CMH309 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Was dating a guy for about 5 months. He was really intoxicated one night and acting like a huge jerk. So I asked him if he had any feelings for me and if he did then why was he treating me this way? He said he cared about me but didn't love me so we ended things. Didn't talk for a week at which time I dropped off his stuff (to door guy) didn't contact to tell him I was going to leave/ or left his things. I left a note in the bag that just said, Can you please mail said item to my house and gave address (nothing else was added to note). He text and asked if we could meet for dinner and he would return said item then. I agreed. We had dinner as if nothing happened, well not nothing, but you know didn't talk about anything relationship wise. During dinner he asked what my plan was for Thanksgiving. I told him I wasn't sure but some friends where having an orphan dinner (neither of us have family around the area. I have a lot of friends, he doesn't). He started saying he read an article about traveling alone for the holidays blah, blah (just a bunch of little hints that he would be alone with nothing to do) So at end of night he gave me a hug and I said, "we really didn't talk about anything" to which he replied, "let's talk" so we had a 20 min conversation- no anger, no drama just answered questions... He's in a bad place and he was sorry for hurting me (he lied a lot during the relationship, and was seeing another girl but all the while I was really helping him out with some emotional issues) I text when I got home thanks for the conversation. Too much has happened for me to trust you but I do think fondly of you and wish you luck with your journey. He responded (the next morning) that he would always appreciate what I did for him and I would always hold a special place in his heart. He also text that he hoped one day we could be friends but understood if that didn't make sense I started to feel bad about his comments regarding Thanksgiving so I replied, "I will not say we can't ever be friends, but at this time I need to be certain that I am ok with our relationship not continuing in the way I wanted. That said if you are going to be alone for Thanksgiving and would rather not be please give me a call and you may join me or we can chill and watch football..... He never replied?? I'm not too hung up on the whole thing, I mostly asked him out of guilt not because I really wanted to be with him- but we do always have a nice time together so I don't mind him... but I think I should have received so kind of response, right? Him not responding just makes me think that he thinks I'm a fool for even asking him. idk... maybe I'm being emotional- any insight?
River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 When texting falls into the equation as a replacement for talking to a person either face to face, or on the phone, there is always misunderstanding and trying to interpret or analyze things is futile to be honest.
Frank13 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 You break up because he doesn't love you. Then you ask him to Thanksgiving out of guilt, not because you really want to be with him. So it sounds like you aren't that into him either. I say drop the whole thing, go NC, and let each of you get on with your life. The last thing I would want is to be invited someplace out of guilt. 1
Author CMH309 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 I do care about him. A lot. I know he is not in a good place and I need to detach myself, but I care about his emotional wellbeing.... Either way, you are correct about moving on. I text him again this morning 'Are you ignoring me now?' no reply... It's very cruel as he calls me a lot when he needs help. I have never been pushy or needy, I've always said regardless of where and/or who he finds himself with, if he is hurting he may contact me, but this is just absurd behavior...(and hurtful)
StarsOnFire Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Don't text him again. You are sending mixed signals, saying you can't really be a friend but then invite him over for thanksgiving dinner. Maybe he was just too busy to even reply to you, or was trying to think of a way to respond. Who knows? All I think is that you sending another text saying 'are you ignoring me?' is unneeded. Move on, he's not worth getting worked up over.
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