be that with you... Stay strong!

[Dkp]

Thank you.. It's just extremely hard. I kno deep down that if it was me and only me he wanted to be with than that's what it would be but it's not the case. I'm just having a hard time accepting that.. I can't take the rejection. The fact that I'm still sitting here even after all if this offering my whole heart reaching out for him and he's just turning the other way. It hurts me so bad.

[Leigh 87]

He never truly loved either of you.

 

If a man really loves a women, he cannot see other girls.

 

When a man really, really loves a women, he has nothing left to give another women.

 

 

 

At the most, he really really liked you both and loved you as people, but never loved you in a deep, and romantic sense.

 

 

 

The best thing to do would be to move on, because there are many men who will only want you, and not be able to get with other girls because they love YOU too much.

[Dkp]

I've come to realize that. I just wish I could do something about the pain. I feel so lost I made him the center of my world other than my kids.. And now he's gone I told him to leave me alone that if he wasn't going to tell me it's me and only me he wants then to let me be and he didn't even put up a fight just said that he needed to work on his own issues. Smh

[Dkp]

The pain is getting to me.. To the point where I want to beg him to stay with me and say I don't even care what's going on.. But I know that's not the life I want to live an I shouldn't settle it just sucks Cus I really wanted to be with him I didn't ask for this.. It's being forced upon me

[ffw]

OP, I don't even know where to start. I can't find one positive sign/point about him from your text. Can you? So, basically he was cheating on you the whole time & you gave him the second chance. Consequently, you are back to square one. Do you have any boundaries?

 

Moreover, he (constantly) critcizes you and now you think you are seriously flawed, and lucky to have found the one man who accepts those flaws.

 

Listen to your inner voices. Why do you want to settle with a cheater & with a guy who treats you in this manner? Low self- esteem? You are acting like a doormat & he's walking all over you. For the sake for yourself & your kids end this relationship.

[Dkp]

The thing is I know deep down thats what I have to do but it's soooo hard to let it go. I wish it were easier I should hate him for this.. But I'm still in love.

[Dkp]

I guess I fell in love with the wrong person.. The person he made himself out to be.. And when all this happened I was so emotionally invested that I couldn't let him go. he made himself out to be this great person and made it seem like he would never do anything like this.

[ffw]

The thing is I know deep down thats what I have to do but it's soooo hard to let it go. I wish it were easier I should hate him for this.. But I'm still in love.

 

Is it love or just afraid of being single? Honestly, which one you prefer being single or a bad relationship?

[Dkp]

I prefer to be single than to be with someone who not only did this to me but didn't even show half the love I did. To be completely honest.. I'm use to him.. And to know that he's with her is what's getting to me. Now that I told him to not contact me I know I made it easier for him and now he's goin to choose her by default. I shouldn't even care about that its not like they're going to work out.

[Leigh 87]

Amen! I spent a few weeks away from a man I'm not even sure about and neither one of us even thought about fiddling around with other people. Anyone who is moderately concerned with you does not carry on an entire life with someone else.

 

 

 

My partner went away to South East Asia and went out to clubs and never thought about cheating.

 

He just thinks that unless he is 100% into a girl and only wants to be with her sexually, that he should not even bother to be in a relationship with her.

 

You know; it is either 100% or nothing with a girl..

 

There IS no " inbetween", where you like the girl " enough" to stay, but " not enough" to keep you away from other women.