I used NC on the ex that had GIGS, it ed in getting us back together!

[College_Stoodent]

I know that these forums are mostly sad stories and helping others cope in their situations, and that there are barely success stories since a) either they are very rare or b) those with success stories dont return to LS and dont have a chance to tell their stories.

 

I thought I'd come to tell a success story since I spent a considerable amount of time on LS during my period of heartbreak even though I spent more time reading than posting.

 

My point is, in my situation, using NC when my ex had GIGS helped in getting us back together. It only HELPED and was not the only factor in getting us back together. If you're single due to your ex having GIGS, your particular situation may be different from mine and my story is in no way a guarantee or a road map of what to expect in your life.

 

But here's my story.

 

We were dating for 6 1/2 years. I'm 22 and she's 23, prime age range for GIGS. In the past 6 months before we broke up, she was feeling very distant due to the GIGS starting to develop. She needed space, was emotionally distant, not physically intimate, did not display any enthusiasm for the relationship at all, and had a I don't give a crap mentality. I was hurt by how she was treating me since I still felt the same for her.

 

So after 6 months of this, she finally stops talking to me for two days saying she really needed her space. She let out all her feelings of not wanting to be in a relationship anymore, she wanted to be single and free, and just wanted to focus on herself and her life instead of having to be tied down in a relationship. She was very stressed out about school work and wanted to focus all on that and her future career instead of on a relationship. She still offered for us to be friends but I declined, saying that I'll give her the space she wants, and when she's past this phase then she can contact me again and we'll talk.

 

So thus initiated NC, which lasted for about exactly one month. It wasn't easy with me missing her a lot, dealing with anger and sadness, and being very tempted to go out of my way to see her.

 

So one month later of NC, she texts me out of the blue about some random topic. At first I ignore it, and then she texts me some more, giving me the message she wants attention. So I entertain the idea, we eventually get on the topic of us getting back together.

 

On her side of the story, she did develop GIGS, but the time of NC made her really regret it like she had foolishly gave up something good she had going on. NC made her miss me to no end and made the GIGS go away. She said she felt like crap for putting me thru hell. We talked for about 5 hours on my terms since I wanted to make sure from her that if I was going to take her back and continue a relationship that had been going on for many years that GIGS wouldn't come back again, especially since we're at the age it happens. I feel confident that I've gotten to know her very well over the past 6 1/2 years we dated to be able to trust what she was telling me when she explained everything on her side of the story.

 

So now its been about 2 weeks since we've been back together and things have changed. She's more open, loving, affectionate, and she's back to her old self that I fell in love with before she got GIGS. She knows what she did was wrong and why it was stupid, and is now as attached to me as I am to her.

 

I hope this isn't a honeymoon phase that would disappear and turn back into GIGS some day, but who knows.

[Minadee]

Aww I'm glad this has worked out for you Stoodent Gives me and I'm sure many other members a little glimmer of hope! It's always wonderful to read a sucess story.

[Tiera D]

U never read homebrews GiGs thread did you? it takes years to get over GiGs

 

TD

[dumPI]

Too soon to be true

[veggirl]

Yeah I don't mean to rain on your parade but a month is awfully fast for reconcilliation. I hope you found out what she was doing during that month, and it's not just that her rebound ditched her or something and now she is lonely.

 

Good luck though, I hope it works out.

[ImYours]

Very happy to hear. Don't let any negativity here weigh you down. Be positive and live your course.

[College_Stoodent]

Yes, I have read HomeBrew's thread on GIGS, and read almost everyone's responses, spending a few hours taking in everything everyone here on LS had to say. I did see the portion where it said it takes at least 6 month for one to get over GIGS.

 

However, I feel that while 6 months is a good generalization to measure one's potential recovery from GIGS, everyone is different. Just like how everyone develops differently during puberty, not every person is the same.

 

I feel that after knowing her very well, deeply and intimately for 6 1/2 years, I can trust from how she acts and feels towards me that her GIGS is over, even if it was one month.

 

But for now, we are both very happy with each other and I'm thrilled she's not the distant emotional zombie she used to be, and that she's back to how she was before GIGS. NC got her to miss the heck out of me and made her realize what she lost, and snapped her back to reality about what we had and how special it is.

 

6 months is a good estimate, but for other people's cases, it could be less, or it could be more, and thats if the ex even gets around to getting over GIGS at all. There are many many other factors that go into how long it takes a person to get over GIGS, or if they get over GIGS and want to return to their former lover, and each person's individual circumstance is too different to judge from just the 6 months rule of thumb, although it is a good generalization to go by.

 

Just thought I'd post my story of success for everyone!

[ashtree-house]

Congrats. Who cares if it is too soon to tell it may or may not come back but love and life is risk! Enjoy the moments