Biscous Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 After 5 months NC I broke it. We were together over a year. For the first month neither of us contacted on another. The subsequent month she constantly contacted me. I made a few threads about it. Sunday morning she hit me on FB. "Miss you. I don't mean to be weird." I ignored it. Every time she contacts me I sometimes get sick to my stomach out of fear, but not so much. She called me in the afternoon then texted "Can you talk?" I ignored it again. Then she called and as I walked out the store I decided to bite the bullet and answer. Long story short she apologized for things. Said she ****ed up. I found out she's a bit confused in life. She realized going back to her ex was an idiot thing to do hence why she was contacting me. I told her I can't fault her for being human. She knows I'm going to be in town to see my family (based on history) so she talked about meeting up. She said "You can call or text me...or if not that's fine too". We have been talking a bit today and she says: "I wish you didn't live in Texas, but it's for the best" "You're a good guy, Biscous. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm honestly undeserving of any relationship with you so I can't let us get too close." But she sent me a song talking about wanting 'us' back. I'm confused. She says there's so much she wants to talk to me about. I really don't know what she wants. I know we were highly physical during our relationship and she mentioned seeing a guy that reminded me of her (me being black) she said to herself that she missed me. I really don't know why she contacted me. It sucks because I care and do genuinely love her, but I know we aren't meant to be. I don't even think having sex with her is a good idea for either of us, but knowing the two of us is bound to happen. Any advice please.
Chi townD Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 "You're a good guy, Biscous. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm honestly undeserving of any relationship with you so I can't let us get too close." Any advice please. Here's the advice. Her quote should provide you with all the answers you need. You're wasting your time. Sorry dude.
River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Here's the advice. Her quote should provide you with all the answers you need. You're wasting your time. Sorry dude. I agree...it's loneliness, regret, desperation, guilt...but she's laid in on the line for you. Maybe you shouldn't meet with her, if things get emotional and you two have sex or get intimate, it's probably because she only wants an emotional connection with you to make her feel better, and it'll continue to confuse and hurt you. Maybe just go nc again and ask her to stop contacting you because it makes you feel bad and stalls your healing.
flitzanu Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 yep, see above. none of her conversation said "i want to fix this and get back together". she's realized her latest relationship failed and now she wants you to forgive her for being a jerk so she can clear her conscience, and while she's at it, she can bang you when you're in town and fill her "hole" in her heart since she's single.
Author Biscous Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 yep, see above. none of her conversation said "i want to fix this and get back together". she's realized her latest relationship failed and now she wants you to forgive her for being a jerk so she can clear her conscience, and while she's at it, she can bang you when you're in town and fill her "hole" in her heart since she's single. I guess she wants pity. I see. When she said she misses me I never said anything to her back like "I miss you too". She knows I'm not leaving where I live now and she knows its for the best. As far as getting back, she has an issue with pride. I doubt she would beg even if she wanted to be together. it just isn't possible due to our phases in life right now, which is the ultimate conflict. I'm not interested in getting back together so maybe NC is the better option here. Not sure why she contacted me though. This has been constant contact from her for months.
LostOne1 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 I guess she wants pity. I see. When she said she misses me I never said anything to her back like "I miss you too". She knows I'm not leaving where I live now and she knows its for the best. As far as getting back, she has an issue with pride. I doubt she would beg even if she wanted to be together. it just isn't possible due to our phases in life right now, which is the ultimate conflict. I'm not interested in getting back together so maybe NC is the better option here. Not sure why she contacted me though. This has been constant contact from her for months. Might be like my ex, where she might have her lonely days or days when the heart takes over the mind. Which means she has feelings and some days she breaks down to reach out. My ex did that where I saw her break down and want to talk and all. Then the next day or a few days later it's like her mind took over and she became the opposite and pushed away. It doesn't mean she wants to get back, it's either she is confused between her mind and heart or she just misses you and is lonely or guilty. But that doesnt mean she still wants to be with you.
flitzanu Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I guess she wants pity. I see. When she said she misses me I never said anything to her back like "I miss you too". She knows I'm not leaving where I live now and she knows its for the best. As far as getting back, she has an issue with pride. I doubt she would beg even if she wanted to be together. it just isn't possible due to our phases in life right now, which is the ultimate conflict. I'm not interested in getting back together so maybe NC is the better option here. Not sure why she contacted me though. This has been constant contact from her for months. yes. if you have no interest in getting together, your best bet is NC. that way you don't confuse yourself, and you don't lead her on.
Author Biscous Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 yes. if you have no interest in getting together, your best bet is NC. that way you don't confuse yourself, and you don't lead her on. It might be better for me and her in the long run. Not sure what's up. It's just weird she has been contacting me. "Are you with your new love?" Then the next day pulling back. I care about her and it'd be cool to talk but I'm not sure you're probably right.
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